Tuesday, April 17, 2007


I was reading an article about exhaustion on WSJ today and could very well relate to it. I am very exhausted many days after working continuously from the time I get up. Chintu is an early riser (sometimes as early as 4:45 AM :) ). From then on its getting things ready for the day, working and jumping between meetings in the office, playing with Chintu back home, feeding him, bedtime routine, preparing and having dinner and the list goes on...In between this I have to juggle the doctor's appointments and what not! I am not saying this happens every day but many many a days. Even a good night's sleep does not help many times..
My question is, how do you deal with exhaustion? What do you do to relax? ..I used to do yoga, listen to music, enjoy the garden etc...but who has the time now?! So, looking for interesting tips :)


Asha said...

Hi Dee,just reading about your routine exhausts me!! What a tough juggling that is.

I do understand completely.Most days,I can't even stand up by 7.30pm and rush upstairs and do my some more chores and collapse on the bed.It's much harder for you with little kid and almost a luxury to sleep peacefully.

I say,let your hubby take care of some of the chores like doctor's appointments and in the evenings while you go for a walk or just relax by yourself for at least 30 mins!Same in the weekends,go shopping alone.Little time for ourselves makes us lot better mothers and at coping with life in general.

Other than that,we just have to sail through life as it comes I guess.Hugs to you:)

Dee said...

Thanks Asha :)..forgot to mention that hubby is busy with his MBA program! He is a very helpful partner inspite of this. He takes up a lot of middle of the night taking care..I loved your idea of shopping alone!..sounds very fun ..and thanks for the hugs :)

Sandeepa said...

Hi Dee
With a work and and a baby...it definitely is tough. I know how you must be feeling.
Can you work reduced hours or from home ? That could help maybe.

One of my friends who has two kids and works hires a help for 2 hours in the evening 4 days a week to help her out a little.

After picking up my daughter and reaching home after work, I tell my daughter that I will lie down for half an hour and she can play besides me or even watch TV for half hour. That gives me a little rest.

But you have your parents or in-laws with you, or did they leave ? else you can take half an hour for yourself in the evening while Chintu plays with them

This too shall pass and as Asha said Go Shopping -- Retail Therapy is best ;-)

Vee said...

Don't mean to be flippant, but I blog to relax :D

GettingThereNow said...

I know what you mean! I work full-time from 7:30am to 4 pm, pick up my daughter from school, take her to her after-school activities (Swim practice on two days, music on one day and tennis on another), come back and help her with her homework and try to get dinner on the table by 7:30 pm to she can go to bed in time, attend PTO and PTO council meetings at least one day of the week (they run from 7:30 pm to 9:30 or 10 pm usually), am also part of the Technology council at my daughter's school that meets once or twice a month and have volunteered to help teachers over the phone if they have any technical issues (so have given out my cell phone number to all of them). To relax, I HAVE to read a little before bed time. Also, I plan the whole week's menu on Saturday or Sunday and make preparations for it so I don't have to spend much time in the kitchen on weekdays. There is a lot more that i do to cope but only this comes to mind right now.

Dee said...

-Sandeepa , resting a while after returning home sounds good... will work on that from today :)
- Vee, yes blogging is relaxing :)
- Cee Kay, phew..you go girl!..preparing a menu for the week is a very good idea which I need to try out..
Thanks all!!

Reena said...

dee, i know how you are feeling. some days i have busy schedules too and with a toddler it is all the more difficult.

two things refreshes me: shopping and music. shopping again needs specific days so music it is. i have a set of cds with instrumental music guitar, sax, piano, harp, sentimnettal music, romantic music..all instruments and i listen to it all the time when i am home. it relaxes me.

these days blogging relaxes me too:))

Roopa said...

Hi Dee,
it is really tough i know how u feel. Even with a helper i am exhausted and everytime i feel may be something is wrong how do others manage??
my son though 2 yrs until today he does not sleep a full night sleep. So daily i just cross my fingers while i put him to bed.
By 7 when i am back home i do not have time to sit and watch tv or listen to music leisurely, i think all this is phase of life. To maintain job and family is tough at this phase, but definately some tips might help. But i think i am lucky than some of you as i do not have to worry of cooking for lunch taken care by my maid except for my daughter she wants mom to do everything!!

Meeta said...

Hi Dee,
It's not at all easy for a working mother and wife to juggle everything. My advice to you is to first see why Chintoo is such a early riser. Is it because he has to get up at this time? Or because he cannot sleep? If it is the later talk about it with you pediatrician. Soeren had a very long phase when he would wake up several times in the night. We talked to his doc and he recommended many interesting methods to get Soeren to relax and sleep through the night.

The next thing is that you need a break from the routine. What I have done is found a gym that offers childcare during the times I workout. So I go to the gym with Soeren 2 times a week, one of those days he himself does kiddies sport for an hour. So, he is benefiting from that too.
I have 2 hours each gym day for myself. I work out, chat with a few friends and simply relax. On Thursday afternoons Soeren goes to music school for an hour. This time I either take a nice magazine and if the weather is good I sit outside in the garden and read if the weather is not so good I simply sit in the cafe with a cup of coffee and read.
On some days I pick Soeren up from the KIGA, with his bicycle packed in the car. We then go to the park and I either jog and Soeren rides next to me or I just walk and enjoy the fresh air. Normally this is great to meet up with other friends and their kids. We have a very small group of 4 mummies and kids and have started a kind of mummy and kiddy jogging group!! The kids ride their bikes and we mums jog in the park.

The last piece of advice I have is to get yourself a babysitter! As Tom is doing his PhD. I understand that there is very little time for them to play a huge role in the house. But once in a while it is so very important to just get out of the house with your hubby. We do this at least once a month. We have the most fantastic babysitter in the world and she was a huge pillar for me when Tom was in Dubai on research work for 6 months in 2005. Soeren loves her to bits and this makes it easier for us to get a night off at least once a month to go to the movies, theater or just out to dinner with friends.

I also read that Sandeepa mentioned your parent/in-laws. My in-laws live about 15 kms from us and very often they take Soeren for an entire weekend to their place. Soeren loves being there as Grandparents always ROCK!! We love it too because we have from Friday afternoon till Sunday afternoon FREE!! If you can manage something similar than that is worth GOLD many times over.

Sorry if my response was too long but I wanted to offer you some really helpful ideas, from my own experience.

Meeta said...

correction my in-laws live 150 kms (not 15kms)!

Kay said...

Btw, shopping alone is NOT for shopping grocery! :)

You have to find sometime and do something that 'you' want for yourself. Even taking a nice long bath with soft music on the background, is a luxurious way to relax, without wandering further from home. You can also add some epsom salts / bath salts / essential oils to help you relax even more.

I agree with Meeta. Working out is a great way to relax. It is physically tiring, yes! But, it helps in working out all your aggression and at the end of a good workout, you are so full of energy. Exercise gives such a high!

Also, like gettingtherenow suggests, I prepare stuff on the weekends, to help me get my weekdays pass better. say, peeling garlic, ginger and storing for latter use, making ginger-garlic paste, tomato paste, chopping onions and storing airtight, marinating meat and freezing, I roast meat/fish and freeze in bulk. Once in a while, don't hesitate to order pizza :)

Dee said...

- Reena, aaah..instrumentals are my fav too. I have to begin sorting out my CDs and remember to listen to music when I'm stressed :)..thanks..
- Roopa, I sure hope all this is only phase of life :)
- Meeta, awesome suggestions!..I'll work on getting a night off once a month and the gym . Yes, my in-laws are in town, its just that I don't want them to fell exhausted too as they take care of Chintu all the while I'm at work. But all your tips are very exciting and I'll check those out!
- Kay..LOL on grocery 'shopping' ..haha!..off late that has been my 'shopping' alone..but I am going to splurge on retail therapy once a moth atleast ;)

Thanks ALLLL :)
Thanks guys for all your awesome suggestions!...to begin with , I tried a warm bubble bath for me ;)..and it has worked out great!..I am feeling much better this morn. I am going to try every single suggestion mention by each one of you and pamper myself more often !

Vee said...

Sorry about that one line comment before, I was on my way to a meeting. Here is what I do, that has made a difference for me. I cook stuff for dinner in the morning. when I come back from work in the evening, the most I have to do is put rice in the pressure cooker to cook. It might not sound like much, but it helps a great deal because

a) when I am playing with my kids , I am not worrying about dinner. It actually makes the playtime relaxing and the kids very happy. That also relaxes the kids enough and makes the feeding, bedtime routine smoother.
b) It leaves me free to go out for a drive with the kids , if needed. That means, you can take some of the advice given before like gym, shopping etc. without worrying about dinner.

I wake up at 5.00 AM and try my best to get everything done in the mornings, so I have the evenings free to enjoy the kids and pursue some hobbies(blogging). Since you are anyway up by that time....
Hope it helps!

Praba said...

Hi Dee -

I am a SAHM, and I get tired and exhausted all the time with having to take care of two kids...I can't imagine how hard it must be for you. Sometimes, all you need is someone to share your burden of household work, and that might really help you feel relaxed...

I take help three days a week for 3 hours with my household work mostly, and little bit with my baby. I figured if I fly someone from India we would anyway spend on the tickets, insurance etc.. Right now, my parents or in-laws can't come to help with the baby. I figured the best thing for me to keep my sanity is to take help. I don't feel guilty at all about taking help. All moms do in India, right? This is my solution to deal with house chore-related exhaustion, even though it costs a few hundred bucks but it's worth it until kids grow up....:-)

DR said...

Hi Dee,
I can also relate to your exhaustion..
1.What I have just started is also using the gym...atleast 1/2 times a week...I feel very very fresh after the gym shower.(Though the first few days were hell..when the lazy muscles protested against my decision!!!ignore them)

2. My A-SENIOR cooks very well..so I get to have "no cooking fridays" and also sometimes during the weekweekends..and even simple food like pasta prepared by someone else can be soooooo tasty at the end of the day..would give you a naughty tip here..PRAISE YOUR HUBBYS COOKING SKILLS NOW AND THEN..

3. Drink lots of water..really helps.


SJ said...

Dee, I know what you mean. I get home around 5:45pm. I a;ways spend the first 15 min prely with myu daughter but then starts the rush ti get dinner ready, feed her, give her a bath, read to her get her to sleep. I am going through an extremely busy phase at work, after she sleeps, I clean up from dinner, load the dishwasher finish other chores. Then log back on and work till 11:30pm -12:00pm or whenever my brain shuts off.

Vee, I have often said that if I could get up an hour earlier each morning, a lot of my problems would be solved. Unfortunately unless I have an early mrning meeting, I am rarely able to drag myself out of bed before 6:30am (and it's worse in winter)

I love all the ideas offered here by other Moms. You gals rock!

Anonymous said...

Hi Gals..

I am mom of hyper active 2 yr old who would just not even leave me to go to loo after I come back from work..!!!

The best thing to kill exhaustion I have found is to make out in the night..however tired u r, making out really gives a wonderful deep sleep !!!.
Hope it helps !!