Monday, May 7, 2007

M a hole Bujhbi (You have to be amother to understand)

Hi all,
Happy Mothers day to all of us!
All the posts related to this topic are so touching...actually we can relate to all the incidents...that makes it so much more touching...
my few lines on this.......

One thing which came to my mind immediately after "A" was born was "I will never ever say anything against my mother from now on!!"

My mom did not we(me and my brother) had a "full time " mother. So when we came home , ma was always there. She scolded us quite often, even thrashings were not rare.
[she now admits that her patience level is low! ;-)) ]
She was very strict on things like playing outside in the evenings till dark.
1. "shondher aage bari ashbe..amake jeno daak te na hoy [come home before dark...dont let me call you]"
2. "Chitrahaar dekhar boyosh hole ami nijei tomader dakbo [when your age is right for watching chitrahaar, I will call you myself]"
3. "Thalay jeno khabar pore na thake [ no leftovers on the plate!!]"
These words are so deeply embedded in my head now...that even while I write them...i can almost HEAR them...believe me!!!
At that point of was almost like having a "cruel" mother....especially when the next day at school quite a few of my friends started discussing the chitrahaar, I felt so stupid and dumb!!
always thought how "lucky"those friends were to have a mother like that!!

With age and maturity, I came to understand that all these things which appeared "cruel and unnecessary" at that point, made me what I am today...and I am thankful for that!

Today, specially after I became a mom:
I feel the closest to her!
I can justify every action of hers .
All those thrashings/scoldings make sense.
Can really feel the difficulties she faced bringing us up!
Can really recognise and relate to all she did/does!
Miss the "small" things like massaging oil in my hair every saturday night....
....the list can just go on and on and on......

One very very important thing which she said was,[I realised the meaning/importance much later ]
"if a child is good, everyone says its MR. X's son/daughter, if the child is bad its always Mrs. Y's fault"...

......which is so so very true....even to this day!

Happy mothers day!!


Sandeepa said...

OMG DR, your "Ma hole Bujhbi" is the exact thing my Ma used to say !!! She was ok on Chitrahar sometimes but I remmber the words from your earlier post "sandhye holo porte bosho" ar "shondher aage bari asbe" which were regularly uttered at my home too :)

Now you should repeat all of those in "Dangla" for little "A"
Waiting to hear your funny anecdote too (remmeber something to do with senior-A's reaction)

Asha said...

HeHe!! Good one dr!!
Although I don't approve of excessive thrashings some Indian parents give their kids(in general,notin your case),yes,sometimes it is necessary,will teach us some lessons indeed.
Last sentence is so true and very irritating to me.I struggled to teach the kids every day until they are 12 and when they get their names in the local papers,it's always my hubby who gets the praises although he is hardly at home most of the time!!!Grr...!!:))
Happy Mother's day to you.

DR said...

Sandeepa: I know, that sentence was pretty common in most households. I specifically remembered it last weekend when one of my friends daughter (16 yr old) was asking her mom to increase the "shut down time" from 12 midnight to 2:00 am!!!!!!!!!!!
times surely have changed/...

will come back on the anecdote(SENIOR A) for sure.....
[Who would want to miss such a chance?? ;-)) ]

Asha: I know..I am totally against thrashing as well..a pat on the back now and then maybe ok...but not more. We got thrashings from mom, sure, but that was her way of doing things..and today I dont feel bad about that!
yes, the last sentence will remain true always..


Kodi's Mom said...

I like the title and although the language I've heard it in is different, the content is universal :) LOL at chitrahaar! for us, chitrahaar wasnt so bad - but sunday night movies were forbidden..!

Shivapriya said...

Moms know what is right and wrong, we cannot think how she use to feel until we step into her shoes. Wonderful post DR.
Happy Mothers Day!

mommyof2 said...

"if a child is good, everyone says its MR. X's son/daughter, if the child is bad its always Mrs. Y's fault"

so true:-)

I think we had similar childhood;-)Sometimes I feel like a cruel mother myself too but I hope my kids will understand that its for their own good..

swapna said...

Even my mom also was the same.the last sentence of urs is 100%true in our India.Can't do anything.

Happy mother's day to u and ur mother..