First of all , it is really hard to come up with something nice and clever to write about motherhood after all the wonderful things that have been said here already by all other members of the club. I am in deep awe reading all your thoughts with respect to what some of you have gone through personally with your own motherhood and the relationship with your mothers. Some amazing posts!
With respect to my own motherhood, I tried to do a bollywood style flashback and visualize if there were really any spectacular moments that stood out the last five years in fulfilling my role as a mother. I've been thinking about it REAL hard the last one week, and I should say there are hardly any that I can take any credit for in my role as a mother.
As a mother of two little girls , to me, I am taking baby steps with my own motherhood, and it is evolving at every stage - to learn to bring my family as the centerpiece of my attention and focus. As much as I enjoy the fact that I give my children my maximum time and attention, there are also moments when I feel anxious about a few issues and primarily these
1)not being able to pursue a career outside of home and do justice to my gradschool education, which I had pursued with so many dreams. Just a matter of time and taking it easy, but life takes interesting turns for a few and for me interesting moves - which have really helped my persepectives grow!
2) doing the mundane chores that don't involve spending time with my kids but nevertheless have to be done to run a family - that still is a real big challenge to me, and doesn't come naturally at all! ( I know I'm totally the minority club person here - there have been many a night I just walk out of the kitchen like a kid would do after dinner without loading up the dishwasher or cleaning up the floor/countertop - how gross is that - but hey - you are welcome to my swamp anytime unlike shrek's!! )
3) I may sound a little selfish here - to get time for myself to do little things alone- take a walk, read a book sitting alone, do yoga etc. etc. really some quiet time!
Anyways - those are my personal issues that I need to learn how to tackle better, and get clarity on. I am working hard at those. But there's something that I want to think about seriously this mother's day - as in - I want to make some vows this mother's day and keep 'em up, particularly after I move to my new place this summer - Here they are in general - Work toward serenity, and tranquility in mind and space!! (Please don't forget to remind me about this and I will get to it once I settle down - vows evaporate easy from memory,don't they?)
Coming to my mother's life and reflecting upon my relationship with her, there are so many, so many positive memories with her and I look forward to lot more of those. But having said that, there have also been tons of those "get irritated with your mother at the drop of a hat" kind of relationship with her and still is at times. Our relationship has evolved, and we don't judge each other as much as we used to before - like I would question every conservative tradition of hers, and she would look down upon me for NOT being a "stereotypical married woman who would wear mangalsutra, bindi etc.." ( she was never imposing - thanks to my dad's liberal outlook - but sometimes she can be really annoying with her "follow traditions" kind of thinking - she has changed a lot or rather washed her hands off me?...)
Coming to the positives, I have deeply admired my mother for her optimism, energy, and common sense. She is not that highly educated but she is such a confident woman and fun to be around! We discuss social issues, and poltiics and she will have some interesting points to make most of the time! We joke about relatives (:-))) and at times, gossip to the point that I start feeling disgusted with myself and my mother!! All this we got to do during her trips to the US - thanks to my staying at home last year - we caught up on SO many family stories that I would have never heard! Really those are the recent highlight moments for me with respect to my relationship with her mother! :-) She is so enterprising and creative in and out of the kitchen and just a lovely,lovely person with a gleaming smile!
After all those boring personal stories, here's something I wanted to share as a general point as to what I think about my own motherhood - I am sure I am going to ramble at explaining this and I don't know if I am going to make sense - here I go in any case -
I'm sure we all have seen those gifts that people pack in those nested boxes and bury the "real" gift in the smallest box where you have to keep unwrapping box after box, and you know, there's some box with the gift hiding in there - usually the last one - that has the real gift...You are excited about opening each box and keep working hard at it. It is fun, yet you also think "Why did they have to make it so hard ?" That's how I've been feeling about my own motherhood and parenting in general! Each stage is like opening a box (sometimes a pandora's box too hiding inside somewhere!) Lots of anxieties and hardwork at each step in the process, while at the same time knowing very well you're working toward something positive and meaningful. You know it is all for a good cause, and the gift of knowing in the end you've done a good job of raising good children is more precious than any gift you would ever receive in any box! (that doesn't mean I don't get gifts this mother's day - I actually got mine already!!! :-))
That's it from me! Have a great mother's day, and have a wonderful weekend!