Friday, May 11, 2007

Happy Mothers Day Sale

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Little S knows all about Mothers Day. By "about" I don’t mean the history or the Hall Mark-ing of it but she knows there is a day like this when you are supposed to give your Mom cards etc. before you throw the usual tantrum. When she was 16 months, it was my first Mother's Day as a Mom and D took her to get me a card and Mom’s Day gift. I got a funny card with a mirror and a dangly sparkly kind of bracelet in some abstract color which is not something I take to wearing. When I asked D why he got that thing, he said because S pointed it out!!! So last year I took it upon myself to get me something sensible crediting the money spent and joy of gift giving to D of course. The most precious thing though was the card little S made in school for Mother’s day.

Since S is a 3 year old now with much more sense and I am a lover of good gifts, I was dreaming that maybe she will point out to the dazzling ruby and diamond bracelet or the Coach handbag at Macy’s when D takes her to buy the Mom’s Day gift instead of pointing to some arbitrary stuff .

So yesterday I told S with a lot of enthu – “You know Mothers Day is this month”
She said – “Oh when is it?” (In Bengali she said “Kobe re?” with the right inflection)
So I showed her the calendar and the day and asked her – “What do you want to do on the day?”
She flung her small soft arms around me and said “I want to hug you” !!!
Holding her tightly the commercialized Mom in me said “ What else ?”
She said “ It will be your holiday so you won’t have work and I want to sit in your lap all day”

I was ashamed, yeah downright ashamed. While I was thinking of gifts all this tiny creature wanted was to love me and be with me. Amidst all the days work its true that I don't always get time to be just with her. So even when I am physically around and it may seem I am spending time with her, I am multitasking and feeding her while chopping veggies or sneaking a peek at the blogs while talking to her. I don't really just sit with her for long. Even if I do for a little while I am prone to say " Chal chal anek kaj ache" (Let's get going I have lots to do). Soon she will grow up and this is not what she will want from me. So as long as she asks for it maybe I should set aside my chores and just sit and enjoy and smell the freshness of her innocence. (Ok it may not work out as beautiful as it sounds because this 3 year old is an active imp and before long you may see me panting and gasping for air, a far cry from "smelling innocence" but at least I should make an effort)

I was never a fan of Valentines Day, but I liked Mothers Day since even being far I would send my Mother small gifts which I thought showed my love for her and it also meant “one more occasion” to get some loot for myself. But maybe even all my Mom wanted was just to be with me (or maybe she preferred the gifts which were more useful than the adult me , I never asked)

So between my Mother and my little daughter was I the one caught in the Hall Mark warp, totally discounting the actual essence of the day and concentrating on the screaming Mothers Day Sale banners instead.

To change my attitude this year I asked D to not get me a gift for Mother's Day, instead if the weather is good we will pack a lunch and have a "picnic" somewhere and enjoy the day as it comes
(D if you are reading this, you can give me gift on all other occasions, do not take this to your benefit. I am thinking of the child here remember !!!)

Happy Mother's Day to my Ma who has always been a good friend, has helped me through all my growing years including my studies, stood by me when I wanted to take up job in another city, stood by me in most of my life's decisions and done for me a lot more that I can ever imagine doing for her. I really feel bad that being far I am not really able to do for her as I should have as a grown up daughter in their day to day life. But she doesn't complain and neither expects anything from me. Hope to be a similar mother for S to be happy in her happiness and not expect much....

Happy Mothers Day to my Ma-in-law who has been very good to me

Happy Mothers Day to myself and to all you Moms
(This post shared with Bong Mom's CookBook)

9 comments:

Poppins said...

That's a nice honest post..:) DO let us know what S and D picked out finally :-)

Asha said...

HeHe!!! Love,hugs and kisses we get all the time.Hubby should serving you breakfast in bed with S's help and pamper you.DO NOT say no.
Arvind NEVER buys anything for me for Mother's day and says "kids have to,you are not my mother!!" ;D
Enjoy your picnic,that's great too,anywhere and anyway you feel special is good enough.Have fun!!Hugs:))

trupti said...

Cute, Cute!! I hope you have a grand day..no matter what!

Hugs,
Trupti

swapna said...

Hi sandeepa
reading about ur child's wish has made me think about doing job?:-?
Very touching words ..:-)
I hope ur hubby read this..hee heee..
Happy mother's day to u too.
Enjoy the day with ur little one..

Saheli said...

Aww Sandeepa! very cute and honest post. Today, my kids too gave me pictures they made at school for M-day and I'm still thinking, maybe my husband got something nice(& expensive) :)
Have a wonderful M-day with S & D

sandeepa.blog said...

Poppins
Yeah still hoping ;-)

Asha
Good that your kids have grown up and have enough pocket money now :)
Would rather not have the breakfast in bed, sure to make a mess :)

Trupti
Tahnks

Swapna
Its not really about Job. I come back from work early but even when I am doing something with my daughter its always "doing stuff" like painting etc.
I do not sit with her on my lap for long and she loves to get on my lap a lot :)

Saheli
Yeah S gave me a card made at school too and Monday I ahve to go to her school for a Mothers Day tea

Kodi's Mom said...

thanks for the wake-up call! laptime with the little one sounds way way better than anything money can buy :)

DR said...

Hi Sandeepa,
Nice post. Indeed time flies..and very soon they will OUTGROW our laps, both physically and mentally!
So this is the time...lets enjoy!

dr

Vini K said...

Really nice write up Sandeepa!I know,I am not a working mom and yet I just hurry A all the time saying I have lots to do!I was going thru a similar situation last year, and then one day we were just sitting and I was cuddling A and in turn,she gave me a nice peck on my cheek .That did it.I kept thinking for days afterwards.I always wish we had more time with my parents but since both were working,we never had much time with them.I decided then that there has to be something better I can offer this child,the one I brought into this world on my own accord.Since that day,I have stopped rushing things with her.I let her do things.Every now and then she does get an occasional shouting or a spanking but not too often now.I always want to be a good friend and loving mom to my kid, and give her all the time I can:)