Hello to all you wonderful Mums out there,
I'm a new member here. Thank you, Sandeepa, for adding me to the group.
Originally from Hyderabad, I now live in Europe - so I miss the sunshine! That says it all about the weather here, I guess :-)
I am a mother of 2 girls, and currently a SAHM (stay-at-home Mum). My girls are both under 4 years of age. I have grown to define myself first and most as a mother, and I marvel at this fact and wonder at the change in myself that motherhood has wrought.
It took me a while to understand this - that being a Mum deserves to be called a 'career' in it's own right - it's a job that requires endless patience and inventiveness. So now when somebody asks me what I'm doing about my 'career', I ask, "which one? I have 2. I'm concentrating on the first one. The second career is temporarily on hold. I'll go back to it when these 2 little critters don't need me as much as they do now".
I have keenly followed the topic of SAHM/WOHM on this forum. Many of you have written your views eloquently. They've all been interesting. You've mostly said it all, and I don't think there is much to add.
You know, it's not a 'this-versus-that' thing at all. It's not a question of which do you think is better, it's a question of what you want for your children/family and how you decide to reach that goal. It's a question of priorities. And it's unique to every situation, every family.
I think there are many people here who've worked and stayed at home at various times in their life. All parents would agree on one point - you do what you have to do to give your family the best chance in life. (Applies as much to me and you as to the poor women leaving their families and going abroad to do domestic duties. As far as this point is concerned, it's all down to our primal instinct to do what we think will be best for our kids.)
At the moment, I have decided to not work for as long as is necessary for my girls and family. I realize that as they grow older and spend more time at school, I will have plenty of time at my disposal.
I'll work again -later - because it's unfair to not use my professional talent and expertise. It took about 12 years to acquire it, so it would not be right to waste it away. As a medical professional, I can do immense good for the society I live in. So I will......just as soon as both my kiddies are in school for the greater part of the day.
On my first break, after working for 10 years, I was pretty much enslaved by my firstborn (she was demanding, temperamental, spirited and one step ahead of me - still is ). I had become a real homebody, when a very good job offer came my way. After a lot of thought, I started working again full-time. It was tough for all three of us. I worked till she was nearly 3, when I took another break for my second child.
This time, I had learnt enough from experience to make the decision to stay at home for at least 2 years after the birth.
Although some days they drive me crazy and make me admit that practicing medicine was a lot easier, on the whole I cherish the time I have with them. Their childhood won't come back.
I want to say that our children are not the only ones growing - so are we. We grow and learn from our experiences every day.
So I've changed from a staunch career-woman ("I want to be Head of the Dept before 35") to a 'working Mum' (oxymoron isn't it - who works harder than Mums?) who was willing to accept 'some' compromises("okay, okay, I'll get there before 45"), to a now mostly SAHM who won't even consider working till her child is at least 2 years ("I'll settle for doing something good for society while looking after my precious girls - somebody else can be the HOD").
That's how kids change you. And it's good that they do. I have accepted this change with happiness.
For now, I'm not in a rush to get anywhere further career-wise. At my own pace, I'll get there :-).