Friday, August 17, 2007

Lucky Me!

Posted by Saheli

Yes, I am very lucky. I had the opportunity to experience both as SAHM and WM. After going through all the ups and downs, I finally wanted a bit of both worlds so, I chose part time WM and major time SAHM. Currently, I work Mon-Thurs 9-3 for a very understanding and cooperative boss. After 3, I become the "bechari" with 2 demanding bosses. Nah, I should say 3 counting my husband P too. Well, I do fulfill some of his demands too. (well I try)

Well, here is how it all started...

I grew up in a middle class family in Bombay. My mom worked very hard to raise us 4 siblings she was the bread maker whereas my dad was the sole breadwinner. I always saw my mom working, always busy with cooking, cleaning, laundry and dishes. I think watching her work so hard every day, I had subconsciously made up my mind to become a working woman and be financially sufficient.

After graduating, I was all set to look for a nice stable govt job (well, thats what all middle class girls were doing at that time). But, God had different plans for me. A few of my friends from college were all going to attend the entrance exams for MCA (well, they had bigger plans). And since we did all masti together I was dragged into this too. Unfortunately, the ones that were most interested didn't get through and I the least interested got admitted. With my dad's encouragement and support and a long lecture on how fortunate I am to get into such a prestigious college and blah blah..., I started my masters degree. Well, here is where I met my husband. Destiny - thats all I can say. After 3 yrs of projects, assignments and ofcourse dhamaal and masti, both P and I got good jobs and finally my dream had come true.

No, not so soon... P got a good offer and an opportunity to go to US. That was his big dream. We got married and without thinking twice I gave up my dream and in an instance resigned from the wonderful job and set out to be with my new dream - my husband in his dreamland.
Now, in this wonderful country of opportunities, I was all set to start a career. I had prepared my resume and then of course God had yet another plan for me, we found out that I was pregnant...(damn those faulty condomns). We were happy and everything seemed right. Without second thoughts I decided to stay home till the baby was born.

From that time till my son was 1.5yrs old we moved to 4 different cities. P had a contract with his consulting co. and had to move wherever the project was. My mom couldn't come to help me during my delivery because she had medical problems, why my MIL didn't come is not even logical - just because. Well, with God's grace my whole pregnancy and delivery was normal (well other than the labor pain that was not normal, it was evil) Anyways, M started growing up I didn't miss going to work at all. I was happy taking care of my house and my family and I loved it.

Once M started going to preschool, I started getting more free time and then all those forgotten dreams started to surface. I remembered how thousands entered and only 30 were selected for MCA. I was feeling guilty that somebody more deserving could have got the spot and become a desi Bill Gates. I felt as if I wasted a spot which somebody else was dying for. Luckily, soon enough I got a good job. It was like "meri life meh char chand lag gaye". M is my easy child. We didn't have any issues with his eating or going to daycare. Parenting seemed so easy with him. Every thing was perfect, happy family, satisfying job what more could you ask for. Well, if you have a son you could ask for a daughter and God listened.

After two years of full time job and enjoying the WM part, I became pregnant with S. S is not my difficult child but, she sure makes my life difficult. I didn't have any complications but, had a huge tummy and had miserable back problems. Nobody came for this delivery too. Well, my mom had passed away and my MIL didn't want to come - just because. I cried so hard because maybe I missed my mom and all around me other girls had so much help from their moms or MIL, that I felt very unlucky. I was very depressed during my 2nd pregnancy and just was emotionally distressed. Somehow, I got my courage and continued to work. Before S came out, I made arrangement for her. A friend in our neighborhood agreed to look after her. Everything seemed fine till S was born. The 8 week period went in a blink of an eye. Just two days before I the day I had to resume to work I had these guilty feeling of leaving my baby with somebody else. I don't remember how but, I decided to quit my job. I am very grateful to P that he supported my decision and I am also grateful that I had the liberty to take that decision as P's income was enough for us.

Well, getting back to SAHM was easy and I was enjoying it till I got a call from my ex-boss asking if I would consider working parttime. First time in my life I felt very lucky. I got flexible time, same position and salary and flexibility of long vacations during summer. As if this was not enough for somebody as greedy as me, I asked if I could take Fridays off during summer and I got that too. I feel very blessed.

I am both SAHM and a WM. For me its just a matter of choice. There is no debate as what one should opt for. It matters only what works for you and your family. Its like whether you take up a job or start your own business. It all depends on your circumstances.

If it is still not clear please refer to the other wonderful posts under this theme...

Just kidding... read them anyways - they are all awesome!


indosungod said...

Saheli, heartening to read how you came through during those difficult times. Now you have hit a solution that is optimal and works for you. Way to Go!

Sandeepa said...

Yeeh you work part time too ? It definitely helps to keep the balance both ways and I get a lot of time off during summer too. Great going and you indeed are lucky :)

Nimi said...

Thanks for sharing the experience.. but it has scared me all the more ...!!! but as it turns out in ur case good things will come up..

Kay said...

Saheli, How wonderfully you've made your priorities clear and have made your work, work for you. :)

Another example to prove Emerson right.. "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." You are one strong woman, Saheli, to have gone through both the pregnancies alone.

shweta said...

Great post ! You came out with flying colors and deserve the very best !!Wondeful having Fridays off!!!

Kavitha said...

Hats off to you !
How true it is that we get inspired by our moms - didnt realize it until I became a mom myself.

Saheli said...

Indosungod, Sandeepa, Nimi, Kay, Shweta and Kavitha.
Thanks for your kind words.

mnamma said...

I am glad this arangement works for you. Good for you!