Born a rebel perhaps, had a difficult childhood, gave quite a tough time to my mom I suppose. A board topper and post grad in Maths Mom with a range of extra curricular accomplishments, she had opted to become a SAH Mom, and perfectly raise her own two daughters. It was definitely a reflective decision as she lost her Mom at 4, and grew up in a home with an indifferent step mom. However, this increased pressure for performance on us across curricular as well as extra curricular disciplines
Me having a very strong mind since childhood, converted every non agreement into a huge war for independence.... and the war continues. As I grew up, one realisation was pretty brutally etched in my mind.... I will not sacrifice my work life and try to find personal success through that of my child.... in fact, funnily it was one of the pre-conditions for accepting D as my fiance and later hubby.
Lucky I am, as neither D nor my Dad ever encouraged my ' will leave job for my little one' blues. Had it not been for my father, I would have never even dreamt or achieved whatever little I have done so far. He was instrumental in sowing the seeds of unachievable ambitions, through my life. However, in this path, my Mom played the role of rationaliser, often too pessimistic to swallow.
Last year D was to take a seconment for 3 yrs to US and happily I quit to accompany him, for the first time. Excited, organised as ever, we had everything worked out while waiting for our L1/L2 for me visas for 4 months.... yah!!! thatz what we had to wait for a visa interview. We got our visa s in June, ready to board a flight in 10 days, when for some reason we called off the shifting project and D decided to go for a domestic role in the same company and not disturb our son with a coming back home at 13yrs.
All this while I was freaking as a SAH Mom. Initial 2 months, everyday I walked and window shopped for 2-3 hrs, till my feet ached. Then I started watching TV through the day.... till I started working part time teaching in some Mgt schools and doing work on project basis.
With D gone for his domestic posting, me and Reik tried hard to settle into a life. The three men in my life, Dad, D and Reik started pushing me hard to join work back. I had somehow got used to my lazy slowpaced life, but gathered and joined back work. Initial one month was painful. But thanks to my 9 yr old son and his immense cooperation I am back, running, happy, by God's grace.
So, I believe, motherhood is neither enhanced nor reduced, if Mom is not by the side of a child for 24 hrs. It is the bonding, the 'When' and ' How' we spend the shared time that matters rather than the ' How much'. Since I always fought for a recognition as an individual rather than a child, I have always tried to treat R, my son as an individual. This has empowered him ,with decision making ability on small little things in school or life at home.
It is our approach to raising a self reliant and resilient kid, who has feet on ground but eyes on the moon. If we succeed, he does, if we do not, yet he might in his own individual style and steam, and face the world