All the articles on this subject are so close to heart, you can relate to all of them. Yes, I can relate to one aspect of one, and then another of a second. What I mean is that, all these decisions are/were taken based on real life situations...most of which we are familiar with at some time or the other in our lives. Plus the fact that we are mothers , makes it easier to understand the feeling of the other, even if you have a different opinion.
My writing is again MY story, MY opinion..
I joined work first time after coming to Holland...I had just finished my Phd in Japan , came here to join my husband A+. We were miles apart after marriage (me in Japan, he in Netherlands) for more than a year. So as you know, the first 3 months were as colorful as the tulips here.[not that the colour is gone now!!;-) ]. I had left home for hostel when I was 19, and then left India alone when I was 25 for Japan....this made me a very independent woman...maybe this was the reason that I became very impatient to stay at home within the first 3 months [+ the weather here which is gloomy most of the time]...even though I was enjoying every bit of my new home. This impatience landed myself a job very soon but in a totally different field. I travelled a lot...learned a lot....mostly to cope with work atmosphere..was once again financially independent..made me happy.
The dizzy feeling came after 2 years!! ;-))
Travel was not possible due to pregnancy problems after 3 months.....but the medical insurance/working insurance took care of that...I stayed mostly at home..but got fully paid.
lucky me! A was born..... our lives changed...I DID NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK ANYMORE JUST THEN!!!
so I took unpaid leave for 9 months. At the end of it , the impatient me was winning again....I can blame it on my sun-sign [geminis want change.....]!! So I went back to work this time being thankfully transferred to a office close to home..
A was in a creche...by heart cried when I left him there every morning....the practical husband scolded me at times....however,things got better within a few weeks... the husband had a "I told you so" look in his eyes....
The work by this time however was SUPER BORING!!!!
So out came my resume....the search was on! Then I got this dream job as a research scientist...which was again far from home but too good (and finally in my own field) to let go.
A+ helped me to take a decision......at every step he encouraged me more.....we even decided to move houses.... I am really thankful to have him as my partner.[ have to give him this site so that he reads this !!;-)]
A was moved from one creche to another.....again a bit of getting-used-to problems...but he did fine! I work full time now....4 days in office..1 day from home when A stays at home too. i love this situation....A comes to office with me..his creche is 5 mins walk from my desk!
I did have my days of feeling-bad when I left him for the first time....but now its not that bad anymore.
And here comes a very honest sentence: "I have no guilty feeling...I dont miss A during my working hours".
Three main reasons which contribute to the above sentence are:::
1. This little person A also loves his creche now where he can play with other kids...when he gets home we(A+ and me) try to spend good time together. He does not cry when I say bye in the morning....occassionally makes unhappy faces....and and and sometimes refuses to go home in the evenings!!! can you imagine THAT??
2. I love my current work.
3. A+ encourages and supports me always. (lets say most of the times ;-))
THAT was a long post....................