Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Is the room temperature ok?
is he sweating?
Should I bathe him today in this cold weather?
Is the bottle nipple the right size??
I hope I am not hurting his neck if I carry him this way....
and so on and so forth...
the list goes on....
I used to call my mom quite often with these questions and most of the times she had the answer and at the end of it she said , "YOU will KNOW the right thing to do...if YOU feel its safe..its ok..thats the mothers instinct".
Most of the times I thought that its the "old school of thought". Offcourse, the doctor and the internet(you can find almost everything on the net these days) gives you the most scientific answers! A is almost 3 now...and the last 3 years have changed my outlook quite a bit. I have started believing strongly in my mothers words..there is a thing called MOTHERS INSTINCT!
Last week A got hurt in the creche..a heavy thing fell on his finger and he got a bruise. The creche people called me and informed me about the incident, but they also added that he was playing now normally with just a black mark and a bit of a swell...not much. I went to pick him up and he started crying. Indeed the thumb had a swell...a blue bruise...nothing spectacular. I came home and started observing that he was not using that finger at all...he was playing..happy..but not using the thumb. A+ said that its a simple bruise (like most fathers say) and I should stop worrying about it UNNECESSARILY! Upon my insisting that we take him to the emergency I was also informed that MOTHERS dont allow the son to grow up, etc etc!
But something was just not correct....and finally the practical father gave in to the over-reacting mother...
A was x-rayed and his thumb was found to be broken..............
Poor thing is in plaster now till the elbow.....
The practical A+ admitted that mothers just FEEL the thing....
We all call it MOTHERS INSTINCT.....it EXISTS...believe me.
SO, if you are a mother , your instinct will always show you the right way.......follow it..it never goes wrong.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
This post, while late is for Mother's May. It is a story of my growth as a mom. My own tribute to my wonderful mother is here...
DH loves kids and has always loved them. I never noticed them until I had my own. When I got married I declared to DH that I would never want to have a baby. Now that I read so many mommy bloggers, I find a lot of folks felt the same way.
But of course, as time went by and my biological clock ticked louder and louder, I decided to give in and have a baby. And once I made up my mind, I wanted to do it oh-so-perfectly. How naive of me to think that there was only one 'perfect' way to raise a child.
I decided to start with having a perfect pregnancy, which did not quite happen. Due to complications, poppin was premature, and overnight I was a mother to a frail 3.5 lb baby. And if you have never seen a baby that small, let me tell you - it can freak you out. Especially since no one I knew personally had ever had such a small baby.
I loved poppin from the start. I know that some moms will disagree that it happens, but it does. Maybe it was because she was so frail and did not even have the energy to cry but I felt fiercely protective and crazily in love with her from the moment she took to my breast.
I was a crazy sort of mom those first few months, feeding her round the clock, never letting her cry. I also got obsessive about milestones, always on the lookout for problems. That phase ended when at 4 months, poppin topped her weight charts and looked all set to meet the milestones of her peers.
So far it had been easy because all I had to do was stuff poppin's mouth. It was after this that I became an insecure mom. Because around this time, poppin was more interested in the world around her and she was responding to people. All people, especially DH and my mom. But not me. Having had no interest in babies before, I did not know how to coo or do baby talk. I always felt silly doing it and mostly tried to imitate my mom in the privacy of my feeding sessions.
My mom and DH were both naturals at it and managed to get poppin's first laughs, babbling, chortles, coos and smiles. I got nothing except spit up and tears. The tears were mostly mine. I did not love my baby any less but I felt more and more worthless as a mom.
I did not know how to pat her to sleep, it was my mom who did that. I never knew how to comfort her when she cried (without using the breast), DH knew it instinctively. I think that was a low point in my career as a mom. Sometime around that time, my mother went on a month long vacation to the sibling's house. And then it was just me and poppin during the day. I read tonnes of books on parenting and nervously, somehow I found my groove as a mom.
My own style, different from mom's and DH. That was when I became a condescending know-it-all mom. I was like 'My way or the highway'. When my mom came back from vacation, she was harassed by me for patting poppin to sleep. Or for carrying her a lot. Or for putting her to sleep at 6 pm in the evening. Or for asking me to feed her when poppin woke up at 2 AM. I has just gained confidence as a mom and there was no way I was giving in an inch !
This phase continued for the longest time - between poppin's 5 months to getting a year old. Sometimes, I think that there are still remnants :) Around the time poppin was 10 months old, I went back to work and was a nervous wreck when I was in office. What if my mom didn't do it exactly the way I did it? Slowly I realised that there were many other, completely acceptable ways to do it. And my mom with her years of experience, has solved many a problem that I couldn't.
And I like to think that I am now a confident, happy mom. I love poppin, I face challenges with her which I solve with the help of my mom, DH, mother-in-law and with all the advice of co-bloggers. I learnt that it really does take a village to raise a child. I think poppin senses my laid back confidence and, ahem, I have uprooted DH as the most favourite person in her world. yay !
I find it strangely appropriate that I was disappointed when I did not get a Mother's day cheesy card last year, but did not even remember Mother's day this year. When you're blessed with a loving mother and are comfortable in your own identity as a mom, it is truly Mother's day every day.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Edited: I thought I would add this based on the current comments - My husband helps me a ton, he comes home by 5:30 even though he has a software job to help me with bed time for our kids. He watches them on the weekends for hours on end so I can run errands, groceries, so on. We also have a gardener to do mowing and weeding and we have a housecleaner every 2 weeks to help. Starting this week my husband is watching the twins in the morning before he goes to work so I can work out at 6 a.m.
I love the feedback I already received would love to hear more about "things" people do that are shortcuts. I guess I want more personal time with family on the weekend than just doing chores and like suggestions for other ideas. Thanks to all for sharing!
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
As organized as I am [or thought i was] I'd made a note of all the good [and quickly filling] camps around the area, created reminders for the start of registration at my home computer and armed myself with all paperwork necessary in a binder.
You'd think with such precision I'd put the staff secretary at the White Hosue to shame, but no, right there I made a huge mistake. How good is a home computer when you don't use it?! I don't pour over it anymore checking mails, doing my documents, or browsing happy sites or shopping online . All those exciting tasks have now been shifted to the system at work. So yes, whats the point in having a reminder when it's blinking away to glory, and no one notices it?
And thats the short version of how I missed all deadlines.
Ive been kicking myself ever since I realized over the weekend, that I may for all you know be booted out of the 2 main camps that I so badly want my tweens to go. Not just coz it's good for them, but it would solve my anxiety on leaving them alone at home while I schlep myself off 20 miles to 'work' !
As if I am not miserable enough, one nice mom calls me up to say " so did you get the confirmation yet? I got mine last evening. Boy, they get filled so quickly don't they? Hope you get yours, you sent it only on Friday. Maybe in the next couple of days. Hopefully. "
Sure. I feel like a complete bumpkin now.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Thanks Sandeepa for re-inviting me to DMC. Hotmail didn’t like the invite but GMAIL did! go figure.
I have been lurking around and commenting for a little while but here is my official intro: I am Archana from Seattle, stay home mom of almost 13 month old boy and girl twins - N & A. I used to have a public blog but I got a little more personal on my blog (I didn’t blog anon) and went private! Some of you are on my private blog already and I can thank you all (Kay, Boo, Tharini) for introducing me to this wonderful space!
I went from a very busy software DINK lifestyle (dual income no kids) to this newly transformed world of motherhood. I love being a mother and it has been more enriching than anything else I have done in my life but at the same token it is the hardest undertaking of my life. I was a total spoilt brat before the babies arrived and now they are teaching a lesson or two on life! :)
I hope to contribute when I can. I do have a newbie food blog http://archanacooks.blogspot.com as I like to cook but I don't know how often I will be keeping that up! My other interests include traveling, reading, and sporting stuff. I am a certified scuba diver, love to hike, bike and even attempted surfing and skydiving in my lifetime!
I love to cook and I have visited some of the other moms' blogs and boy! am I on hallowed ground here!! I am really happy to be part of this community. See you all around!
You can visit my other world at My Taki.
Interesting Blog Article Working moms cause childhood obesity from Julie's Health Club
The debate contiues...
Disclaimer: I am a working mom too and no agendas involved, just thought it was interesting topic to discuss
It wouldn't be so bad except store bought white bread has all the wrong things - incl refined flour and high fructose corn syrup. I was ok with it once in a while, but if he's eating it consistently, I'd rather make something equivalent at home.
So my question to you all is: do you have any recipes/sources for recipes for making ultra soft bread at home? Not sweet or fruit bread but the regular sandwich bread. And, we don't use egg either, so I would need something eggless or a recipe in which I could substitute for egg! (I generally use applesauce or ripe bananas - but not all recipes are favorable for this)
Sunday, May 20, 2007
I know all the virtues of sunscreen and hurray summer is here full blast! Last year I went with Neutrogena SPF 45 for my daughter, but just last week for some reason I applied some on myself. It felt sticky and hot and unpleasant on my skin. (and yes, I did check the expiry date)And my sunscreen applied fingers happened to touch my eyes for a second and my eyes burned and burned. I am sure a 2 yr old will touch her eyes, etc while playing.
Now is this just the way all suncreens are? Any recommendation from all you other moms about which brand I should use? I have seen Coppertone. BananaBoat, Neutrogena, Aveeno, and a many other brands in the stores. Is any one brand better than others? Other than SPF is there anything I should check in a suncreen before buying?
(This post is by SJ of A Pinch of Spice. )
Friday, May 18, 2007
Have you checked the right hand column at DMC ? Scroll down and you will see I have added a section "Daily News For Moms" which is aggregated RSS feeds from some interesting parenting related sites. These feeds are frequently updated. Check them out everyday. If you have some other parenting/women/kid site that provides a daily updated content let me know I will try to add it to the list.
See your Browser Address Bar when you ar at DMC? Do you see something ? Tharini sent me an icon which she made from the “Mother” icon here and suggested I use it as a favicon. And now we have our own favicon !!!!!!!!! If you are on Firefox, you should see it. On IE I think you have to bookmark to see the favicon. Thanks Tharini, should I say Thanks Lovely Tharini ;-)
Thanks to all of you who had written in for Motherhood May. We hope to hear from the rest too…… Come on girls, share with us.
Many of the members have neither posted nor commented on any of the posts. Please let me know if you have any issues or if there’s something stopping you. We want this to be an active as well as interactive community, so please come and join by sharing your stories, your ideas, your views, anything………
Asha has something up her sleeves for June. Just wait and watch.
Tired..Tired..Tired is all I feel when I get back home.I keep stretching my day..playing..grocery shopping.cleaning...the lists goes on..and Shyam isn't a great sleep either..so it becomes even harder.
My husband is himself is overworked and does help me in every possible way.My amma is here, so I have great help as far as cooking is concerned.
Our bedroom life practically has become non-existent..since I am already so tired it hasn't been bothering me till now..But recently I was reading an article in RD about the benefits of sex, especially for men in 30's as it really helps in keeping their heart and body in good working shape. My husband has been patient ..but lately a bit put off.I don't know if it's just exhaustion or else our bodies change after having baby, my drive has been drastically reduced.Have any of you gone through this phase..any suggestions are welcome.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
I put this up at my blog, I thought I would cross-post here with the hope of more exposure...
Calling all Blogging Mothers in Bangalore! I suggested a play date to Aqua, since we're both in Bangalore, but she came up with an even better idea. A blog meet. And we would love to see who else we can round up. You are invited to this event if:
1) You are from Bangalore
2) You are a mother
3) You have a blog
4) You are social..er I mean you want to meet new people.
Wait, that sounds too clique-y. Let me change that..You are invited if:
1) You happen to be in Bangalore at the time of the meet. You don't have to be from Bangalore. Not many people who live here are, anyway :)
2) You need not be a mother, but must be able to tolerate discussions on poop, breasts and other unmentionables that mommies talk about. And it would be nice if you told us that our kids are super-smart and that we look sexy.
3) You don't have to blog, but it would be nice if you knew what a blog is.
4) You don't have to be social, we will ignore you anyways :)
Seriously, it would be great if we could all meet up. Venue and Time is up for grabs. Please email/comment on Aqua's or my space.
I vote for any feasible Sunday afternoon outing at Amoeba, Church Street. They have a huge kiddie play area above the bowling floor, and a pretty decent European style cafe (20 ft high) on the top floor.
Crossposted at my blog : http://babiesanon.blogspot.com
Monday, May 14, 2007
A few quick words about me, living in Bangkok, under the tiny thumb of my 13 month old daughter, fondly referred to as Moppet, whose daily exploits can be found at my blog called - what else! - Moppet Tales
And what do I do when I'm not kowtowing to Her Little Highness, or polluting the blogosphere with extravagant punctuation?
Nothing much, really. A former corporate type, who gave it all up to become a flunk to a different and far more demanding little boss, I am currently enjoying the luxuries (?!) of stay-at-home motherhood. Now of course, I will be adding 'spending time at the Club' to my list of daily activities : -)
Sunday, May 13, 2007
I wish all the beautiful and lovely mom's of DMC a very Happy Mother's Day
Hope you all are having a great time getting pampered today by your loved ones!
With my warmest thoughts and special wishes on this wonderful day
lots of love and hugs
And nothing else comes to mind :( I have been planning to put up a "Mother's day" post for a long time to share how and why MY mother is the best. And now I can't think of how to put all these emotions into a post. This is to SHOUT OUT TO THE WORLD that "My mom is special!! She is THE BEST!" I thank God every so often that I was born to MY parents 'coz there couldn't be any better ones out there!
And a special mention goes to S - my darling daughter who, as I explained it to her this morning, deserves all the credit for making this day super special for me because it is due to her that I get celebrated on Mother's day. Thank you darling, for being the most precious gift for me on this day and every other!
Couldn't forget J's mom now, could I? Mummy, I know J loves you very much. He just doesn't know how to put it in words. So I am saying it to you on his behalf - Love you and thank you for doing all that you did for your kids!! And from me? Thank you for giving me this wonderful life partner!
To ALL mothers out there - HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
(Note: I have also put this post up on my blog My Two Cents)
Happy Moms day to all.
A nice day to start blogging on being a mom don't you think? I chanced upon this site a week ago, and thought it would be nice to have a seaparate space to blog on my children and just on being a mom. ..and to do it with a whole lot of other moms should be fun!
So here I am.
Live in US with my husband and children. I love being mom to my 3 children. K1 -11 years old, K2 - 10 years old, and K3 - who will be 3 years old in a couple of weeks. I know! :)
I am pretty sure some of you have your eyebrows raised and some are going "what?!" - that's always the case and though initially there was a bit of discomfort on the reaction, I now am just plain amused at the 'shock value' of my motherhood. My 3rd was a surprise and what an adorable one she turned out to be. She's the darling of the family and we are enjoying our bundle every minute.
..and before you start thinking am a grand old lady, no, am in mid 30's and by the looks of it most of us seem to be just about there.
I wear many hats. Apart from juggling basketball games, Odyssey of theMind coach, Lego league mentor, Chauffeur, chef, enthusiast, motivator for my kids, I do all I can to keep myself busy.
That's all from me now, I hope to interact regularly with all you fine moms.
Have a wonderful day.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
When Asha posted the theme for May, I got straight to it. I started the post at my blog "Saheli". When I reached half way thru I was very depressed and it was too hard for me to continue. (I lost my Aai 8 yrs ago). I abruptly ended my post and well cried for a long time...
I was never close to her. I never shared anything with her. I don't know why? She wasn't very strict, in fact she was very jolly. But, I never said 'I love you' enough to her. I regret that so much. If only I had another chance... Well, this M-day(actually last week) I have made a promise to myself. I am going to be a friend to my kids. Though I do (try to do) all motherly stuff for them, I am going to be their confidant. I want them to come to me and tell me whatever they want to. They should be comfortable with me. I will tell them how much I love them and always care for them. I will be always there for them. (my tears are not very well trained, they don't know when to stop or start for that matter...)
Yeah! I know I need to take some 'writing skills' class ;)
I am not aiming for perfection in motherhood but, I want to give my 100% to be the best 'mamma' to my kids.
Happy M-day to everyone!
PS: I love you Aai and miss you very much. (I know you are watching over me...)
I posted this in my personal blog and wanted to share it here at the club:
Ann Marie Reeves Jarvis probably never dreamed of a day honoring her. I think Anna Jarvis, if she could be here today, will both be happy and sad regarding what she started. She might shake her head at the commercialization of the day she fought hard to establish, honoring her mother. She might also give an approving nod at the fact that many of us indeed take the day seriously and make our mothers feel special in what little way we can.
My first Mother's Day as a new mom a couple of years ago with a newborn is a blur. I felt awkward. But, I was grateful as well, as my mom was with me to help with my post-partum recovery, and we talked about her days with a newborn and mine.
For the first time then, I realized what it must have been for her to raise her two kids. Until we come a full circle, we don't realize what it must have taken for our moms to bring us into this world, what fears and hopes they had, and even something as profound as how did they decide to pick a name for us and so on... When I pester her about anecdotes from my childhood, she says, "oh you were such a quiet girl, always entertaining yourself and not bothering me much..". " i have no idea how you grew up to be such a wonderful lady..." if you could only see the twinkle and suppressed smile when she tries to say this with a straight face...
Amma, I know I have always made little cards for you to show how I feel - too bad there were more "I am Sorry..." cards than "Thank You" cards until I grew out of my teens...
I remember the time I had chicken pox, you would brush me with neem leaves and read Les Miserables (abridged), my first introduction to Jean Valjean... I remember your strict "disciplinarian" style when I was out of line... I remember not liking my school days much when you would not bail me out of "punishments" for minor infractions, i remember thinking you must hate me, else, being my teacher in school, why would you not show any leniency, why would you not go out of your way to make sure my school days were a breeze as "the teacher's daughter"? My warped teenage mind refused to be objective...
Is it any wonder that I am mirroring you now? You sewed most of my clothes, you had so many crafts interests, even to this day you are teaching yourself jewelry-making and zardosi embroidery so you can make wonderful gifts for your granddaughter...
Is it silly that even today, when I stress about a little tiff at work, or when I can't seem to cope with many things, I run to you - well, I simply pick up the phone and dump it all on you. You patiently listen, then say just the right soothing words and I feel my worries are lifted away... Not many have that gift, Amma, and I sincerely hope I have it in me to hug Ana's worries away as she grows up.
I know I send you cards for every little occasion, even send you a card just because... the physical distance that separates us now makes it difficult for me to give you a hug when I remember the times you have said a simple word to make my worries melt away... cards and words are my only resort now to let you know how grateful I am to have a Mother like you...
Don't criticize a (wo)man until you have walked in h(er)is shoes, they say... And I won't.
Amma, Happy Mother's Day! and Thank You for all that you do for me.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Little S knows all about Mothers Day. By "about" I don’t mean the history or the Hall Mark-ing of it but she knows there is a day like this when you are supposed to give your Mom cards etc. before you throw the usual tantrum. When she was 16 months, it was my first Mother's Day as a Mom and D took her to get me a card and Mom’s Day gift. I got a funny card with a mirror and a dangly sparkly kind of bracelet in some abstract color which is not something I take to wearing. When I asked D why he got that thing, he said because S pointed it out!!! So last year I took it upon myself to get me something sensible crediting the money spent and joy of gift giving to D of course. The most precious thing though was the card little S made in school for Mother’s day.
Since S is a 3 year old now with much more sense and I am a lover of good gifts, I was dreaming that maybe she will point out to the dazzling ruby and diamond bracelet or the Coach handbag at Macy’s when D takes her to buy the Mom’s Day gift instead of pointing to some arbitrary stuff .
So yesterday I told S with a lot of enthu – “You know Mothers Day is this month”
She said – “Oh when is it?” (In Bengali she said “Kobe re?” with the right inflection)
So I showed her the calendar and the day and asked her – “What do you want to do on the day?”
She flung her small soft arms around me and said “I want to hug you” !!!
Holding her tightly the commercialized Mom in me said “ What else ?”
She said “ It will be your holiday so you won’t have work and I want to sit in your lap all day”
I was ashamed, yeah downright ashamed. While I was thinking of gifts all this tiny creature wanted was to love me and be with me. Amidst all the days work its true that I don't always get time to be just with her. So even when I am physically around and it may seem I am spending time with her, I am multitasking and feeding her while chopping veggies or sneaking a peek at the blogs while talking to her. I don't really just sit with her for long. Even if I do for a little while I am prone to say " Chal chal anek kaj ache" (Let's get going I have lots to do). Soon she will grow up and this is not what she will want from me. So as long as she asks for it maybe I should set aside my chores and just sit and enjoy and smell the freshness of her innocence. (Ok it may not work out as beautiful as it sounds because this 3 year old is an active imp and before long you may see me panting and gasping for air, a far cry from "smelling innocence" but at least I should make an effort)
I was never a fan of Valentines Day, but I liked Mothers Day since even being far I would send my Mother small gifts which I thought showed my love for her and it also meant “one more occasion” to get some loot for myself. But maybe even all my Mom wanted was just to be with me (or maybe she preferred the gifts which were more useful than the adult me , I never asked)
So between my Mother and my little daughter was I the one caught in the Hall Mark warp, totally discounting the actual essence of the day and concentrating on the screaming Mothers Day Sale banners instead.
To change my attitude this year I asked D to not get me a gift for Mother's Day, instead if the weather is good we will pack a lunch and have a "picnic" somewhere and enjoy the day as it comes
(D if you are reading this, you can give me gift on all other occasions, do not take this to your benefit. I am thinking of the child here remember !!!)
Happy Mother's Day to my Ma who has always been a good friend, has helped me through all my growing years including my studies, stood by me when I wanted to take up job in another city, stood by me in most of my life's decisions and done for me a lot more that I can ever imagine doing for her. I really feel bad that being far I am not really able to do for her as I should have as a grown up daughter in their day to day life. But she doesn't complain and neither expects anything from me. Hope to be a similar mother for S to be happy in her happiness and not expect much....
Happy Mothers Day to my Ma-in-law who has been very good to me
Happy Mothers Day to myself and to all you Moms
(This post shared with Bong Mom's CookBook)
I am reproducing this post from my blog click here.
Every time i start writing a post i think a lot and put a little in the post in-order to make it short and simple.And sometimes i start eating up some words and other times my daughter just deletes the entire content i wrote.I will get very angry but when i look at her face which has a smile on it as the answer for my angry question i melt like ice.Though i am short tempered i make sure it doesn't hurt her.May be this is the motherly feeling i have deep inside me.But when it comes to my Mom i used to shout on top of the world Ooh.......yes now u r telling me what i should do or eat,How i should be.May be lot of girls do this at the young age when we r growing up and don't like their old stereotype lectures,or culture bothered discussions.whatever the reason may be i am sure once in a life we would have done that.But Moms r like ice who just try hard to make us understand what's good whats bad so that they can protect us as far as they can.which we r experiencing right now even my daughter is just 2 yr old i can understand my Moms feelings."ONLY A MOTHER CAN UNDERSTAND A MOTHER"--------This saying is 100% true.But when we get to know the value of moms in our life we r deep into ur relations and don't find time for them living so far from them.Is this stay here worth it.When the time is right we don't have them at ur side.We do call them and wish them but can't express our heart out what we feel or how we feel behind the conversations of our children, hubby dear and all comes over the phone and most of all these little kids occupy larger place than us,but not the actual thing we want to talk.I still remember the days when i am getting ready to school/college my mom and dad used to feed my breakfast doing rounds and pampering to eat little more.i can count n fingers the days i ate myself,the sleepless nights they have spent when we r ill.when we r in stage to help them we r so far away and can reach them in a instance.But hats-off to this technology which is far more better than their days.Now i just say why don't u both quit ur jobs as we both r settled but forget the fact if they do that they feel much lonely even they have their grand kids around the life they r leading from my birth will just be gone in 1sec.what is the tribute we r giving to them after the long journey.May be we r not understanding our parents.yha we can't help anything.
Happy Mother's Day Mom.................I love u........I want a bearhug from u.
Thank you very much for the welcome messages.Shyam isn't feeling too well for past 2 days..Cough & cold is bothering him too much..no appetite and is almost living on "MILO PAL", (chocolate horlicks with milk).I did try giving him cold medicines, but they make him drowsy and he is getting even more crankier, troubling my amma !!!
Atleast today is Friday, I will be able to take care of him once I get back.Please can you suggest any good remedies that will help to calm & pacify him.
Couple of days later, I got an invite that looked like this:
The Blogger user Sandeepa(Bong Mom's CookBook/DesiMomzClub) has invited you to contribute to the private blog: Desi Momz Club.
To contribute to this blog, visit:
You'll need to sign in with a Google Account to confirm the invitation and start posting to this blog. If you don't have a Google Account yet, we'll show you how to get one in minutes.
If you are already a Blogger user, please note that this blog uses the new version of Blogger. To post to Sandeepa(Bong Mom's CookBook/DesiMomzClub)'s blog, you will access this new version with a Google account, instead of your Blogger account.After you click on the link, you get to add posts to this blog. I hope I explained the process properly, other members please feel free to correct me. Another thing to check for is your spam filter settings, Sandeepa's automatic invitation might have been blocked. Google is a bit notorious that way... Hope this helps !
I am Shweta , working mom of 2 yr old Shyam.We recently moved to Toronto, Canada from US.I came across this site by chance and I am really glad I discovered it.I enjoy reading all of your view points & comments.I hope I will be able to add some value to your community.
Happy Mother's Day !!
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Pioneers at the Breakfast Table
It's the gasp that gets your goat. The other day I was yawning down the stairs, yet to indulge in the first sip of Java, when I realized that my two daughters were whispering and snickering. One's a smart-alecky fourteen, the other, at ten, is just beginning to grow those claws.
"What?" I bark, weaving my way through the kitchen floor. Every morning, the coffee percolator seems to be moving further away from my grasping hands.
Another snigger, a snort of suppressed laughter and widely innocent eyes. I ran my hand over the remaining strands of hair. I was reasonably sure no horns were poking out through my scalp. I distinctly recall brushing, flossing and then rinsing out my mouth. Though my memory was not knife-sharp, some things couldn't be overlooked. I looked southwards quickly. Yes, thank God, I did remember to pull up my pj's before coming down to the kitchen.
With a sigh, I plugged in the joy-giving machine and leaned forward with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.
"So, will you two tell me what's the big deal?"
The bubbling of the coffee always made me feel expansive. I could see myself sitting down with these two at the breakfast table and spending quality time with them. I read somewhere it's very important to do so. Otherwise they may, at some later stage in life when you've become famous, suddenly start giving interviews to the tabloids. A brief horrific vision flashed before my eyes: a tabloid screaming with "I was a lonely unloved child" headline.
Enid Blyton's children did it, as did a previous President's daughter. I'm not saying I could be either of the two. But in these decadent days, it's best to be prepared for any eventuality.
"Mom, were Barbies around when you were a child?"
I raised my eyebrows while pouring out the coffee. My favourite mug philosophically accepted another layer of the staining liquid.
I pondered a while, sipping and inhaling at the same time. Then I decided that honesty is the basis of all relationships that matter.
"Er no, not exactly. You see, Barbie dolls are a very recent phenomenon. We used to play with rag dolls…"
A shriek of laughter jolted me badly.
"Rag dolls, oh my God, you poor things!" Ritu, my youngest offspring splutters into her milk and cheerios.
A dim realization crept up on me that it wasn't sympathy she was offering.
"What's so funny about rag dolls?" I ask belligerently.
Sipping the Java gives me a shot that gallops through my sleepy synapses. Curling my lips in disdain, I elaborated, "You people can't even imagine how much fun rag dolls were. For one, you could bend them any way you wanted to. Even if your little brother decided he didn't think arms ought to fall straight, it was ok with the doll. She still smiled and accommodated him. Nowadays, these delicate dolls, one twist and a body part snaps. Pah!"
Mimi, the older one piped in, "We're, like, doing this Pioneer thing at school? It's really cool what you guys played with and stuff."
"Pioneers?" I screamed in horror. "You youngsters have no idea about history timelines. Pioneers were way back, don't you know that?"
My heart was exceeding the pace it raced by during a Richard Gere movie. Something fundamental in me had been touched.
"Aw, cool it, mom! Which year were you born anyway?"
This from the infant whose dirty diapers I willingly changed.
Taking a deep breath, I announced shyly, "It was…1966."
Like I told you, the gasp was the killer.
Bio - Moushumi Chakrabarty is the author of 'Fighting for Women's Rights: The Extraordinary Adventures of Anna Leonowens'. She lives with her family in Ontario, Canada, as well as on http://www.moushumichakrabarty.com/.
This will be a really short introduction since I have 80+ awesome posts to catch up at this cool blog hangout :-) Thanks Sandeepa for getting me in so quickly, this is a fantastic forum !
About me, I am a first time mom to a beautiful 20 month old girl. I live with Dear Hubby (DH) in my hometown, Bangalore (India). When I'm not spending time with family and friends, you can find me curled up with a book or with a laptop blogging, while listening to old hindi music.
Currently, I am reading an old bestseller - Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom. It's a beautiful real life story of life lessons from a dying professor to his old student. I'd like to leave you with one of the many beautiful quotes from this book..
"Whenever people ask me about having children or not having children, I never tell them what to do", Morrie says now, looking at a photo of his oldest son. "I simply say, 'There is no experience like having children. That's all. There is no substitute for it. You cannot do it with a friend. You cannot do it with a lover. If you want that experience of having complete responsibility of another human being, and to learn to love and bond in the deepest way, then you should have children".
See you around !
I don't want to say too much.....but for me, Mother's day didn't mean that much to me until I became one four years ago...and I have realized that the greatest and the purest love of all is between a parent and a child. Nothing else comes even close.
I wish you ALL a Happy Mother's day and especially to my Stepmother( I HATE that word)- Sudha, who is a Godsend,and treats my children as her own, my DaxaFoi- my aunt who was our pillar, she moved her family from England to take care of us all during our rough times,and of course, to my mother in law, Padma, who, treats me like a daughter than a "bahu" of the house.
Take care of yourselves for your children, and your mother figures in your lives. This life is too short for Petty differences- it really is.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
With respect to my own motherhood, I tried to do a bollywood style flashback and visualize if there were really any spectacular moments that stood out the last five years in fulfilling my role as a mother. I've been thinking about it REAL hard the last one week, and I should say there are hardly any that I can take any credit for in my role as a mother.
As a mother of two little girls , to me, I am taking baby steps with my own motherhood, and it is evolving at every stage - to learn to bring my family as the centerpiece of my attention and focus. As much as I enjoy the fact that I give my children my maximum time and attention, there are also moments when I feel anxious about a few issues and primarily these
1)not being able to pursue a career outside of home and do justice to my gradschool education, which I had pursued with so many dreams. Just a matter of time and taking it easy, but life takes interesting turns for a few and for me interesting moves - which have really helped my persepectives grow!
2) doing the mundane chores that don't involve spending time with my kids but nevertheless have to be done to run a family - that still is a real big challenge to me, and doesn't come naturally at all! ( I know I'm totally the minority club person here - there have been many a night I just walk out of the kitchen like a kid would do after dinner without loading up the dishwasher or cleaning up the floor/countertop - how gross is that - but hey - you are welcome to my swamp anytime unlike shrek's!! )
3) I may sound a little selfish here - to get time for myself to do little things alone- take a walk, read a book sitting alone, do yoga etc. etc. really some quiet time!
Anyways - those are my personal issues that I need to learn how to tackle better, and get clarity on. I am working hard at those. But there's something that I want to think about seriously this mother's day - as in - I want to make some vows this mother's day and keep 'em up, particularly after I move to my new place this summer - Here they are in general - Work toward serenity, and tranquility in mind and space!! (Please don't forget to remind me about this and I will get to it once I settle down - vows evaporate easy from memory,don't they?)
Coming to my mother's life and reflecting upon my relationship with her, there are so many, so many positive memories with her and I look forward to lot more of those. But having said that, there have also been tons of those "get irritated with your mother at the drop of a hat" kind of relationship with her and still is at times. Our relationship has evolved, and we don't judge each other as much as we used to before - like I would question every conservative tradition of hers, and she would look down upon me for NOT being a "stereotypical married woman who would wear mangalsutra, bindi etc.." ( she was never imposing - thanks to my dad's liberal outlook - but sometimes she can be really annoying with her "follow traditions" kind of thinking - she has changed a lot or rather washed her hands off me?...)
Coming to the positives, I have deeply admired my mother for her optimism, energy, and common sense. She is not that highly educated but she is such a confident woman and fun to be around! We discuss social issues, and poltiics and she will have some interesting points to make most of the time! We joke about relatives (:-))) and at times, gossip to the point that I start feeling disgusted with myself and my mother!! All this we got to do during her trips to the US - thanks to my staying at home last year - we caught up on SO many family stories that I would have never heard! Really those are the recent highlight moments for me with respect to my relationship with her mother! :-) She is so enterprising and creative in and out of the kitchen and just a lovely,lovely person with a gleaming smile!
After all those boring personal stories, here's something I wanted to share as a general point as to what I think about my own motherhood - I am sure I am going to ramble at explaining this and I don't know if I am going to make sense - here I go in any case -
I'm sure we all have seen those gifts that people pack in those nested boxes and bury the "real" gift in the smallest box where you have to keep unwrapping box after box, and you know, there's some box with the gift hiding in there - usually the last one - that has the real gift...You are excited about opening each box and keep working hard at it. It is fun, yet you also think "Why did they have to make it so hard ?" That's how I've been feeling about my own motherhood and parenting in general! Each stage is like opening a box (sometimes a pandora's box too hiding inside somewhere!) Lots of anxieties and hardwork at each step in the process, while at the same time knowing very well you're working toward something positive and meaningful. You know it is all for a good cause, and the gift of knowing in the end you've done a good job of raising good children is more precious than any gift you would ever receive in any box! (that doesn't mean I don't get gifts this mother's day - I actually got mine already!!! :-))
That's it from me! Have a great mother's day, and have a wonderful weekend!
is like a garden
for all to share,
With tender, growing blossoms
that thrive on love
the flowers are gathered
for a very special day,
a bright and beautiful
by Mary Loberg
This is one of my favorite poems describing a family and what it means to have a family. I got it on a beautiful card last year from my son!
I'll be celebrating Mother's Day for a the fifth time this Sunday!
However, it is particularly this year that I am really taking this actively in. Why? Well probably this year my son is also old enough to understand what each individual parent can offer him. As a mommy my love, affection and provisions for my son are different as those to what his daddy gives him. Sure we both are very eager about his well being and welfare and always have his best interests in minds. But each parent provides differently for their child.
This year I too am also understanding what it meant for my mum to raise me. I may not have been the easiest of kids to raise but I think she did a wonderful job. I am seeing myself mirror in Soeren in so many situations, that makes me open my eyes as to the efforts my own mother put in raising me.
All this made me curious as to where Mother's Day tradition actually originated from. So, began my little research. I wanted to share this with you as I know there are many mommies out there reading this today. Instead of gift ideas and card ideas, I thought it would be nice to go back to the roots and see where this tradition came from.
There really is a history to Mother's Day and it is not something invented in the meeting rooms of card manufacturer's!
Tributes to mothers can be traced back to ancient Greek times when their annual spring festival dedicated to the mother of many deities, Rhea, was celebrated. The ancient Romans made offerings to their Great Mother of Gods, Cybele. In the 1600's, England celebrated a day called "Mothering Sunday", which is celebrated on the 4th Sunday of Lent and honored the mothers of England. Mother's Day in England today is still celebrated on this day.
In the United States, Mother's Day actually started approximately 150 years ago, when Anna Jarvis, an Appalachian homemaker, organized a day to raise awareness of poor health conditions in her community. She believed this cause would be best advocated by mothers and called it "Mother's Work Day."
When Anna Jarvis died in 1905, her daughter, Anna Marie Jarvis, began a campaign to memorialize the life work of her mother. Anna is said to have remembered a Sunday school lesson that her mother gave in which she said,
"I hope and pray that someone, sometime, will found a memorial mother's day. There are many days for men, but none for mothers."
Anna lobbied her cause to prominent businessmen and politicians including Presidents Taft and Roosevelt to support her campaign to create a special day to honor mothers. In 1908, one of the first services was organized to celebrate Anna's mother in her church in West Virginia. Anna handed out her mother's favorite flowers to the attending guests - white carnations. In 1914 Anna's hard work paid off when Woodrow Wilson signed a bill recognizing Mother's Day as a national holiday.
Initially, people celebrated Mother's Day by attending church, writing letters to their mothers, and eventually, by sending cards, presents, and flowers. With the increasing gift-giving activity associated with Mother's Day, Anna Jarvis became enraged. It was her belief that the day's sentiment was being sacrificed at the expense of greed and profit. She even filed a lawsuit to a Mother's Day festival. Before her death in 1948, Jarvis is said to have confessed that she regretted ever starting the mother's day tradition.
Today, Mother's Day has flourished all over the world. In fact, many countries have their own specific day where Mother's Day is celebrated. Sons and daughters take advantage of this day to honor and to express appreciation of their mothers.
You will find the original post with photo and resources here.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
(The title refers to the airlines, not the beer!)
My recent India trip was hectic and we were shuttling between cities frequently. One such shuttle was made on Kingfisher Airlines (KA). I hesitated a lot before buying our tickets. After all, these guys had made their money selling...beer. So when they served 'drinks' on board, what exactly would be in them? Did the pilot also get free 'drinks'?! I wasn't too happy about the price either. Rs 3K for one way between Hyderabad and Bangalore. The same route for which we had paid Rs 1.5K on the way in, on a different airline.
Well, there was not much room for my naive worries to influence our decision; it was only 5 days to the trip and no other airline was available for the Sunday night we wanted to fly.
So laden with doubt...and 6 odd pieces of oversized bags and a squirmy toddler, my brother, mom and I headed for the airport.
As soon as we pulled into the departures curb, a uniformed staff from KA walked over with a baggage cart and helped us load the luggage (which, btw, included a plastic bag stuffed with baby stuff! And which my 20-something-I'm-a-cool-dude brother refused to be associated with!) The staff then wheeled our cart, lifted our heavy bags through the security scanner and led us to the check in counter. So far, full points for KA - for helping with the baggage. If I were traveling alone with the kid, this is exactly what I would have needed.
Check in was quick and courteous. Boarding was on time and somebody had mercy on the toddler family and we were given priority seating. Ok, nothing great there - all airlines I've been on give kids first preference in boarding.
We entered the aircraft...and that's when the wow factor kicked in! The plane was neat - the decor was white on wood laminate and bright red cushions, err, seats. There was ample leg room to walk out without tripping over your neighbor. Each seat had its own TV screen. There were at least half a dozen video channels and many audio ones, and here's the best part, one video channel was exclusively dedicated to kids TV!! No, not even to the 10 year old kids - but really young kids, like my toddler. Wow! That is so thoughtful! Why don't the long distance airlines do that???
The plane took off on time and soon after, everyone was given a welcome packet, followed by a light dinner. Full points for punctuality and service.
The restless toddler was put to ease with Thomas Train, then Barney on the kid channel. Even the passenger in front of us who was talking 'investment' and 'strategy' a few minutes ago was tuned in to Barney. My parental brain checked him off as a dad. To a toddler, no doubt. Who else can appreciate the purple dinosaur so much?!
The flight was quick, flying time was barely 35 minutes, and landing was right on time. Overall, the most pleasant airplane trip ever.
This is definitely the most kid-friendly airline to fly. Totally worth the extra expense.
I have flown a dozen different international airlines, but this was by far the most comfortable trip and for the very first time, I was actually sad that the flight ended so soon. I mean, I hadn't even pressed all the buttons for the audio channels yet!!!
note: Have to put this in for the skeptics - neither me nor my family is affiliated with Kingfisher in any way - other than as full-fare paying customers.
note note: Have to put this in for myself - Kingfisher, if you're reading this, you know where to send the royalty check. Make sure it is addressed to Kodi space Meow. Thank you.
Recently joined the group and wanted to say a quick hello to everyone.
A bit about me: I'm a proud mother of two. My son, J, is 11 (but going on 15) and daughter, A is 6.We (kids, hubby & me) live in the Bay Area, CA with our 1yr old cat.
Though I work full-time, my work hours are fortunately very flexible. This allows me to play an active role in the school PTA and also allows me to volunteer a lot in the school activities. Additionally, I love to cook and am an avid reader. Nowadays my daughter and i have been doing a lot of craft projects, be it soap making,stencilling, fabric painting etc.
My plate is full and my cup runneth over!
I believe in living life to the fullest and in making every moment count.
Parenting is not an easy task anywhere in the world. But when you live far away from home (India) you rely on our own instincts, on the wisdom of your parents and grandparents, and most importantly the support of your peers.I look forward to interacting with you all in the future. (Is Da Mama, Ashaji, listening?)
Why ? Does this make the Mom happy ? Does CNN pay Moms (who are not CNN employees) the hefty salary ? Do people appreciate Moms more because CNN has come up with this ? --- NO
So why this ? Who cares ? Why the need to prove to the society the worth of a "stay at home Mom" or "Staying partly at home Mom"? If the society does not understand to the hell with it.
It's my choice. When I decided to take a break from work many wondered aloud that maybe it wasn't right. People don't seem convinced that I am not particulary worried about my career right now and am happy with my reduced stress job and my daughter is more important. If I tell them I am perfectly capable and am professionally qualified with an Engg. degree followed by a Masters in the US they think there is something wrong with me. They tell me its important that 2 people earn to live a luxurious lifestyle. I tell this is fine with me, I need not take my daughter on a Disney Cruise or buy her expensive gifts. Thats not what a little 3 year old wants
When my colleague left her job after her 6 month old became sick at the daycare some thought she was the kind who always "worried" and so this was best for her not because the baby needed the Mother, no, but because the Mother was the "worrying" kind !!!
If a Mother decides to go back to work and handle work and home it's her choice again. CNN coming up with some arbit number will neither help her manage better nor will it soothe her separation anxiety.
So why prove to people who don't understand. But if CNN wants to pay I would gladly oblige and would hire a full time nanny. Oh but wait...if my nanny is a Mom, CNN pays her too !!!
Quantifying a Mother's worth ... I say it's absurd !!!
Monday, May 7, 2007
"All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother"
- Abraham Lincoln quotes
Every mom is a super mom. My mom was there for me and my sis all the times. All that we are today is because of her. She is everything for us.
There are so many things to tell about her and to write, she is the best in everything and a role model for us. She is a wonderful writer (many of her articles and stories are published in magazines), also she writes articles for Bakthi Magazine (Devotional articles) an artist her paintings and sketches mesmerize us. My sis stored all them carefully. God has gifted her beautiful voice and she sang for AIR few times. She is soft spoken person and never hurts anyone. I have so many things to write about her but all that I can say is “MOM” you rock. She wrote lullabies for my lil one for cradle ceremony and poem on him.
"Happy Mothers Day to all the mom's".
Picture courtesy from Hallmark
Happy Mothers day to all of us!
All the posts related to this topic are so touching...actually we can relate to all the incidents...that makes it so much more touching...
my few lines on this.......
One thing which came to my mind immediately after "A" was born was "I will never ever say anything against my mother from now on!!"
My mom did not work..so we(me and my brother) had a "full time " mother. So when we came home , ma was always there. She scolded us quite often, even thrashings were not rare.
[she now admits that her patience level is low! ;-)) ]
She was very strict on things like playing outside in the evenings till dark.
1. "shondher aage bari ashbe..amake jeno daak te na hoy [come home before dark...dont let me call you]"
2. "Chitrahaar dekhar boyosh hole ami nijei tomader dakbo [when your age is right for watching chitrahaar, I will call you myself]"
3. "Thalay jeno khabar pore na thake [ no leftovers on the plate!!]"
These words are so deeply embedded in my head now...that even while I write them...i can almost HEAR them...believe me!!!
At that point of time...it was almost like having a "cruel" mother....especially when the next day at school quite a few of my friends started discussing the chitrahaar, I felt so stupid and dumb!!
always thought how "lucky"those friends were to have a mother like that!!
With age and maturity, I came to understand that all these things which appeared "cruel and unnecessary" at that point, made me what I am today...and I am thankful for that!
Today, specially after I became a mom:
I feel the closest to her!
I can justify every action of hers .
All those thrashings/scoldings make sense.
Can really feel the difficulties she faced bringing us up!
Can really recognise and relate to all she did/does!
Miss the "small" things like massaging oil in my hair every saturday night....
....the list can just go on and on and on......
One very very important thing which she said was,[I realised the meaning/importance much later ]
"if a child is good, everyone says its MR. X's son/daughter, if the child is bad its always Mrs. Y's fault"...
......which is so so very true....even to this day!
Happy mothers day!!
Saturday, May 5, 2007
'Mom' the word is enough to invoke happiness. I was always close to my mom, I don't have sisters nor do I have cousin sisters my age, so my mom was also my friend. She gave me the courage to pursue and explore what I wanted. One thing that is a constant in my life is I know she will always be there for me. This thought is enough to sustain me through some trying times (real or imagined).
Now I look at my relationship with my daughters and hope they will feel the same way as I do. Here is an incident that gives me strong hope that it will be that way....
Me as a Mom
Reading posts by Saraswathi, Tharini and comment by Asha I am literally on the side of the fence your moms are meaning my daughter is very close to her dad. I can assure you that does not make me feel bad or sad it is special to watch that kind of bond from up close. From the moment she was born, he was the first one to hold her (see I had a C-Section) so it took me a full half-day before I could get anywhere near her (I started with a kind of disadvantage in the competition just kidding...), even from month one, when he came home from work he got a special smile from her. She shared and still does share her inner most thoughts with him. (His advice to me you should stop talking to make her talk to you!) On a whim they would grab their sleeping bags to go watch stars laying in the backyard. Tucking her in bed, Bed time stories were all things he does. They seem to be dancing to the same music. He is a lot more patient than I ever will be. Even when he is absolutely busy he finds time to play and spend time with her.
On the other hand me and her always have arguments for some strange reason we never seem eye to eye. Even simple things like choosing a short sleeve shirt or long sleeve shirt is a war in itself.
Anyway it is not Father's Day why am I singing Dad' praises? So one day I had to go on a trip to the West Coast for a week. My thoughts were the oldest will be fine, she is daddy's girl anyway and probably would be happy to get me of her case for a few days and I was worried about the younger one who still needed me. The first morning I get a phone call from dear daughter saying good morning and how much she missed me. It was about 4.30AM and did not give it much thought. The five days I was there I always got a wakeup call from DD.
I came home and was surprised to hear from Daddy dearest that every morning she got up she had tears in her eyes reciting how much she missed our morning routine of getting ready, eating breakfast and the other minute things I never pay attention to and she remembered and missed them and the phone calls were what made her happy. I was even more surprised to hear same thing from her friend's mom who said she had tears in her eyes when she left for school saying she missed MOM.
The warm fuzzy feeling that spread through me is hard to put into words. As for daddy dearest I thing he was kind of surprised by the whole thing but he won't openly admit it.
The bond that a child shares with MOM is always SPECIAL. You may never see eye to eye, the relationship is rocky and hard but that bond will be there no matter what and it is STRONG.
Happy Mother's Day Everybody!
Friday, May 4, 2007
She has been a homemaker and has not had the opportunity to work outside of home, even though she has a Bachelor's degree. I wish she had though, as it would have done wonders to her self-confidence. For purely selfish reasons, as a young kid I was glad that she did not go to work. She was always there when we came home from school, keeping a snack ready for us to eat. Since my school was two streets away from home, I used to come home for lunch too and therefore had fresh home made food at every meal time. She has been socially active though, being a member of various community clubs. She was also in the Governing Council of a college and has kept herself busy with various activities. She is always there when anyone needs advice or help. In fact, even after I moved out of the house, my friends would come over just to talk to her.
She is practical, sensible and has a purity of heart unmatched by anyone I personally know. She can sew, knit, crochet and cooks like a dream! In short, she is Super Mom and I could not be prouder!
Who taught my infant lips to pray,
To love God's holy word and day,
And walk in wisdom's pleasant way?
And can I ever cease to be
Affectionate and kind to thee
Who wast so very kind to me-
(Excerpts from "My Mother", a beautiful poem by Jane Taylor)
This Mother's Day, my mother is right here by my side. I don't know after how many years this has come about. I don't even remember the last time we spent this day together, simply because there was no special memory for it. In all the years that I spent with my parents, I never really knew of the tradition of Mother's Day. It came to my notice only the year that I was married, thanks to all the media hype. And even then, I haughtily brushed it off as a new fangled western notion. After all, I loved my mother, I cherished her and I certainly didn't need just one particular day earmarked for the purpose. So another couple of years went by unnoticed.
There were times when my mother would ask me on a long distance call..."Aren't you going to wish me for Mother's Day?" And I'd quickly mumble 'Happy Mother's Day' for her benefit and then proceed to expostulate on how it is not part of our culture and tradition etc. She'd quietly chuckle and leave it at that.
Now we all know what usually follows next; how your own metamorphosis into motherhood makes you look at everything in a new light. And especially at the person who brought you forth to this experience. Well...in my case, it wasn't quite like that. I loved my Mom just as much as I ever did but I don't particularly remember overflowing with sentiment after embracing my own role as one.
Its a little complicated. My relationship with her is complicated. We were never particularly close as I grew up. My father was the epicenter of my life and my affections. He is a vibrant, extroverted, extremely intelligent, ruthlessly honest man, with whom I had the most natural and effortless chemistry. And it was hard to compete with that I guess. And my mother never tried. She is too simple a person. And very complicated in all her simplicity. She is straight as an arrow and yet you cannot guess easily at her thoughts or sense her emotions.
Even now as I write this, I cannot quite put my finger on what it is about her that I still don't get. I guess her upbringing has a lot to do with it. She grew up in a very rigid atmosphere, with very little independence and scope for self confidence. As a result, she is always a little insecure. Nevertheless, she was a working woman all her life and bold in so many ways in stepping out into the world. And yet, she could never stand her own in the midst of the various in-laws who've given her a hard time, and has lived her life in constant fear of their approbation or otherwise. Now if there is one thing I'd wish for from God, it is for her to live for herself. Without worrying about what others are going to say and think. Yet, despite the hold all these external influences have on her state of mind, she remains a stoic. [I said she was complicated, didn't I? :-)]
There have been times...many a times...when I have wished for a different sort of package in my mother...the kind who could have been my best friend, who could have talked about books and music with me, and so many other things...but as I sit down today and consciously think about her in lieu of writing this post, I realise something. This one thing that I have missed all along. That its not important to have the perfect kind of mother...the mother of all ideals. The crux of the matter is this...the kind of mother you have is the kind of mother you need. She comes as a gift to you from the divine authority...exactly moulded to your true inner needs, to help you self-actualise in this given life. She cannot be perfect because you cannot be perfect. But together, along with all the stumbling mistakes, you will both do some form of justice to your roles.
" The real religion of the world comes from women – from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms."
Now I don't know if I ever will get around to sharing this with her, because I am not quite sure if she will understand this. What I know instead is...whether it is in the confines of my heart, or through a simple hug every now and then, or a special gift, I love her, and always will. And for the simple reason that however hyped it may seem...it is occasions like this that give you the chance to stop and think. And feel and do. And confer love and gladden a heart. I know this now, because it would make me happy to be thought of as a mother by my children and to be made to feel special by them. Its not just about one single day. Its about love. The love that is consistent and steady but needs some upliftment and richness every once in a while to stand out...to break the mould of routine and sameness and be elevated to the annals of cherished memories. I hope I can always give my mother that!
Thursday, May 3, 2007
I have so many things to say and so much to write. But sometimes it is not the length of the words but small and simple expressions which state your mind and thoughts.
On this week of celebrating motherhood I am expressing my thoughts through this picture from the book that my 3 year old daughter M gifted me last year (then 2 years).
Happy Mother's Day
Amma.........Mommy.......Mama...Ma........whatever language it may be we hear the same sound.It's very rhythmic.
Motherhood is a blissful experience that god showered on me.What can i say it actually changed me from a carefree person to a responsible one.I feel being mother changes a lot in the way of thinking,behaving,taking the responsibilities and maybe everything in life revolves only around little one's.we think about them in whatever decision we make.
Ya when she was born we r so afraid to hold her in our hands as she is so tiny and i felt is this real or a dream and finally ya its not a dream.I forgot the pain of my stitches they didn't bother me allot in the hurry to take her near me.I wanted to be near her and just look at her.
she is cute,
she is brittle,
she is wonderful,
she is the little angel,
she just walked into my life,
spreading the brightness of her laugh all over .
This is what i feel after having a baby only a mother can know about a mother.
We sheid our children from all the evil.we stand before it.
Coming to my Mom:My momma is the best.
Coming from a small village.She is well educated she was the first one to go so far in that village and next my aunt(pinni) my mom's sis also graduated . I say both my parents worked hard to make me and my brother what we r now.Hats off mom and dad.
She is a school teacher who moulded me into this person if she is not there i am not.
I remember those days i used to quarrel with her regarding studies,food,hair do,clothing almost everything but when we look back we have a hearty laugh.My mom says u changed a lot.ya i am a stubborn,straight headed girl.who wants to decide what she wants to wear or do which my mom does that for so many years .i didn't like her involvement then.i used to ask now u tell me what i should do.Yes i do have changed a lot.After my daughter came into the world.
But now i consult her before doing most of the things.I am what i am because of my mom and dad.Even my daughter when i am pregnant she cared a lot.She was there in every moment of my life.But i am not there to care for her.Can i even do half of what she has done to me.i would say i don't know.But i will try.Even my mom says the same.
I describe my mom as self made,straight forward,independent lovely woman who makes her own decisions.Thanks to my dad.We had a sweet nice little home like we two we have two.
And i like to mention my ammamma(grandma),aunt(pinni).As these r also behind me my well wishers and my grandma raised me till i go to school,and my aunt helped her.I salute them and love them a lot.As i was the only girl in both the families i had the butter and cream.i was the most looked after one.For me my mom and aunt ,ammamma all r same.My aunt is also a teacher.
What can i say mom's r the best.The world is because of moms how ever they be what ever they may be.We the moms that make the world a happy place.
This is my post for my amma,ammamma,pinni and my daughter.
Amma means a lot to the kid."She" is the only one that makes a kid grow like a person(whatever he/she).If "she" is not there no body is there.This is a wonderful gift of god to us ladies.The "MOTHERHOOD". such a lovely word ..amma,ma,mother ,mom what ever it is..
In telugu some people say"devudu prati chota vundaleka ammanu srustinchadu" which means "God has created mother as he can't stay in every place"..
Now coming to my mother........
She is a mother for us 3 kids.I wonder how she managed us 3 while going to job..
She is very caring mother.Somehow at that age we can't understand.She used to put some strict rules to us like "study hard,get up early,eat good food etc...."then i used to think this is not good.I used to shout at her .She never said hard words and answered me calmly.But now when i am telling these to my daughter i am feeling very bad by remembering my childhood days..:-)
She given a wonderful life to me.She struggled like a mother and a father also for us 3 to settle us in our life..She never thought for herself .
When i am pregnant she taken 6 moths continuous leave for her job and taken good care of me.I undergone a very major operations while delivery.She has taken care of my daughter and her daughter(me) ..in a way that i am also a small baby at that time. She did everything to me..If she is not there i would not be here to share my experience.:-((((
I haven't shown my responsibility towards her in any way till now..i am very sorry for that.Any way she is a mother and she understands it very well and shows her love affection to me with her lovely and caring words.
Thanku AMMA for giving me birth and raising me to this position in my life.
Happy Mothar's day to u my dear mother....
Asha and Sandeepa have been arm twisting us to post something 'mothery' to honor Mother's Day. To get them off my back and because today is a Thursday in May, I thought I should post my take on motherhood right along with my intro..
[Warning: Keep Kleenex box handy. Either to sniffle in or to throw at the screen.]
..watching the world go by from 33 inches of height, through innocent eyes and a guiltless heart.
..learning to laugh, instead of yell, when your toddler empties a large box of dry beans on the floor and throws some on himself.
..crying over spilt milk. Breast milk. Pumped breast milk.
..discussing with your mom over an international phone call, the smell, color, texture and other such intricacies of your baby's poop. You know, just to make sure it is normal and all.
..making a milestone out of a mole. And then blogging about it.
..melting like candle, as a playful, loving father emerges out of your no-nonsense husband.
..when you wake up on day 3 and realize in horror that this is not a job that you can walk away from, or a project that you can hand off or a hobby that you can leave incomplete. It is a lifetime responsibility.
..believing that every wiggle and facial movement of your newborn is a Kodak moment.
..realizing later that even the best of Kodaks can never capture the essence of such moments the way your heart does.
..looking at your parents with renewed reverance; and wondering how on earth they raised THREE little monsters into human beings, while you're struggling with just one.
..about keeping promises. Whether it is 'As soon as I finish cooking, I will take you out' OR 'If you tear that book one more time, no more reading today'.
..about realizing that parenting is like a religion...there may be a 100 different ways to it, but the end goal is the same.
..when you change your opinion about Mother's Day. Of course, it is no longer just another Hallmark gimmick, and of course, you're expecting a celebration. After all, you now understand what it means to be a Mother.
Happy Mother's Day, comrades!
This post was sent to me by a sweet young 22 year old, working as an Engineer in India. She is Saraswathi and blogs at A Journey
She says "Though amn't married I really love reading the mom's stuff on DMC. Its a great initiative:)
When I read that the topic for this month is "Mother's Day" I wanted to write about my mom whom I love a lot:) You can publish my post if you feel it is relevant to your club:)"
Her very sweet and honest article begins here and I sincerely hope her Mother gets to read this some day:-
When I was young, I always hated my mom. Hatred in the sense I felt she wasn't properly educated and always back-answered her for every small thing. We had loads of fights after which I always used to wish I wasn't her daughter. Will give you one example of a small fight we would have every morning(Now when I think back I get a smile on my face). Mom would plait my hair every morning to go to school. I used to fight that she plait my hair before I go for my bath. And she would say that if she does that my hair would be spoilt again during the bath and she will plait it after my bath. These small fights just lead me away from my mom.
I never shared any experiences of mine with her and most of the times would lie to her. She bore all my idiosyncracies with grace. She was always calm and patient even when I used to shout at her or get angry on her unnecesarily. She never questioned me why I was acting like that. She would hug me after such fights and that would sometimes put me to shame. She is a fun-loving person. She is great at mimicry and dancing. She dances as if nobody is watching her. As I grew up I slowly started realising her contribution to my life. She gave me complete freedom. Even if I hurt her she would never show off that she was hurt. She would act as if nothing happened and always poured unlimited love. I adore her patience. Gradually I started seeing myself in her shoes and realised completely how difficult it is to be a mom. Its sacrifice, love, patience and what you get in return is sometimes bad words from your own kids.
I have changed completely now. Though I do back-answer her at times I have a greater understanding of what she feels and I think its my responsibility to see her happy now and forever. After mom's marriage she went through lots of trauma thanks to my grandma. But she never told a bad thing about my grandma to me. I came to know of it through my uncle. She used to always tell me "No matter what people have done to you(good or bad) always learn to love them and not talk bad of them". She is indeed a great lady.
At this moment I feel proud to say am my Momma's daughter:) She is the lady who taught me what patience is, what it is to be a mother, what it is to be silent when you are in a storm. I bow to this lady who means everything to me. My God, my Friend, my Mother
Today is my parent's marriage anniversary and I wish and pray for their everlasting love, happiness, good health, wealth, success and all the good things in life.
I love you mom! You are simply the best:-*
(My mom's name is Devika. Her native is Salem,Tamilnadu. She is a housewife and today my parents are celebrating their 28th marriage anniversary. She got married at the age of 18. I have an elder bro too who simply adores and worships my mom :)