(This post is by Sandeepa)
Since its been a while since I wrote a post for DMC and in the fear of getting banished from my own blog, I thought what could be a better come back than some “Pats” on my own back. So here’s my “pat on my own back” for this month’s lovely theme.
Before I go into it though let me say one thing, that Moms are always A+ as Moms i.e. they can be lousy as neighbours, as colleagues, or as any other entity but as Mothers to their kids there is no one better.
In Bengali we have a saying “Ku Putra jodi ba hoy, Ku Mata kabhu she noy”. Loosely translated it means a son/daughter can prove to be a bad son/daughter but a Mother can never be a bad one. Have heard this so many times when I was in the receiving end, during the tumultuous teenage years that its sure feels to be great and secure to be on the other side now.
I think whatever I have done for little S till date though, was more for my own comfort, my own happiness and so I cannot really take credit as a “good mom” for such things. If I didn’t want her to be with a stranger or at the daycare till the age of 2, it was solely because of my own comfort level. I don’t really think I did her any good by my decision, but yeah it did me loads of good.
Again if I have let her taken precedence over my career or my desire to go out and watch a movie or do something else, it is because of me more than for her. And again there have been times when I have gone off to watch the latest SRK with my friends, the little baby safe at home with the hubby, but I haven’t really felt the guilt.
However there are two things which I want myself to remember (of course when she is a obstinate teenager, I can tell her about the sleepless nights, the cradling and the walks every night around the house to make her sleep, the constant entertaining, the career put on hold, the constant chattering that I have to hear, the book that lies un read, the potato fries that she wants just so ….and she is going to turn a deaf year to such rants)….as things I should get the “Good Mom” scroll for.
Pat, Pat 1
Being from a state where every other house takes out their harmonium every evening and belts out Rabindra Sangeet, I am severely lacking in the singing & dancing dept. So when my little daughter can recognize tunes and even songs from the prelude I am visibly thrilled. When this little one expressed her desire to learn dance I was determined to make it a success and tracked down a teacher who taught Indian Classical Dance and promptly enrolled her.
Once in the class however the little dancing diva lost interest, grew shy and refused to move a feet to any of the beats. This continued for the first two classes.
I just wanted to chuck the class and thwart any further dancing attempts but she insisted that she wanted to dance but also wanted me to do so with her. Whoa…ME !!!!!!! Me with the two very out of beat left feet…dancing with a bunch of 4 – 6 year olds to some “ta ta..thai thai”. No way…I thought.
Next class, there I was holding my little girl's hand and trying to match steps with 5 other kiddos. After my several such miserable attempts she got the hang of the place though and left me alone and now enjoys her class even If I am not sitting & watching.
Some achievement that I would say, given that my own Ma had not been able to get me dance at the neighborhood dance school
Pat, Pat II
The next reason I take part credit (ok, the hubby deserves the better part of it) is for my daughter still speaking our mother tongue. Strange as it may sound, but many of my friends insisted that she would stop speaking Bengali as soon as she would start day care/pre-school.
She hasn’t done so yet. We do not speak English at home and in fact her Dad insists that he doesn’t even understand English, so she has to translate stuff that her friends or teacher has said for us. The translations turn out to be funny but her Bengali is impeccable. This is very dear to me because I love my language and my every visit to Kolkata ends up with loads of Bengali Fiction books being carted to the US. The fact that I could pass on the language to my own makes me feel maybe I did something good.
But then again she is only 4 and it is too short a time for me taking credit for anything at all. All I want her is to be a compassionate, kind, honest, happy and a good human being when she grows up and if she ever becomes that maybe I can deserve a small pat.