I heard some interesting advice some time ago, which I just have to share with other blog moms.
I met a professor from the National School of Design who is an expert on how the human brain works. He said that one of the key reasons behind the increasing pandemic of teenage sex and the side-effects thereof is that this generation is one which has been deprived of touch in its childhood. So the sex is actually an outcome of the desire for plain and simple touch but of course, then hormones get in the way and they can't stop at just that. So moms and dads - hug your kids as often as you can, with and without reason - it's good for your BP too!
We had orientation at Chubbocks' school today as he's moving up from nursery to Kindergarten. The school has a new counselor who's just come on board and she took us through a brief presentation on kids and how they feel. She spoke of a fascinating concept called emotional transference - which means, in the immortal laws of physics, that parents have an equal and opposite reaction to everything the child is feeling. So often, if you are feeling a certain way towards your child, if you examine your own emotions, you know what the child is going through.
If you're feeling annoyed and irritable - the child is probably asking for your time and attention.
If you're feeling angry - the child is feeling powerless and playing power games.
If you're feeling hurt and rejected by your child - your child is trying to show you who's boss.
If you're feeling helpless - your child is giving up!
I'm not sure this is applicable to all situations when one is feeling a certain emotion, but certainly, I can see a pattern. I'm annoyed and irritable when Chubs doesn't let us get in a word edgeways some days - that's his way of asking for attention, maybe because he can sense I'm not focussing on him. I feel angry when it comes to Chubs and his meals a lot of the times - and some of the time it's perhaps because he's trying to test me.
It's an amazingly simple and yet eye-opening insight into the way the child is feeling. the counselor also advised that parents should teach their children the labels for the emotions they are feeling when they are acting out, as this is likely to help the kids learn better self-control over time. I'm certainly going to try and remember what she said and put it into practice.