Sunday, April 13, 2008

welcoming the new one...

[posted by Sheela]

Hello All!

We recently welcomed a wee new member to our family and I am just trying to find my bearings...

I am very much looking forward to the response to theme of the month... the timing is perfect for me.

I have gathered that the age difference matters: a 2-year age gap is in a way more difficult as the 2-yr old is still a baby, and a 4 or 5-year gap is better as the older one is mature enough to understand and do his/her own thing...

Also, I believe if it is age appropriate, it is good to involve the older ones and get them to help as best as their age would allow...

On the plus side: Ana is very good at changing times: she loves to help me change Baby Oggie. She gets the diaper out, as well as the butt paste, and always insists on seeing his yellow poop before I toss the soiled diaper away... If I am reading to her and she hears Baby Oggie cry, she magnanimously tells me to go help the baby first and then come back and finish reading...

However, she has this little streak in her to push the limits on what she is allowed to do with the new baby. She loves to pull the little one's legs, butt her head against his in an effort to kiss his face, put stray pieces of toys on him and even try to topple his bouncer... all of this is not to intentionally hurt him, I am sure... she just wants to be part of him and all she sees is the tiny newborn stuck to my chest pretty much all the time and me feeling groggy and unresponsive to her invitations to play...

She is incredibly sensitive so even just raising my voice a bit, or grabbing her and taking her away to a safer place, especially when she is itching to poke and prod Baby Oggie, seems to upset her terribly: she wilts like a neglected orchid and breaks my heart!

I wish there was an easy manual to follow on how to keep Ana happy while giving Baby Oggie room to grow and flourish without me feeling so darned stressed and inadequate...

Looking forward to reading your experiences and suggestions... Thanks much!

4 comments:

Sandeepa said...

Sheela
I was wondering how Ana is taking to the baby. So sweet that she being a baby herself still tries to pitch in to help so much

Hope you have some help to deal with both of them

the mad momma said...

Hey Sheela -

I had the same fear but I dont think the 22 mth age gap was too bad. I used to let the Brat be around and help plenty.

As a result he grew completely possessive of her and will not allow anyone to upset her today.

If you thought one was fun - two is fantastic!!!

Kodi's Mom said...

thanks for starting this topic, Sheela and nice to see Ana is getting her hands dirty (pun intended!) with Oggie's care.
woudl love to see what other advice you get on this post...

mummyjaan said...

Sheela, congratulations. I wasn't aware you were welcoming your second one. Glad to know that Ana is doing well with the baby.