Friday, February 20, 2009

Compare or Motivate -- what are we doing ?

Do not compare your kids with others or others with your kids or whichever way, baseline is do not compare kids. Period.

Each kid blossoms in his or her own pace so just let them be. If you have concerns, talk to the doctor but don't compare. If you are proud of your kid's over achievements you are mucho welcome to brag about it but again do not compare.

If you are a third party do not say stuff like "A's son cannot read yet but my niece started reading at 2", ok if you are saying that out of ear shot of A&A's son or the niece, I don't know what the protocol is.

Now that I have two kids I keep repeating such stuff to myself so that I do not ever compare them, maybe we discuss their differences but not compare.

But there is a thin line between comparing and motivating.

Like say Big Sis S wouldn't want to towel herself dry after her bath, her claim was she was too small for such tasks and so I should do it for her. So then I started drawing on examples of a friend's daughter who had started drying herself at the same age. This girl is looked upon by Big Sis S and so it was easy to convince her that such tasks are doable by 5 year olds.
Now what did I do just now, did I compare or motivate ? Or did I compare to motivate ?

So, what is your opinion, what is the fine line ? Or is it that I should not take such devious routes to motivate ?

Some harmless motivations can lead to funny results though. A few weeks back I has seen this post of ChoxBox. I loved the story idea and what n3 wrote.

Since Big Sis S now writes small sentences at school I told her if she would like to write a story, and asked her to write a story on "How The Tiger Got Its Stripes". She readily obliged, took her writing tablet to the table and was back in a minute. So there was the "Shortest Story of the Century" illustrated by the author and duly signed off as "By S..."

I was !!!:D


It says -- "I think they Paint it"

Monday, February 16, 2009

Co-sleeping and loving it

Sandeepa's recent post about Co-sleeping is really close to my heart.And I decided that its about time,I wrote a post on DMC.
But before that,let me tell you where I had disappeared. Sometime in late September,we moved to Australia.The whole move and things happenning around that time,turned me into a lazy blogger.I was still blogging mentally,just didn't take the time to type and publish.
During and after this move my daughter,Aadya,moved into our bed and from the looks of it,it seems like she is there to stay.The first few days,we were sleeping lightly for the fear of crushing her.DH would wake up,confused every night,asking,if Aadya was OK.Now,we are used to her little warm body,snuggled up between us,head resting on one's pillow and the legs on the other one's stomach.
I never had a strong opinion about co-sleeping.But,as a rule,always put Aadya to sleep in her crib.Even when she had trouble falling asleep,we would rock her,cuddle up with her on our bed and put her back in her crib.But once she moved into our bed,she just refused to sleep on her own.Staying up till we went to bed.We were still settling in,and didn't have a separate bed for her.So,we would just let her be,going to bed early. One day suddenly,she didnt want to cuddle.All she wanted to do was hold my hand and I was just supposed to lie still.And she dozed off,holding my hand.And after,falling asleep,my hand dropped out of her tiny fist.
By the time,we went to bed,she had moved to the corner and we let her sleep there.DH slept peacefully that day-he didn't miss the kicks.Aadya slept longer next morning.Me?I spent most of the night,tossing and turning-I missed the little one's ,almost strangling tight cuddles.The next night,Aadya was back in the middle and I slept happily :)
We are moving to a bigger house now and the plan is to move her to a different room.I know it is the wise thing to do.She needs her own bed..we need space in our own bed...We have started looking at furniture,but moving her to the other room,just seems like a big step..almost like severing the umblical cord.Aadya may or may not mind the move so much..but I will surely miss her warm body next to me :(
If you sane mommies,have any tips for making the move easier on both of us,please share.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Of Foogos & Funtainers

I am at K's Bollywood dance lesson last Sunday. I see a rather interesting looking Sippy Cup. I keep looking at it as if I have never seen a sippy cup before. I stop short of wanting to grab it from the kid so I can scan it fully.

Then,I slowly start a conversation with a friend next to me whom I assum knows more about new sippy cups in the market (given she has an infant) than I.

"Is it a thermos sippy cup?" The friend nods and replies, "Yes."

Who would have thought of thermos for a sippy cup? As you can imagine, I can't wait to find out more.

"Do they come in different sizes? As in, the same colorful ones in kid-friendly lunch storage containers," I continue.

"Yes, they do," she patiently replies.

"The inside fully insulated stainless steel?" I ask. She nods her head. Enough to bring a huge smile to my face. I start dreaming. Dreaming about the empty lunch boxes that my 6 yr old would bring home, now that I can pack hot lunch. Oh, my! Hot Lunch.

I come home. Google for thermos for children or something like that. Lots of Foogos and Funtainers show up in the search. Find it on ebay for 8.95. With shipping close to 14. I compare prices on few other sites. And quickly place an order for one. Part of me also thinks, must be cheaper to buy from India. You know, those Eagle brand ones. I am sure it's already there in the market given our love affair with stainless steel lunch boxes. But, I pause and think, "who can wait another 6 months to send hot lunch to school?"

Funtainer arrives. Even has a Hello Kitty on the front, all pretty and cute. Yeah! The same mom, always full of disapproval for character merchandise and who vowed she would never send character based things to school caved in for this.

Anyways, stainless steel Funtainer it will be, for school from now on. The funtainer was packed with hot, buttered pasta and sent to school yesterday. Went to pick up K from school and obviously, the first thing I ask her, "How was your new lunch box? Was the food hot?". She replies, "Oh, ya. It was great. Just the right temperature. But, I couldnt finish the whole thing."

Well, I should have known better. At least, it was hot food she got to eat. And secondly, it's safer than plastic. And at the very least, I don't have to worry about those BPA plastic stories you hear often these days.

The way we fall prey to new sippy cups and fancy lunch containers, just so we can get our little ones to drink an extra ounce of milk or eat a few more spoons of the dhal! Oh, well, so much for our fancy, schmancy lunch box story. And we'd better keep it till college given the state of the economy. Oh, yes! :-) Even in the case that HK merchandise goes out of fashion... :-)


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Added later:
For Moms like me who have no clue on what's in and out of the market with respect to kids' baby products, this was the interesting looking thermos sippy cup I saw at the class that led me to the kids' lunch thermos! :-) Well, you could always read the onlines reviews and find out more as to whether they are good or bad. I don't know enough to tell you about that! :-)

Co Sleeping -- Yay or Nay

Do not Co-Sleep with your babies. Period.

Yeah I know warmth of that soft, cuddly body besides you is irresistible, it is comfortable, easy for you, and now studies prove that it makes kids more independent. But take it from a Mom who has been co-sleeping twice over.

Here I am after a hard days work, with baby A on my left, same bed but she is on her own little mattress. There on my right is Big Sis S who insists on certain days of the week that she wants to come in and share the bed with me. that is what comes of co-sleeping with her all these years.I am wedged in a tiny space in-between, trying to get my sleep, which is not easy given that I am allotted so small a space in my own bed in my own bedroom.

The husband has been banished to snooze under a pink & purple Dora comforter on a Dora bedspread.

If I stick to laws of nature I can never ever become a Mommy of 3 and Thank God for that.

Err, so what does that mean, should you Co-sleep or not ?

This study here says -- " In a survey of adult college age subjects, Lewis and Janda (2) report that males who coslept with their parents between birth and five years of age had significantly higher self-esteem, experienced less guilt and anxiety, and reported greater frequency of sex."

Crawford (3) found that women who coslept as children had higher self esteem than those who did not. Indeed, cosleeping appears to promote confidence, self-esteem, and intimacy, possibly by reflecting an attitude of parental acceptance"