Month one...

Posted by Cee Kay

Note: I have this post up on my blog too.

...went by pretty quickly. And there is so much I want to share. So much I want to record. Somewhere I feel bad that I didn't get to do this for S. But, blogging wasn't around at that time (or if it was, I wasn't aware of it) and I am not much of a scrapbook kind of person. I'll try and remember things about S when she was at a similar stage and record them here. Actually, I don't want to record just Baby M's milestones. I want to record OUR milestones together - as parents, as older sister, as the new baby in the family. I am too lazy, no make that BUSY, to record all these milestones separately.

Sometimes I look at Baby M and realize that I never got to see that stage of S just because when she was born in Indore, I would hardly get her. She was always in someone else's arms. And since I didn't nurse her much, I didn't have even that excuse to keep her with me. Some would call it the benefit of living in a joint family - that there were so many to take care of her. I and J think of it as a drawback. We never got to spend that precious time with our daughter. We wouldn't have minded sharing her, but sometimes I feel like we had to give her up. And the fact is that no one shared the responsibilities - they were all ours. We hardly got any help. Anyway, that's in the past. And material for another post. One that I don't feel inclined to write/revisit anyway.

The first thing we realized as new parents this time was that we were so relaxed. I mean, no relatives clamoring to hold your baby, no unsolicited advices (well, not entirely true - but that is material for another post - hopefully coming up soon), no one trying to implement their parenting techniques behind our backs and no one snatching Baby M from my arms when she cried saying "Give her to me - you are making her cry!". (Yup! That did happen when I had S)

I stayed in the hospital for four nights and was discharged on Saturday. Friday night, as every other night, I sent Baby M to the nursery after feeding her, but then somehow couldn't sleep and got this uneasiness in my chest. Somehow I was certain that Baby M was not doing very well and needed me. So I got out of my bed and went to the nursery just to check. There the nurse told me that her temperature had gone down so low that she had to be put under the warming lamps. She was doing fine by then. I brought her back and kept her with me all night after that - I think (somehow, I can't remember much of the time that I spent in the hospital)
Saturday, we came home and our life as a family of four started. Its been a fast month. Baby M has grown so much, and we have come to know how we have grown since we had S more than 8 years ago. Every day brings some new experiences. And as I was telling a friend of mine - each day also brings confirmation of which "system" of hers is now working :D For example, now we know she has strong lungs because she can scream. About two weeks back, when Baby M stopped crying upon hearing her big sister's voice, it was confirmed that her hearing is fine too! Then last week we knew her eyes are perfect when she started following us around the room with her eyes. Lungs - check. Ears - check. Eyes - check. Apetite - check. Will keep updating the "inventory" as time goes by :D

Baby M has the kind of hair that stands up ALL THE TIME - much like Mad Momma's Grouchy Max :D When I was in the hospital, I thought the nurses were just having some fun trying to shape her hair like a mohawk. But the first time I gave her a bath I realized that her hair does that on its own. Now, S lovingly shapes it into a Mohawk every day!

My first thought when I looked at Baby M was "Oh my Gosh!! I'd forgotten that they come so tiny!!" She was so tiny (6 lbs 6 oz at birth and 5lbs 11 oz when discharged from the hospital) that she would get lost even in Newborn sized clothing! And she just loved to pull her feet up and scrunch up like a ball which often resulted in tangled limbs inside body suits or a bunched up M with the feet of the body suit left hanging limply. And then she would scream at the top of her lungs to be freed from it! Now she has started filling up those newborn sized body suits better. And doesn't look like a "bodysuit on a hanger" anymore.

One thing in which she is exactly like S is that she loves the massages and bath time rituals. She cries her head off when I take the clothes off but once I start massaging or when I pour water on her she just gets quiet and looks around as if saying "Who? Me? No! I wasn't screaming!"

And like S, she likes a good night's sleep. Since the age of about 1 week, she hasn't taken more than one feed during the night. Of course, she goes to bed late at around 1 or 2 am, but she eats only every 4-5 hours which is VERY good for a newborn, I say. Her doctor did tell me not to let her sleep for more than 5 hours without eating but she regularly sleeps for 4-5 hours during night time. During the day she feeds more frequently - about every 2.5 - 3 hours or so. So all is good on that front. S did that too - started sleeping through the night pretty early but being a first-time parent then, I'd wake her up every 2-3 hours and feed her. Then her pediatrician yelled at me (sort of) saying "Moms all around the world are trying to get their babies to sleep longer and you are waking yours up??" :P Never made that mistake again :D

One area where M is different from S is swaddling. S loved it. So much so that she wouldn't go to sleep without being swaddled. It became so much of a problem later that I had to "train" her to sleep without swaddling at three months. But M dislikes it totally. So I let her sleep without swaddling during the day. But at night, when she is very tired but unable to sleep on her own (and keeps hitting herself in the face with her fist :D), I swaddle her tight. She hates it and strains against it to get free but I just hold her legs down gently for a few minutes until she falls asleep.

There is so much more to record - my birthing experience this time, my memories from the first time, the annoying advices and some friends' hospital visits, my on-going struggle with lactation, times when I got frustrated because of that, how we coped being alone at this time, how S is coping etc. So much to write, so little time! Hope I get around to it soon.

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's here!!

Posted by Cee Kay from My2CentsToo

Note: I posted this on my blog some time back but didn't get the time to post it here until now.

Well, I know that everyone knows that she is here - has been here for over 5 weeks now. But I still can't believe that we finally have a baby that we were so desparate for! I call her my "miracle baby". Not because she was conceived with IVF - it is a fairly common procedure these days. But because I had given up all hope and never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would hold another baby in my arms ever again - unless it was someone else's. After the last IVF cycle, my doctor called me to say he didn't have very high hopes of that cycle succeeding either but not to lose hope. He said if this cycle fails we will meet to discuss further options. Given all this, I didn't have any hopes of getting pregnant with that cycle. When the nurse called me on October 10th with the pregnancy test results, I was expecting her to say "I am sorry, you are not pregnant this time either" like she had 4 times before that. So, when she said "You are pregnant" my response was "You sure???". So you see why this one is my miracle baby?

Baby M was born on Tuesday, June 5th at 1:33 pm. When I heard her first sqawk (I swear that is what she sounded like!) I was overcome with emotions. I first congratulated J, who was right by my side, then I started crying. The anaesthesiologist, who was monitoring me constantly, came and wiped my tears with a tissue. That was the sweetest thing and I forgave him for sticking me with a big scary needle in my spine earlier.

I wish I had the time to write about my birthing experience this time (and the first time too - for that matter) but I really don't. I probably will - have been thinking about it for along time - but not right now. Right now, all I can think of is what I have (and not what I have been through) - two beautiful daughters. The reality that I have two kids now to take care of hasn't sunk in yet.

The little one is an angel - when she is not screaming her head off. Yup! She is a screamer :D All I can say for her screaming abilities is that her lungs are getting stronger each day. When she was born, I immediately noticed that she didn't cry as loud as her big sister did when she was born(Remember? "Sqawk"??). But boy! She has more than tripled her screaming and screeching capacity in these 3 weeks!! Feed her and she sleeps like an angel. If she wants to be fed, dillay-dally at your own risk. It is better to jump to attention and do what Her Highness demands!

Things haven't been easy so far. As it happened the first time, this time around too I am having lactation problems. The day I was discharged from the hospital, Baby M went without pooping for almost 20 hours (3 days, as it later turned out) and without wetting a diaper for over 6 hours. That concerned me and the nurse I called for help said I should start supplementing her with formula after every feed.

So I have to supplement her with formula almost after every feed. And pump milk to increase supply. The pumping is killing me - even a 15 minute session leaves me feeling like someone is sucking blood out of me. My breasts and nipples are so sore and swollen they hurt even if I look at them. Yet, I grit my teeth, curl my toes and shut my eyes tight and put her on the breast every 2 hours even though I feel I couldn't go through it another time. All in the hopes that my milk supply will increase enough so I can stop supplementing her. Oh, how I wish I were one of those women who lactate like a cow! I really, truly wanted to nurse exclusively this time. But, as J pointed out one day when I was especially depressed due to this - having Baby M is the most important thing. We never imagined we would have another baby. Lack of lactation just doesn't figure as high on our priority list in the scheme of things. More so because S was on formula from almost the beginning and she turned out fine. In fact, she didn't fall sick as much as other kids I saw around us. I am not disputing breast milk's effect on building up a baby's immunity. It was probably my obsessive compulsion in cleaning and boiling the milk bottles that kept the infections at bay. And anyway, this time at least I am nursing. I didn't get to do that with S at all.

Apart from this, we are managing well. There is so much to write about how we coped those first couple of weeks, how certain friends drove me crazy with their non-stop advice, how the Big sister was excited when the baby got here, how I was scared sh**less (:D I somehow love that experssion) before the C-section and a lot of other things. Maybe later. I have this huge jumble of thoughts in my mind right now that doesn't make any sense through that sleep-deprived haze that I am in.

I am breaking my self-imposed ban on posting any personal pictures of myself or my family and leaving you with a picture of Baby M. I also have one of the two sisters together - will post it as soon as I can get it out of my camera onto my laptop.

Ciao!!