Husbands of the 20th century

Come on girls I need your opinion today cause I 'm really going insane.

Here's the scoop...
As every year, this year too, me and my friends want to celebrate 'Mother's day' by taking a day (actually couple of hours) away from house chores/kids/husbands/or whatever. On Saturday, I was calling my friends one by one to check with timings and finalize the venue.
Well, a very dear friend of mine said that she won't be able to come with us. We always try to accomodate everybody so, I asked her if she wants a different day/time. But, she said that her in-laws are visiting them (they should to be here today) and her husband said that she should not go to such activities till they are here. To this I said that she can bring along her MIL too, but her husband said that he doesn't want his parents to think that she is getting westernized (partying without the family).

What? (my emotions exactly)

I know when my ILs are here, there are a few changes we do around the house. Like no non-veg, no poker nights or beers for my husband, no shorts/tank tops/swimsuits for me, no getting up late on weekends. And I am perfectly okay with it. Its not a big deal for me. But, all this is a way of showing my respect for them.

Is my friend insulting her family if she goes out with her friends for 2 hrs. I mean, come on she takes care of 2 kids (ages 7 and 41/2) every single day. And its not like we are going to a disco club or a strip club, just a nice quiet lunch. Is it too much to ask? I know I am a feminist(well not 100%) and now and then I have to be reminded that I 'm a wife/mother first and then a woman. And its okay to put your family first. But, I am really sad since I talked to my friend.

Am I being paranoid? My husband thinks I am taking it way too seriously. According to him its a typical Indian husband behaviour. I still don't get it.

Okay, let it come. Don't be shy to tell me that I am wrong in thinking that my friend deserves a couple of hours of 'me-time'. Maybe I do need to calm my 'feminist' side a little bit.
(Thanks for reading :) )