Not doing it all

I was on a rant in my blog about how packaged masalas (not the primary ones like chilli powder, but the "biriyani mix", "idli mix", etc.) never work for me. The post elicited some comments, including the following:
"Hi Roopa, How do you manage to do everything so well -a great job/two kids/a blog/work out etc.etc..just curious. Can you please write a post about that to help some folks like me an idea about your routine.Take care!!!"

I'm flattered, but I'm not sure I'd say that I do do everything. There have been choices along the way. Things I chose NOT to do, things I choose to focus on right now, things I've decided can wait a couple of years.

• Rifle shooting -- now that was something I was pretty great at. But it took three to five hours of training four to five times a week. Not the kind of training that a mother of twins, with an NYC mortgage to contribute to can keep at, I decided. Funnily, I don't miss it...especially given I'd done it for about sixteen years with a real passion.
• Poetry -- I had dreamed at one time of truly taking time to read the greats, work with other poets, understand what it took to be good and evocative. Sports became the focus, coping with a new country and cadence became another, living life became a key distraction. It is not a passion anymore.
• Consulting -- engaging around an issue, solving it and working through an issue with absolute focus. I had felt like a fish that had found its preferred body of water, but travel and the hours can conflict with the deep urge to sit down and spend a couple of hours coloring rainbows. Choosing a sane work-life balance was a real priority, and my current role has allowed for that.

Which brings us to the comment and question:
6:30 am: Wake up and stare into the fridge. Whip up a dish or two for the kids (this activity is put on hold every time a grandma is in town!)
7:00 am: In the summer, there is time for a vigorous swim before work (usually two or three times a week)
8:00 am: Off to work
6:30 pm: Try to get back from work, and hang out with the kids. Ideally eat dinner with them once or twice during the work week
8:00 pm: Start reading to the kids
8:30 pm: Three days a week or more, hubby will hang out with the kids as they fall asleep and I go down to the gym for 45 mins on the ellipse, or a crazy training session with Tracy!!
9:30 pm: Log back on and get an hour or two of work done
11:00 pm: Do a bit of blogging to keep my writing muscles alive
At least once a week, make sure to have a grown-up dinner and walk home with hubby.
Seems like a bit of a slacker life, if you ask me. Out there are are 17-year-olds writing novels, 30-year-olds millionaires , and single moms who struggle to make ends meet, give their children guidance and necessities .... I'm just a working mom, trying to make sure to be good to her family and herself; lucky in having a caring husband, fantastically supportive friends, family and colleagues, and the ability to access great schools and institutions in this metro. It's about priorities, circumstances and ambitions....

Tell me what you think about the following Boston Globe article. Initially, I felt the central assertion was questionable: that women are choosing not to pursue certain careers from aptitude, not just giving up given glass ceiling dynamics or personal circumstances. But the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to reflect a lot of my own choices. I did feel that the dynamics in India or China are quite different...
The freedom to say 'no': Why aren't there more women in science and engineering? Controversial new research suggests: They just aren't interested.

http://rooparecipes.blogspot.com/

Greetings from one mommy to another!

Hi ladies,

I'm "Shilpa" from Flog & Rosbif, and have been so kindly invited by Sandeepa to contribute to this blog! What an honour! :)

Anyway, I am 30, a Singaporean and have been living in France for coming to 6 years now. My darling beta Joaquim will be 4 in August and is a typical boy - the kind who runs around a lot and is always up to some mischief at any given time, and of course the kind I can't stay mad at for long! :) For the moment, he's quite a handful, so he's the only child I have.

Being a mom is certainly no small role - while it is often rewarding, it can of course be tiring and taxing. (Not that it's any easier being a dad!) I've noticed that most of you are immigrants like me, and I'm sure a lot of you are working moms who don't have the luxury of domestic help and are far away from your own families. So where do you find the time for yourself? Remember, before becoming moms, we were WOMEN with unique personalities and it would be a pity to lose that individuality.

Let's admit it, even if we're happily married, doesn't it feel good to get compliments or admiring looks from strangers, male or female, now and then? :) For me, compliments from my female colleagues mean a lot now especially after I've looked my worst with new-mummy eyebags, stretch marks, overactive oil glands, water retention and a flabby belly I thought I'd never lose (I've not really lost all of it). Sure, appearance isn't everything, but I'm convinced that if you like what you see in the mirror, it's a great way to start your day! :)

What I would like to share today are some of my tips for getting back into shape after having a baby. I'm no fitness expert or nutritionist, but for someone who had been on the light side all my life, I was very frustrated with my postpartum weight for a long time before I learned to "listen" to my body. I'd bought a secondhand treadmill, barbells, a gym ball, a yoga mat and the works, but eventually, I have none of these to thank for going back to my desired weight and staying there.

OK, I shan't be vague and give you the exact figures. At the start of my pregnancy, I weighed 57kg (for a 1.62m frame). My weight shot up to 70kg when I was due, and up until a year ago, I was stuck at 55 to 57 and pretty much satisfied with that. That is of course, until I found some of my old dresses and was dismayed to see the overflowing jelly, which promptly knocked reality back into my head - that I could and should be lighter! I have been weighing 53kg constantly for more than 4 months now and am aiming for less. Err, I have a weakness for Cheetos, so I'll tell you when that happens! :)

So how did I do it? Nothing extraordinary, really. These are some of the major changes I made to my eating and living habits:

1. Drink lots of water. 2 to 3 litres a day is perfect! Simply said, it purges the body of toxins that cause puffiness and hydrates the skin. This is something I preach a lot about to people who ask me my "secret"! :) haha!

2. Remember that you no longer need to eat for two. I don't even think it's necessary to eat for two during pregnancy, but in any case, you do eat more than usual when pregnant, and after having baby, it's quite a tough habit to break.

3. Eat only when hungry. What does that mean? If you usually have dinner at 8pm, do you really need to eat even if you had a late tea-time snack and your stomach isn't growling at 8pm? Eating for the sake of eating is an easy way to put on weight without realising it!

4. Eat several small meals instead of a few heavy ones. Being a small eater before I got pregnant, this was tricky. How small is small? If you often feel bloated after a meal, then I believe that's an indication that you've had "too much". I think gradually reducing your portions one forkful at a time is the easiest way to get there.

5. Give yourself "rewards" once in a while, but space them out and savour them in moderate portions! You now know I snack on junk (Cheetos and the like), heh heh, but do I gulp down a bag at one sitting every single day? No way! If I do go overboard as it is human to do, I make up for it by having a much lighter meal later.

6. Take the stairs instead of the lift, and walk instead of drive where possible. Don't underestimate a daily 10-minute walk! Some activity is better than nothing. I'm actually quite a sedentary person, but I take public transport to work and lug groceries home twice every week (not only for the sake of my figure, but for the environment!). Being a hoarder, my groceries can reach 7 kg per arm (yes, I weighed my purchases once to see how strong I was, hee hee), so it is quite a workout!

There! These are just the major ones I can think of for the moment and I hope they're helpful! Other advice, not limited to moms trying to get back in shape - avoid processed food (cooking your own is always best), read labels, be aware of what goes into what you eat, pig out on healthy stuff like fruits and vegetables and in general think before you eat! :)