Theme for April 2008.
Hi, there, Desi Mommies!
Doing well? Good, I hope so.
Momnesia had me in its grip these past 4 days, and I needed a gentle prod from Sandeepa to announce this month's theme :).
Our friend Sogno had her second baby recently, and we know quite a few of the mommies around the desi blogosphere will be welcoming their second children in the coming months.
As we all know, life with a child is one thing, and life with more than one is a different story altogether. Two (just the parents) is company; three (with an energetic bundle between them) is a crowd; four is , perhaps .... a celebration! Or the perfect circle for Ring a ring 'o roses.
I grew up as an only child, and the close relationship between siblings is something I had only seen from a distance. I remember one of my classmates ranting about something her sister did, to end with a sigh, and then, "Brothers and sisters, can't live with them, can't live without them!" I remember being perplexed by it and not quite 'getting it'. Till now, when I see my own little ones prancing about, hand in hand. It has its pleasant moments; it has its challenges.
For me, the arrival of the second one put many thoughts and doubts in my mind - these challenging questions resurface every few days: how will I be able to lavish the same time and attention on the second one as I did on the first? how do I make them feel equally loved? how do I avoid favouritism?
For this month, I'd like the moms who have already had 2 (or more) to share their stories, helpful experiences and tips about life with two (or more) children. How did you welcome your second bundle into your home? How did your first little love take it? How and when did sibling rivalry present itself in your home and how did you tackle it? Or, how did you avoid it and what approach did you find helpful to prevent it?
That would leave out a lot of mommies who are enjoying their first one; I say, post anything related to brothers and sisters. A favourite childhood memory, perhaps. A special anecdote. Anything which celebrates the special bond between sister and sister, brother and sister, and brother and brother. (Or even not; rants welcome too).
So this time at Desi Momz, let's dedicate the month to Sibling Love.
(Please remember to label your post 'Theme for April 2008'.)
[This post is by Mummyjaan of Apya and Bubbu]
Showing posts with label Help for new mothers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Help for new mothers. Show all posts
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Friday, March 7, 2008
So that's what it is!
Hiya, all.
I read this article today on mnbc, which discusses the forgetfulness many moms experience after having children, and found it very interesting.
I was particularly tickled by the one where 'mom' cut up her husband's grilled chicken into tiny little pieces 'because that's what a mom does'. Right? Right :). I very nearly did that to my husband's omelette this morning.
So that's the word - momnesia !
I read this article today on mnbc, which discusses the forgetfulness many moms experience after having children, and found it very interesting.
I was particularly tickled by the one where 'mom' cut up her husband's grilled chicken into tiny little pieces 'because that's what a mom does'. Right? Right :). I very nearly did that to my husband's omelette this morning.
"There’s probably not a new mother alive who can’t identify and share a smile with Andi Silverman’s stories of memory lapses. Like the time she went shopping and left her groceries in the store. Or when she went on vacation with her two small children and forgot the diapers.With two toddler sons, Nate, 3, and Teddy, 2, commanding her total attention, this kind of forgetfulness is to be expected, say medical experts. They even have a name for it — “momnesia.”
“It’s a state of the female brain that is a bit forgetful after she’s had a baby,” Dr. Louann Brizendine told TODAY correspondent Savannah Guthrie."
So that's the word - momnesia !
Sunday, June 3, 2007
How a Mom gets it all Done -- Part 2
Few days ago Archana an energetic mom of two adorable twins had this post. She asked “How do Moms Get It All Done” Very very valid question and as always a lot of our members were very prompt and helpful with ideas and tips. These suggestions were so good that I decided to compile them with some of my own tips thrown in.
A Mom has a hectic life I agree. She zips around doing trillion things, stuff she wouldn’t have imagined doing for herself. All her work is done with a single goal to do the best for her kids. If she wants home cooked food it’s because she doesn’t want her kids to eat unhealthy junk.
If she simply HAS to do the 3 loads of laundry each week its because she can’t bear to see the kids go around in soiled clothes.
So in addition to the daily stuff she does for the kids, the feeding, bathing, playing, entertaining she has to get the household chores done too and that can get overwhelming at times.
Heres some pointers on how to make the load a little lighter and the journey more entertaining
This is a major part I agree, especially in an Indian household where you are cooking and serving Indian food. I love to cook but doing it every day is difficult and on weekdays it takes up a considerable amount of time.
What can You Do ?
Cooking in bulk. On a Saturday or Sunday I cook enough to last me till mid week. Then on Wednesday I cook something again but the mid week cooking is lighter, quicker stuff.
For my daughter I make a stew with different kind of veggies and refrigerate. Then I add either chicken or fish to it during the week. So I will fry a fish filet and add it to the stew say on Monday and then say add some cooked chicken to the stew on Tuesday. Chicken does not taste good if kept cooked for long so at the most a day or two should be ok.
Saheli said “I make tuvar dal a lot(plain dal/sambar etc.,) so, on weekends I boil it in bulk and store in different containers in the freezer and use them as needed during weekdays.”
SJ said “Daals, chole, rajma, chicken dishes, matar paneer, etc all are very freezer friendly. Just keep in mind, once it comes out of the freezer it should be finished the same day. Palak paneer, cook a lot of the palak base, divide into 3 parts and freeze 2. Next time take out one part, add some fresh seasonings, throw in fresh paneer and you are good to go.”
Chopping Veggies: I usually chop veggies on a day when I am not cooking. So say if I am watching a movie on Friday night, I utilize that time to chop up some of the veggies that I would cook during the weekend. For stuff like Spinach I always get a Bag of washed Baby Spincah which I use in Dal. That way I don’t have to chop the spinach.
On weekends I make onion paste and sometimes ginger and garlic paste and refrigerate. That way mid week cooking gets easy.
Saheli said “I also keep frozen vegs available like beans, karela, broccoli and guvar for days when I don't have time to chop. I also keep the 'instant" items ready like idli mix, dosa mix, dokhla mix.”
Also get your hubby to help with cooking, chopping, doing the dishes etc.. Relax about having home cooked meal every day, have a Sandwich or a salad on a day you are very tired or order out once in a while.
Laundry is ok… you just sort and dump and then the washer does the rest. The biggest chore for both me and D is folding them. Oh how I hate folding laundry !!! I just hope someone would come up with a gadget that folds.
Usually I do 3 loads of laundry and I start from Friday. The folding is another story….
What can You Do ?
Get your kids involved. Sometimes me and my daughter we sit and chat and I fold while she pretends to.
Reena said “ put clothes for washing and drying and let your husband fold it at night.”. Try, might work out and then you are one happy Momma
Sogno said “I used to fold the clothes at night after E fell asleep and while watching TV”
Dee said” Engage your kids in the laundry room and fold the dried clothes when you watch tv or listen to music after the little ones sleep”
If everything fails do what I do. I sometimes dump the dried up laundry in the spare room, shut the door, forget that the room ever existed and then on a day when I am less tired I go and fold. Ok that day has to be sometime during the same week of course, I cannot postpone to next year or something
With small kids around it becomes a bit stressful to do the house cleaning like vaccum etc.
What can You Do ?
Hire help for cleaning. You can get someone weekly, twice a week or monthly. My help comes in once every three weeks. In between we vaccum a bit and clean the bathrooms but NO Deep cleaning for us. So that leaves the weekends less stressed.
The kitchen is cleaned soon after I cook and hubby helps in that, I think kitchen is the most frequently cleaned room actually. Keep boxes of the "Clorox" Wet Kitchen wipes. A quick wiping of the counter tops with those help a lot. Also keep a box of Swiffer dry wipes handy. They are very useful to quickly wipe the floor.
Also restrict the kids to certain areas of the house to make a mess of. That way it’s ok if you only clean those areas each week and leave the rest for major cleaning days.
Teach kids to clean up toys etc. by having a large easily accessible toy chest where they can at least dump their toys and as long as junk is “out of sight” I consider it clean.
Serve meals for kids sitting them on their high chair and in the kitchen or dining area. Don’t let them run around the house with food. That might get messy
Running around grocery stores might be taking up a lot of your time. You loose out on your time with family you think.
What can You Do ?
Make grocery a fun family outing. Doing grocery helps me de-stress too. There are usually 2-3 grocery/farmers market to run around. Some days I just go on my own say on a Thursday evening while hubby takes care of the little one. Roaming around the aisles and looking at the produce gives me real pleasure.
Some weeks on Fridays we all go “to do grocery” . Getting the grocery done before Saturday helps me plan meals and start cooking from Saturday. When we all go together its like a family outing kind. Might not sound hep like going to a “Theme Park” but it IS a family bonding thing. If the family is not interested try to reduce the family trips to “once” a month and rest of the days go on your own to get some me time.
Shweta says “We always our grocery shopping -american/indian/ everything on thursday !!! I usually come back by 4.30 and the entire family goes on the trip..!! we pick up pizza on the go as a snack..!!SO even if we do run out of something unless it is very essential we just put it on list for thursdays !!”
Saheli says "Also, I always go with a list for grocery shopping and never ever go empty stomach"
Socializing is a part of a Moms life. Be it her friends or her kids friends. There are parties or get together to arrange or some that you need to attend to. This takes up some amount of the family time and though fun might make the days more hectic.
This I want suggestions about. I love my friends and spending time with them have always been fun. Being away from family its they who are more like family for us and my daughter too. But some weekends there is a bevy of socializing which upsets my plans. So maybe I am attending a party or cooking for one which leaves the weekends more hectic than relaxed. Does this happen to anyone ? How do you handle such situations ? What if this happens almost every other weekend ?
However we handle it, to keep us sane the mantra should be -- Take it easy and let go. You don’t have to be perfect. It’s fine if your kid eats chicken nuggets for dinner once in a while instead of the home cooked meal. Share work with hubby. He might not like you dictating which I tend to do often but let him take up a task he likes and he will excel. To get more quality time with family involve everyone while you are cooking or doing laundry. So let your hubby play with the kids some where nearby while you cook, so that you can join in too.
Do not look at motherhood as a chore, its not, to get the fun out of it do whatever suits you best.
Got ideas -- chip in please
A Mom has a hectic life I agree. She zips around doing trillion things, stuff she wouldn’t have imagined doing for herself. All her work is done with a single goal to do the best for her kids. If she wants home cooked food it’s because she doesn’t want her kids to eat unhealthy junk.
If she simply HAS to do the 3 loads of laundry each week its because she can’t bear to see the kids go around in soiled clothes.
So in addition to the daily stuff she does for the kids, the feeding, bathing, playing, entertaining she has to get the household chores done too and that can get overwhelming at times.
Heres some pointers on how to make the load a little lighter and the journey more entertaining
Cooking
This is a major part I agree, especially in an Indian household where you are cooking and serving Indian food. I love to cook but doing it every day is difficult and on weekdays it takes up a considerable amount of time.
What can You Do ?
Cooking in bulk. On a Saturday or Sunday I cook enough to last me till mid week. Then on Wednesday I cook something again but the mid week cooking is lighter, quicker stuff.
For my daughter I make a stew with different kind of veggies and refrigerate. Then I add either chicken or fish to it during the week. So I will fry a fish filet and add it to the stew say on Monday and then say add some cooked chicken to the stew on Tuesday. Chicken does not taste good if kept cooked for long so at the most a day or two should be ok.
Saheli said “I make tuvar dal a lot(plain dal/sambar etc.,) so, on weekends I boil it in bulk and store in different containers in the freezer and use them as needed during weekdays.”
SJ said “Daals, chole, rajma, chicken dishes, matar paneer, etc all are very freezer friendly. Just keep in mind, once it comes out of the freezer it should be finished the same day. Palak paneer, cook a lot of the palak base, divide into 3 parts and freeze 2. Next time take out one part, add some fresh seasonings, throw in fresh paneer and you are good to go.”
Chopping Veggies: I usually chop veggies on a day when I am not cooking. So say if I am watching a movie on Friday night, I utilize that time to chop up some of the veggies that I would cook during the weekend. For stuff like Spinach I always get a Bag of washed Baby Spincah which I use in Dal. That way I don’t have to chop the spinach.
On weekends I make onion paste and sometimes ginger and garlic paste and refrigerate. That way mid week cooking gets easy.
Saheli said “I also keep frozen vegs available like beans, karela, broccoli and guvar for days when I don't have time to chop. I also keep the 'instant" items ready like idli mix, dosa mix, dokhla mix.”
Also get your hubby to help with cooking, chopping, doing the dishes etc.. Relax about having home cooked meal every day, have a Sandwich or a salad on a day you are very tired or order out once in a while.
Laundry
Laundry is ok… you just sort and dump and then the washer does the rest. The biggest chore for both me and D is folding them. Oh how I hate folding laundry !!! I just hope someone would come up with a gadget that folds.
Usually I do 3 loads of laundry and I start from Friday. The folding is another story….
What can You Do ?
Get your kids involved. Sometimes me and my daughter we sit and chat and I fold while she pretends to.
Reena said “ put clothes for washing and drying and let your husband fold it at night.”. Try, might work out and then you are one happy Momma
Sogno said “I used to fold the clothes at night after E fell asleep and while watching TV”
Dee said” Engage your kids in the laundry room and fold the dried clothes when you watch tv or listen to music after the little ones sleep”
If everything fails do what I do. I sometimes dump the dried up laundry in the spare room, shut the door, forget that the room ever existed and then on a day when I am less tired I go and fold. Ok that day has to be sometime during the same week of course, I cannot postpone to next year or something
HouseCleaning
With small kids around it becomes a bit stressful to do the house cleaning like vaccum etc.
What can You Do ?
Hire help for cleaning. You can get someone weekly, twice a week or monthly. My help comes in once every three weeks. In between we vaccum a bit and clean the bathrooms but NO Deep cleaning for us. So that leaves the weekends less stressed.
The kitchen is cleaned soon after I cook and hubby helps in that, I think kitchen is the most frequently cleaned room actually. Keep boxes of the "Clorox" Wet Kitchen wipes. A quick wiping of the counter tops with those help a lot. Also keep a box of Swiffer dry wipes handy. They are very useful to quickly wipe the floor.
Also restrict the kids to certain areas of the house to make a mess of. That way it’s ok if you only clean those areas each week and leave the rest for major cleaning days.
Teach kids to clean up toys etc. by having a large easily accessible toy chest where they can at least dump their toys and as long as junk is “out of sight” I consider it clean.
Serve meals for kids sitting them on their high chair and in the kitchen or dining area. Don’t let them run around the house with food. That might get messy
Grocery
Running around grocery stores might be taking up a lot of your time. You loose out on your time with family you think.
What can You Do ?
Make grocery a fun family outing. Doing grocery helps me de-stress too. There are usually 2-3 grocery/farmers market to run around. Some days I just go on my own say on a Thursday evening while hubby takes care of the little one. Roaming around the aisles and looking at the produce gives me real pleasure.
Some weeks on Fridays we all go “to do grocery” . Getting the grocery done before Saturday helps me plan meals and start cooking from Saturday. When we all go together its like a family outing kind. Might not sound hep like going to a “Theme Park” but it IS a family bonding thing. If the family is not interested try to reduce the family trips to “once” a month and rest of the days go on your own to get some me time.
Shweta says “We always our grocery shopping -american/indian/ everything on thursday !!! I usually come back by 4.30 and the entire family goes on the trip..!! we pick up pizza on the go as a snack..!!SO even if we do run out of something unless it is very essential we just put it on list for thursdays !!”
Saheli says "Also, I always go with a list for grocery shopping and never ever go empty stomach"
Socializing
Socializing is a part of a Moms life. Be it her friends or her kids friends. There are parties or get together to arrange or some that you need to attend to. This takes up some amount of the family time and though fun might make the days more hectic.
This I want suggestions about. I love my friends and spending time with them have always been fun. Being away from family its they who are more like family for us and my daughter too. But some weekends there is a bevy of socializing which upsets my plans. So maybe I am attending a party or cooking for one which leaves the weekends more hectic than relaxed. Does this happen to anyone ? How do you handle such situations ? What if this happens almost every other weekend ?
However we handle it, to keep us sane the mantra should be -- Take it easy and let go. You don’t have to be perfect. It’s fine if your kid eats chicken nuggets for dinner once in a while instead of the home cooked meal. Share work with hubby. He might not like you dictating which I tend to do often but let him take up a task he likes and he will excel. To get more quality time with family involve everyone while you are cooking or doing laundry. So let your hubby play with the kids some where nearby while you cook, so that you can join in too.
Do not look at motherhood as a chore, its not, to get the fun out of it do whatever suits you best.
Got ideas -- chip in please
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
How do you get it all DONE?
I have been a mom for a mere 13 months and its exhausting! I am currently a stay at home mom to twins and I am finding that if I excel in one aspect of life one week, something else gets neglected. I feel like I am in a constant battle of trying to get it all done. I have already resolved that I cannot keep the house as neat and tidy as when I didn't have kids and I would rather play with the kids than fold 4 loads of laundry in one day but what I would love to hear from other moms here is what is your secret to having a somewhat sane life managing home and possibly work if you work outside the home? Do you have a routine for cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry that you want to share? Do you have short cuts for getting your errands and chores done around the house? Do you have some favorite websites or organizers that help you get through your week more efficiently? I will be happy to compile your responses back into this post. Do share. I need new ideas to live more efficiently and do more!
Edited: I thought I would add this based on the current comments - My husband helps me a ton, he comes home by 5:30 even though he has a software job to help me with bed time for our kids. He watches them on the weekends for hours on end so I can run errands, groceries, so on. We also have a gardener to do mowing and weeding and we have a housecleaner every 2 weeks to help. Starting this week my husband is watching the twins in the morning before he goes to work so I can work out at 6 a.m.
I love the feedback I already received would love to hear more about "things" people do that are shortcuts. I guess I want more personal time with family on the weekend than just doing chores and like suggestions for other ideas. Thanks to all for sharing!
Edited: I thought I would add this based on the current comments - My husband helps me a ton, he comes home by 5:30 even though he has a software job to help me with bed time for our kids. He watches them on the weekends for hours on end so I can run errands, groceries, so on. We also have a gardener to do mowing and weeding and we have a housecleaner every 2 weeks to help. Starting this week my husband is watching the twins in the morning before he goes to work so I can work out at 6 a.m.
I love the feedback I already received would love to hear more about "things" people do that are shortcuts. I guess I want more personal time with family on the weekend than just doing chores and like suggestions for other ideas. Thanks to all for sharing!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Need For Speed: A Mommy's Lunch Manifesto
[This article is posted by Meeta and written by Biggie of The Daily Tiffin Note: This is an excerpt of an article from The Daily Tiffin]
I'm a mom who packs lunch. What's important to a mom? Nutrition and speed: I want to feed my family nutritious food, but spending a lot of time on every meal isn't feasible. I strive to achieve balance between the two -- losing this battle would either have me waking up hours before everyone else to cook lunch, or reaching for a Lunchable processed lunch (the face of the enemy, pictured above).
Spending an hour preparing a weekday lunch is only going to happen in my house if it's a special occasion like a birthday or holiday -- I spend my morning getting myself and a preschooler ready to go out. Although ornate lunches shaped like cartoon characters and whimsical shapes are artistic and intriguing, I know my limits. I would burn out if I tried to do that every day. For me it's got to be sustainable over the long run, which is why I make speed bentos.
Read more
I'm a mom who packs lunch. What's important to a mom? Nutrition and speed: I want to feed my family nutritious food, but spending a lot of time on every meal isn't feasible. I strive to achieve balance between the two -- losing this battle would either have me waking up hours before everyone else to cook lunch, or reaching for a Lunchable processed lunch (the face of the enemy, pictured above).
Spending an hour preparing a weekday lunch is only going to happen in my house if it's a special occasion like a birthday or holiday -- I spend my morning getting myself and a preschooler ready to go out. Although ornate lunches shaped like cartoon characters and whimsical shapes are artistic and intriguing, I know my limits. I would burn out if I tried to do that every day. For me it's got to be sustainable over the long run, which is why I make speed bentos.
Read more
Thursday, April 12, 2007
A little more sleep..:)
[This post is written by Tharini from Winkie's Way]
Hi Girls..
This is proving to be a very active board indeed. Its so hard to keep up with merely reading the posts, let alone commenting. :) Anyways, its good to have something to chew on with my cup of coffee every morning.
A lot of discussion has already taken place on the sleep habits of our kids. I missed posting on time in response to Sandeepa's survey. Today I just updated my blog with our sleep story. And I just wanted to share the link:
Read it if you get a chance and have the inclination to dip into the whole issue once more. :)
CHeers!
Hi Girls..
This is proving to be a very active board indeed. Its so hard to keep up with merely reading the posts, let alone commenting. :) Anyways, its good to have something to chew on with my cup of coffee every morning.
A lot of discussion has already taken place on the sleep habits of our kids. I missed posting on time in response to Sandeepa's survey. Today I just updated my blog with our sleep story. And I just wanted to share the link:
Read it if you get a chance and have the inclination to dip into the whole issue once more. :)
CHeers!
Monday, April 9, 2007
Greetings from one mommy to another!
Hi ladies,
I'm "Shilpa" from Flog & Rosbif, and have been so kindly invited by Sandeepa to contribute to this blog! What an honour! :)
Anyway, I am 30, a Singaporean and have been living in France for coming to 6 years now. My darling beta Joaquim will be 4 in August and is a typical boy - the kind who runs around a lot and is always up to some mischief at any given time, and of course the kind I can't stay mad at for long! :) For the moment, he's quite a handful, so he's the only child I have.
Being a mom is certainly no small role - while it is often rewarding, it can of course be tiring and taxing. (Not that it's any easier being a dad!) I've noticed that most of you are immigrants like me, and I'm sure a lot of you are working moms who don't have the luxury of domestic help and are far away from your own families. So where do you find the time for yourself? Remember, before becoming moms, we were WOMEN with unique personalities and it would be a pity to lose that individuality.
Let's admit it, even if we're happily married, doesn't it feel good to get compliments or admiring looks from strangers, male or female, now and then? :) For me, compliments from my female colleagues mean a lot now especially after I've looked my worst with new-mummy eyebags, stretch marks, overactive oil glands, water retention and a flabby belly I thought I'd never lose (I've not really lost all of it). Sure, appearance isn't everything, but I'm convinced that if you like what you see in the mirror, it's a great way to start your day! :)
What I would like to share today are some of my tips for getting back into shape after having a baby. I'm no fitness expert or nutritionist, but for someone who had been on the light side all my life, I was very frustrated with my postpartum weight for a long time before I learned to "listen" to my body. I'd bought a secondhand treadmill, barbells, a gym ball, a yoga mat and the works, but eventually, I have none of these to thank for going back to my desired weight and staying there.
OK, I shan't be vague and give you the exact figures. At the start of my pregnancy, I weighed 57kg (for a 1.62m frame). My weight shot up to 70kg when I was due, and up until a year ago, I was stuck at 55 to 57 and pretty much satisfied with that. That is of course, until I found some of my old dresses and was dismayed to see the overflowing jelly, which promptly knocked reality back into my head - that I could and should be lighter! I have been weighing 53kg constantly for more than 4 months now and am aiming for less. Err, I have a weakness for Cheetos, so I'll tell you when that happens! :)
So how did I do it? Nothing extraordinary, really. These are some of the major changes I made to my eating and living habits:
1. Drink lots of water. 2 to 3 litres a day is perfect! Simply said, it purges the body of toxins that cause puffiness and hydrates the skin. This is something I preach a lot about to people who ask me my "secret"! :) haha!
2. Remember that you no longer need to eat for two. I don't even think it's necessary to eat for two during pregnancy, but in any case, you do eat more than usual when pregnant, and after having baby, it's quite a tough habit to break.
I'm "Shilpa" from Flog & Rosbif, and have been so kindly invited by Sandeepa to contribute to this blog! What an honour! :)
Anyway, I am 30, a Singaporean and have been living in France for coming to 6 years now. My darling beta Joaquim will be 4 in August and is a typical boy - the kind who runs around a lot and is always up to some mischief at any given time, and of course the kind I can't stay mad at for long! :) For the moment, he's quite a handful, so he's the only child I have.
Being a mom is certainly no small role - while it is often rewarding, it can of course be tiring and taxing. (Not that it's any easier being a dad!) I've noticed that most of you are immigrants like me, and I'm sure a lot of you are working moms who don't have the luxury of domestic help and are far away from your own families. So where do you find the time for yourself? Remember, before becoming moms, we were WOMEN with unique personalities and it would be a pity to lose that individuality.
Let's admit it, even if we're happily married, doesn't it feel good to get compliments or admiring looks from strangers, male or female, now and then? :) For me, compliments from my female colleagues mean a lot now especially after I've looked my worst with new-mummy eyebags, stretch marks, overactive oil glands, water retention and a flabby belly I thought I'd never lose (I've not really lost all of it). Sure, appearance isn't everything, but I'm convinced that if you like what you see in the mirror, it's a great way to start your day! :)
What I would like to share today are some of my tips for getting back into shape after having a baby. I'm no fitness expert or nutritionist, but for someone who had been on the light side all my life, I was very frustrated with my postpartum weight for a long time before I learned to "listen" to my body. I'd bought a secondhand treadmill, barbells, a gym ball, a yoga mat and the works, but eventually, I have none of these to thank for going back to my desired weight and staying there.
OK, I shan't be vague and give you the exact figures. At the start of my pregnancy, I weighed 57kg (for a 1.62m frame). My weight shot up to 70kg when I was due, and up until a year ago, I was stuck at 55 to 57 and pretty much satisfied with that. That is of course, until I found some of my old dresses and was dismayed to see the overflowing jelly, which promptly knocked reality back into my head - that I could and should be lighter! I have been weighing 53kg constantly for more than 4 months now and am aiming for less. Err, I have a weakness for Cheetos, so I'll tell you when that happens! :)
So how did I do it? Nothing extraordinary, really. These are some of the major changes I made to my eating and living habits:
1. Drink lots of water. 2 to 3 litres a day is perfect! Simply said, it purges the body of toxins that cause puffiness and hydrates the skin. This is something I preach a lot about to people who ask me my "secret"! :) haha!
2. Remember that you no longer need to eat for two. I don't even think it's necessary to eat for two during pregnancy, but in any case, you do eat more than usual when pregnant, and after having baby, it's quite a tough habit to break.
3. Eat only when hungry. What does that mean? If you usually have dinner at 8pm, do you really need to eat even if you had a late tea-time snack and your stomach isn't growling at 8pm? Eating for the sake of eating is an easy way to put on weight without realising it!
4. Eat several small meals instead of a few heavy ones. Being a small eater before I got pregnant, this was tricky. How small is small? If you often feel bloated after a meal, then I believe that's an indication that you've had "too much". I think gradually reducing your portions one forkful at a time is the easiest way to get there.
5. Give yourself "rewards" once in a while, but space them out and savour them in moderate portions! You now know I snack on junk (Cheetos and the like), heh heh, but do I gulp down a bag at one sitting every single day? No way! If I do go overboard as it is human to do, I make up for it by having a much lighter meal later.
6. Take the stairs instead of the lift, and walk instead of drive where possible. Don't underestimate a daily 10-minute walk! Some activity is better than nothing. I'm actually quite a sedentary person, but I take public transport to work and lug groceries home twice every week (not only for the sake of my figure, but for the environment!). Being a hoarder, my groceries can reach 7 kg per arm (yes, I weighed my purchases once to see how strong I was, hee hee), so it is quite a workout!
There! These are just the major ones I can think of for the moment and I hope they're helpful! Other advice, not limited to moms trying to get back in shape - avoid processed food (cooking your own is always best), read labels, be aware of what goes into what you eat, pig out on healthy stuff like fruits and vegetables and in general think before you eat! :)
4. Eat several small meals instead of a few heavy ones. Being a small eater before I got pregnant, this was tricky. How small is small? If you often feel bloated after a meal, then I believe that's an indication that you've had "too much". I think gradually reducing your portions one forkful at a time is the easiest way to get there.
5. Give yourself "rewards" once in a while, but space them out and savour them in moderate portions! You now know I snack on junk (Cheetos and the like), heh heh, but do I gulp down a bag at one sitting every single day? No way! If I do go overboard as it is human to do, I make up for it by having a much lighter meal later.
6. Take the stairs instead of the lift, and walk instead of drive where possible. Don't underestimate a daily 10-minute walk! Some activity is better than nothing. I'm actually quite a sedentary person, but I take public transport to work and lug groceries home twice every week (not only for the sake of my figure, but for the environment!). Being a hoarder, my groceries can reach 7 kg per arm (yes, I weighed my purchases once to see how strong I was, hee hee), so it is quite a workout!
There! These are just the major ones I can think of for the moment and I hope they're helpful! Other advice, not limited to moms trying to get back in shape - avoid processed food (cooking your own is always best), read labels, be aware of what goes into what you eat, pig out on healthy stuff like fruits and vegetables and in general think before you eat! :)
Friday, April 6, 2007
Daycare or Nanny or Homecare?
When I was pregnant with my daughter (now 2 years old) one of the big decisions my husband and I faced was about "Daycare or homecare or Nanny". We eventually went with a daycare. The thought process was it was regulated, would be safe, I mean how could we trust our little baby to a single individual who we barely knew? What if this nanny turned out to be Cruella in disguise? It didn’t help that we would see stories on the news about nannies pushing kids down the stairs, shaking them and hitting them! Now hang on - before you pounce on me for this… read on and you will see that these are probably rare cases, but as all the mom's out there know and moms-to-be will have to take my word for - it's different when you hold that little baby in your arms… the sky falling on your angel's head suddenly becomes a real problem you need to worry about! Anyway, back to the big decision - I have tried to summarize what made me decide to go with daycare and after my daughter going there for a year and half, what I would do differently if I knew then what I know now.
Daycare:
First and foremost in this section, I must mention there is a vast spectrum of daycares. From the excellent to the quite shady. I have been lucky to find an excellent daycare for my daughter. She goes to Bright Horizons. I know they are a chain, I do not know if all their branches are equally good. I signed up for it a week after I found out I was pregnant. They are so good and popular with parents here, I still was waitlisted!
+ Excellent variety in activities
+ Year round coverage.
+ Experienced teaches several with nursing degrees
+ bright, clean
+ Exposure to different people and children
+ If one teacher is out sick, they have a substitute for her. I don’t need to find back up care.
- Exposure to many other kids and adults, so the child falls sick VERY often
This really is my only con to daycare. My daughter started daycare at 6 months when my parents returned to India (sometime in Aug). Between September and November she had several ear infections, pneumonia, bronchitis, bronchiolitis and goodness knows what else I have forgotten now!
My daughter is now 2 and I think even if I were to leave my job, I would like for her to go to daycare. She has music class (not really a class, but a teacher plays the piano and sings and dances with the toddlers), gym, goes on walks to a nearby duck-pond to feed the ducks. She has learnt in daycare to put her plate in the sink (yes, they have tiny sinks toddler height), clean the table clean after she eats and a whole lot of other things I would never have expected my 2 year old to do!
Nanny:
My husband and I did not really explore this option too well. We had this prejudice as to how it would not be safe, how can we trust our baby with this one individual? Yeah-yeah nanny-cams etc exist but they are not foolproof.
+ Child stays at home in a familiar environment
+ Not exposed to many outsiders, so will probably not fall ill quite as much
+ I have been told Nannies do laundry and wash and sanitize bottles, etc. This used to take up a lot of time for me and I think having help with this would be huge plus.
- Nanny may fall sick, need vacation, will you find back up coverage then?
- Can you really find someone you trust to leave your house and baby alone with?
I did meet a lady who had found herself an Indian nanny. Basically and elderly lady who could not drive (yeah a big factor, at least you know the baby is not leaving the house without your knowledge, or your moppet is not a ring-side spectator to the nanny and her boyfriend making out). Her nanny also made rotis and a vegetable for dinner, but most of us are not so lucky. If you do happen to have someone like this, stop reading right here, and confirm employment for the nanny!
Again what you pay for a nanny varies, there was one lady I had spoken to who charged $2800 and health insurance was negotiable! I have heard from friends that in the Portland area one would typically pay about $1500-1700 for a nanny.
Homecare:
This option is typically a stay at home mom, who cares for a few other children in addition to her own. I would love to hear from others about this option. I think it has some cons of both daycare and nanny and again some benefits of both.
+ Less children (I would think 3-4 at most), Less children means your child will fall sick less often than at daycare
+ Will probably be more flexible timings.
- Still need to find alternate coverage when the caretaker is ill or on vacation.
My daughter A started daycare when she was quite young. Around the age of 1 she would cry every morning when I dropped her off. I felt miserable and even took 3 months off from work. I think in hindsight me keeping her home made her take longer to adjust. I did see a few times (and that made me feel better too) that she would stop crying as soon as I left the room. Her infant room had an external window. So I’d leave and walk around and peep in from the window, usually she would be fine, sometime she would even have placed herself at the table and would be feeding herself (in the 3 minutes after I left the room)! I now have the reverse problem, if I pick her up early when they go to the daycare park and is playing, I have a hard time dragging her home :-)
When I decided to go with daycare, I thought social interaction would be good for her. In hindsight, I don’t think social interaction really mattered the first 12 or 18 months and think a nanny would have been good for the first year. It's only now (after my child was 18 months) I think daycare is a no-questions-asked winner. My only qualm with daycare was A fell sick very often. I only assume this would not have been the case had she been with a nanny or at a homecare. The first winter was the worst and the second has been exponentially better. There is really no right or wrong decision. Future mommies, feel free to ask if you have any questions and seasoned mommies, chip in with your thoughts on this issue!
Daycare:
First and foremost in this section, I must mention there is a vast spectrum of daycares. From the excellent to the quite shady. I have been lucky to find an excellent daycare for my daughter. She goes to Bright Horizons. I know they are a chain, I do not know if all their branches are equally good. I signed up for it a week after I found out I was pregnant. They are so good and popular with parents here, I still was waitlisted!
+ Excellent variety in activities
+ Year round coverage.
+ Experienced teaches several with nursing degrees
+ bright, clean
+ Exposure to different people and children
+ If one teacher is out sick, they have a substitute for her. I don’t need to find back up care.
- Exposure to many other kids and adults, so the child falls sick VERY often
This really is my only con to daycare. My daughter started daycare at 6 months when my parents returned to India (sometime in Aug). Between September and November she had several ear infections, pneumonia, bronchitis, bronchiolitis and goodness knows what else I have forgotten now!
My daughter is now 2 and I think even if I were to leave my job, I would like for her to go to daycare. She has music class (not really a class, but a teacher plays the piano and sings and dances with the toddlers), gym, goes on walks to a nearby duck-pond to feed the ducks. She has learnt in daycare to put her plate in the sink (yes, they have tiny sinks toddler height), clean the table clean after she eats and a whole lot of other things I would never have expected my 2 year old to do!
Nanny:
My husband and I did not really explore this option too well. We had this prejudice as to how it would not be safe, how can we trust our baby with this one individual? Yeah-yeah nanny-cams etc exist but they are not foolproof.
+ Child stays at home in a familiar environment
+ Not exposed to many outsiders, so will probably not fall ill quite as much
+ I have been told Nannies do laundry and wash and sanitize bottles, etc. This used to take up a lot of time for me and I think having help with this would be huge plus.
- Nanny may fall sick, need vacation, will you find back up coverage then?
- Can you really find someone you trust to leave your house and baby alone with?
I did meet a lady who had found herself an Indian nanny. Basically and elderly lady who could not drive (yeah a big factor, at least you know the baby is not leaving the house without your knowledge, or your moppet is not a ring-side spectator to the nanny and her boyfriend making out). Her nanny also made rotis and a vegetable for dinner, but most of us are not so lucky. If you do happen to have someone like this, stop reading right here, and confirm employment for the nanny!
Again what you pay for a nanny varies, there was one lady I had spoken to who charged $2800 and health insurance was negotiable! I have heard from friends that in the Portland area one would typically pay about $1500-1700 for a nanny.
Homecare:
This option is typically a stay at home mom, who cares for a few other children in addition to her own. I would love to hear from others about this option. I think it has some cons of both daycare and nanny and again some benefits of both.
+ Less children (I would think 3-4 at most), Less children means your child will fall sick less often than at daycare
+ Will probably be more flexible timings.
- Still need to find alternate coverage when the caretaker is ill or on vacation.
My daughter A started daycare when she was quite young. Around the age of 1 she would cry every morning when I dropped her off. I felt miserable and even took 3 months off from work. I think in hindsight me keeping her home made her take longer to adjust. I did see a few times (and that made me feel better too) that she would stop crying as soon as I left the room. Her infant room had an external window. So I’d leave and walk around and peep in from the window, usually she would be fine, sometime she would even have placed herself at the table and would be feeding herself (in the 3 minutes after I left the room)! I now have the reverse problem, if I pick her up early when they go to the daycare park and is playing, I have a hard time dragging her home :-)
When I decided to go with daycare, I thought social interaction would be good for her. In hindsight, I don’t think social interaction really mattered the first 12 or 18 months and think a nanny would have been good for the first year. It's only now (after my child was 18 months) I think daycare is a no-questions-asked winner. My only qualm with daycare was A fell sick very often. I only assume this would not have been the case had she been with a nanny or at a homecare. The first winter was the worst and the second has been exponentially better. There is really no right or wrong decision. Future mommies, feel free to ask if you have any questions and seasoned mommies, chip in with your thoughts on this issue!
From a mother to another
(This post is written by Reena of Spices of Kerala )
I am a mother of 3 year old girl. As Sandeepa mentioned in her opening post my mind is at that age too. Each day I am learning a new thing from my daughter. She makes it a point to hug whenever she is happy. I call her my filmy daughter :)). But the truth is that whenever I get a warm hug from her it brightens my day.
When I saw the invitation for this new group for mommies I thought this is a great way to bond. It is a great way to reach out to another mother too. So my first post is to all those new mothers who need warm hugs for those sleepless nights, a shoulder to cry on when you want to scream, an ear to listen when you want to share, a lap to keep your head on when you are tired. It is difficult being a new mother especially in a place far away from the support of your mother and dear ones. The fortunate ones have the support of their mothers for at least first 5 or 6 months after child birth but then you are on your own. What can we do to help them?
1. If you have a new mother as a friend or relative then please offer your help in the form of food or babysitting.
2. Show your support by meeting them whenever you can and share their woes.
3. We always shower the pregnant woman with baby gifts on baby shower instead try gifting something to the mommy like a spa gift card, facial or something they can use to cheer them when they feel miserable.
Please share more pointers and I will edit this post to add those.
4. Asha's suggestion: Offer help to take care of the older child if the new mother has more than one child.
5. Trupti's suggestion: Lend hand in cleaning house.
Quoting Howard Johnson M-O-T-H-E-R
"M" is for the million things she gave me,
"O" means only that she's growing old,
"T" is for the tears she shed to save me,
"H" is for her heart of purest gold;
"E" is for her eyes, with love-light shining,
"R" means right, and right she'll always be,
Put them all together, they spell "MOTHER," A word that means the world to me.
Note: I edited the post to add Asha and Trupti's suggestions.
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