Showing posts with label Mother's day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mother's day. Show all posts

Monday, May 18, 2009

What it takes to be a good mother

My choice of mothers for the Mother's Day event at DMC may be a little unusual, but bear with me...

Many years ago, on a shivering cold, rainy monsoon day, a cat landed up at our drawing room window. At the time we stayed in a government bungalow which had deeply recessed windows at an almost 2 foot depth, so it sheltered the cat very well from the rain and she gave birth to two kittens. One of them died that very night, sadly, but the other one lived and graciously allowed us to look after him whenever his Royal Majesty pleased.

We observed after some time that our cat, Sphinx, was always highly alert on Saturday mornings, at about 10:00 am. I don't know if he could tell time, but we could have told it by his behaviour. Bang at 10 am, every saturday morning, Sphinx would clamour to be out in the garden, and would sit there, every muscle focused, whiskers quivering with excitement. And every Saturday morning, without fail, dropping all her other commitments, his mom would come, on the dot of 10 am.

The two of them would have a gala time, running and chasing each other by turns, jumping through the tall grass in our somewhat overgrown garden, leaping up at flowers, playing roll-me-over, giving in to the irrepressible joy of meeting again in the most physical way possible. And then, the two of them, tired out from the hullabaloo, would curl up in the shade of the peach tree, all snarled up so you couldn't tell where the mother cat ended and the baby cat began, and take a peaceful nap, before momma had to get back to her usual job.

It was amazing to see with what regularity this happened, and to feel the joy of the two cats. All too often, one hears that cats are unemotional, practicalt creatures, more conscious of their own creature comforts than anything else. But this instance was almost an object lesson, about creating quality time for your child, and letting nothing - no deadline, no dead mouse - come in the way.

Years later, our servant had kept a Spitz as a pet but once it got pregnant, he realised that he didn't want to spend the money on getting her proper treatment through the process so my sister took on the job. We had to rush her to a vet all the way out in NOIDA, a good 1 hour's drive away from our then home, not to mention feed her motion sickness pills and later give her lots of vitamins and supplements to replace those she didn't get as a young puppy. She had 8 puppies, two male and 6 female, though one of the males died soon after birth.

We put out a cardboard box lined with an old, soft, cotton sari for the puppies, and the mother took amazing care of them. She was barely a year old herself at the time, much too young to have kids. She used to sit with them for the first couple of weeks, and then, as they grew up a little, she loved walking around the huge lawns of the house. Every time she came anywhere near the pups, all 7 would start mewling at her in the most plaintive way and she'd have to lie there and feed them for hours. As they became older and stronger, we could tell that she was getting really irritated with the whole feeding process, not to mention tired out, but apart from a few teeth-baring incidents, she did her job as a mom. This actually carried on till we took her to the vet for a postnatal check and found out that since she hadn't been given the right supplements when a baby, her feeding the pups was actually weakening her own bones.

Watching her in action with the pups was incredible. One may say whatever one wants about animal instinct, but she, at her young age, was so giving of herself, literally and figuratively. It was a great lesson about what it takes to be a mom - dedication and the ability to put someone else's welfare ahead of one's own.


We wound up adopting her and her son, since the servant didn't have the means to take proper care of them. We're grateful we still have this mother around, a matriarch now at 14 ( 98 dog years), and only hope she stays on with us a little longer. And though since then she's gone on to bite almost everyone in the family at least once, except Dad, we still rate her one of the best moms ever!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mothers Day

with Maggi Noodles and a small picnic.

Friday was Mother’s Day Tea at S’s pre-school. It was a rainy and dull morning but that one hour in her school pepped me up. It has been a year since S has been going to this pre-school and she is comfortable there now, I too know most of her class mates and some Moms unlike last year. So it was a happy one hour accompanied with iced tea and munchkins, it was another thing that S devoured 2 of mine. They then gave us the surprises they had made for us.




Photobucket


I knew about the art, but the cute photo frame made of popsicle sticks and stick-ons with a picture of S in the playground was a real surprise.
A day before S had told me, she has a surprise for me at school and she was not supposed to tell me what it is. In the next 5 minutes she had whispered in my ears, that when her teacher asked, “Why she loves her Mommy”
she had said “’Coz Mommy makes good food for me” :-)
She had drawn me and herself going to the restaurant and eating noodles that apparently I had cooked. Huh ? This girl doesn't want to miss out on the restaurant inspite of Mom's cooking, maybe she likes to have a backup plan.




Photobucket



Today Little S wanted to go to the park and I didn’t want to go to a crowded restaurant either so we decided on an impromptu picnic. Since there was hardly any time in hand, I made Maggi Noodles with eggs and some veggies, a favorite in our home and D made some sandwiches with fish sticks, cucumber and mustard and off we went to the nearest state park where the day turned out to be apparently cold and chilly.



Photobucket
S had fun and I always like a green view better than anything, so it was not all that bad and a nice way to spend a lazy Sunday


Maggi Noodles is an easy and quick lunch for my daughter too and she likes it even when I pack it for school. Of course she need huge amount of ketchup with it.

Easy Maggi Noodles

Boil the Noodles according to the package direction. Do not add the spices/seasoning in the packet. Drain the noodles and wash off the starch in cold water and toss with a little olive Oil
In a pan, heat Olive oil, add sliced onions and fry till pink. Add chopped tomatoes and sauté till soft. Add an egg and stir to scramble it. Add veggies (carrots, peas, beans or whatever you have, which have been steamed) to this.Add chopped green chillies if your kid is ok with it.
Sauté for a couple of minutes and add half of the Masala/seasoning that comes in the packet. Add salt and the Maggi Noodles.
Mix well and serve with Ketchup.
This serves as a good lunch to be packed for kids too

Hope all you Mommies had a fun Mothers Day.

(This post shared with Bong Mom's Cookbook my other blog)

In My Daughter's Eyes...

I do not listen to much of Country but this song touched a lot and it is such a beautiful song, I want to dedicate this to all the mothers with Daughters and otherwise also...My mom is my best friend and am very lucky to have her! If I could be just one percent of the mother of what she was to me, I have achieved something!

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I want to be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes
Everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light
And the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me
Gives me strength when I'm weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
Is had enough
It's givin' more when you feel like givin' up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes
I can see the future
A reflection of who I am
And what we'll be
And though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone
I hope you'll see
How happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes


* A Martina McBride Song.
Song is here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLS0Y40WwlA. Please listen as it is such a beautiful one!

Happy Mothers Day to one and all!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

My career as a mom : For Mother's May

This post is by Poppins of http://babiesanon.blogspot.com

This post, while late is for Mother's May. It is a story of my growth as a mom. My own tribute to my wonderful mother is here...

DH loves kids and has always loved them. I never noticed them until I had my own. When I got married I declared to DH that I would never want to have a baby. Now that I read so many mommy bloggers, I find a lot of folks felt the same way.

But of course, as time went by and my biological clock ticked louder and louder, I decided to give in and have a baby. And once I made up my mind, I wanted to do it oh-so-perfectly. How naive of me to think that there was only one 'perfect' way to raise a child.

I decided to start with having a perfect pregnancy, which did not quite happen. Due to complications, poppin was premature, and overnight I was a mother to a frail 3.5 lb baby. And if you have never seen a baby that small, let me tell you - it can freak you out. Especially since no one I knew personally had ever had such a small baby.

I loved poppin from the start. I know that some moms will disagree that it happens, but it does. Maybe it was because she was so frail and did not even have the energy to cry but I felt fiercely protective and crazily in love with her from the moment she took to my breast.

I was a crazy sort of mom those first few months, feeding her round the clock, never letting her cry. I also got obsessive about milestones, always on the lookout for problems. That phase ended when at 4 months, poppin topped her weight charts and looked all set to meet the milestones of her peers.

So far it had been easy because all I had to do was stuff poppin's mouth. It was after this that I became an insecure mom. Because around this time, poppin was more interested in the world around her and she was responding to people. All people, especially DH and my mom. But not me. Having had no interest in babies before, I did not know how to coo or do baby talk. I always felt silly doing it and mostly tried to imitate my mom in the privacy of my feeding sessions.

My mom and DH were both naturals at it and managed to get poppin's first laughs, babbling, chortles, coos and smiles. I got nothing except spit up and tears. The tears were mostly mine. I did not love my baby any less but I felt more and more worthless as a mom.

I did not know how to pat her to sleep, it was my mom who did that. I never knew how to comfort her when she cried (without using the breast), DH knew it instinctively. I think that was a low point in my career as a mom. Sometime around that time, my mother went on a month long vacation to the sibling's house. And then it was just me and poppin during the day. I read tonnes of books on parenting and nervously, somehow I found my groove as a mom.

My own style, different from mom's and DH. That was when I became a condescending know-it-all mom. I was like 'My way or the highway'. When my mom came back from vacation, she was harassed by me for patting poppin to sleep. Or for carrying her a lot. Or for putting her to sleep at 6 pm in the evening. Or for asking me to feed her when poppin woke up at 2 AM. I has just gained confidence as a mom and there was no way I was giving in an inch !

This phase continued for the longest time - between poppin's 5 months to getting a year old. Sometimes, I think that there are still remnants :) Around the time poppin was 10 months old, I went back to work and was a nervous wreck when I was in office. What if my mom didn't do it exactly the way I did it? Slowly I realised that there were many other, completely acceptable ways to do it. And my mom with her years of experience, has solved many a problem that I couldn't.

And I like to think that I am now a confident, happy mom. I love poppin, I face challenges with her which I solve with the help of my mom, DH, mother-in-law and with all the advice of co-bloggers. I learnt that it really does take a village to raise a child. I think poppin senses my laid back confidence and, ahem, I have uprooted DH as the most favourite person in her world. yay !

I find it strangely appropriate that I was disappointed when I did not get a Mother's day cheesy card last year, but did not even remember Mother's day this year. When you're blessed with a loving mother and are comfortable in your own identity as a mom, it is truly Mother's day every day.

Monday, May 14, 2007

New mom on the block!

Hello to all the momz of DMC and a very happy mother's day to you all!

A few quick words about me, living in Bangkok, under the tiny thumb of my 13 month old daughter, fondly referred to as Moppet, whose daily exploits can be found at my blog called - what else! - Moppet Tales

And what do I do when I'm not kowtowing to Her Little Highness, or polluting the blogosphere with extravagant punctuation?

Nothing much, really. A former corporate type, who gave it all up to become a flunk to a different and far more demanding little boss, I am currently enjoying the luxuries (?!) of stay-at-home motherhood. Now of course, I will be adding 'spending time at the Club' to my list of daily activities : -)

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Happy Mother's Day, Ma!!

(Posted by Cee Kay who can also be found at My Two Cents)

And nothing else comes to mind :( I have been planning to put up a "Mother's day" post for a long time to share how and why MY mother is the best. And now I can't think of how to put all these emotions into a post. This is to SHOUT OUT TO THE WORLD that "My mom is special!! She is THE BEST!" I thank God every so often that I was born to MY parents 'coz there couldn't be any better ones out there!

And a special mention goes to S - my darling daughter who, as I explained it to her this morning, deserves all the credit for making this day super special for me because it is due to her that I get celebrated on Mother's day. Thank you darling, for being the most precious gift for me on this day and every other!

Couldn't forget J's mom now, could I? Mummy, I know J loves you very much. He just doesn't know how to put it in words. So I am saying it to you on his behalf - Love you and thank you for doing all that you did for your kids!! And from me? Thank you for giving me this wonderful life partner!

To ALL mothers out there - HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

(Note: I have also put this post up on my blog My Two Cents)

An addition and hence an Intro!

Post by K3 mom

Hi mommies,
Happy Moms day to all.

A nice day to start blogging on being a mom don't you think? I chanced upon this site a week ago, and thought it would be nice to have a seaparate space to blog on my children and just on being a mom. ..and to do it with a whole lot of other moms should be fun!

So here I am.
Live in US with my husband and children. I love being mom to my 3 children. K1 -11 years old, K2 - 10 years old, and K3 - who will be 3 years old in a couple of weeks. I know! :)
I am pretty sure some of you have your eyebrows raised and some are going "what?!" - that's always the case and though initially there was a bit of discomfort on the reaction, I now am just plain amused at the 'shock value' of my motherhood. My 3rd was a surprise and what an adorable one she turned out to be. She's the darling of the family and we are enjoying our bundle every minute.
..and before you start thinking am a grand old lady, no, am in mid 30's and by the looks of it most of us seem to be just about there.

I wear many hats. Apart from juggling basketball games, Odyssey of theMind coach, Lego league mentor, Chauffeur, chef, enthusiast, motivator for my kids, I do all I can to keep myself busy.

That's all from me now, I hope to interact regularly with all you fine moms.
Have a wonderful day.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Happy Mothers Day Sale

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Little S knows all about Mothers Day. By "about" I don’t mean the history or the Hall Mark-ing of it but she knows there is a day like this when you are supposed to give your Mom cards etc. before you throw the usual tantrum. When she was 16 months, it was my first Mother's Day as a Mom and D took her to get me a card and Mom’s Day gift. I got a funny card with a mirror and a dangly sparkly kind of bracelet in some abstract color which is not something I take to wearing. When I asked D why he got that thing, he said because S pointed it out!!! So last year I took it upon myself to get me something sensible crediting the money spent and joy of gift giving to D of course. The most precious thing though was the card little S made in school for Mother’s day.

Since S is a 3 year old now with much more sense and I am a lover of good gifts, I was dreaming that maybe she will point out to the dazzling ruby and diamond bracelet or the Coach handbag at Macy’s when D takes her to buy the Mom’s Day gift instead of pointing to some arbitrary stuff .

So yesterday I told S with a lot of enthu – “You know Mothers Day is this month”
She said – “Oh when is it?” (In Bengali she said “Kobe re?” with the right inflection)
So I showed her the calendar and the day and asked her – “What do you want to do on the day?”
She flung her small soft arms around me and said “I want to hug you” !!!
Holding her tightly the commercialized Mom in me said “ What else ?”
She said “ It will be your holiday so you won’t have work and I want to sit in your lap all day”

I was ashamed, yeah downright ashamed. While I was thinking of gifts all this tiny creature wanted was to love me and be with me. Amidst all the days work its true that I don't always get time to be just with her. So even when I am physically around and it may seem I am spending time with her, I am multitasking and feeding her while chopping veggies or sneaking a peek at the blogs while talking to her. I don't really just sit with her for long. Even if I do for a little while I am prone to say " Chal chal anek kaj ache" (Let's get going I have lots to do). Soon she will grow up and this is not what she will want from me. So as long as she asks for it maybe I should set aside my chores and just sit and enjoy and smell the freshness of her innocence. (Ok it may not work out as beautiful as it sounds because this 3 year old is an active imp and before long you may see me panting and gasping for air, a far cry from "smelling innocence" but at least I should make an effort)

I was never a fan of Valentines Day, but I liked Mothers Day since even being far I would send my Mother small gifts which I thought showed my love for her and it also meant “one more occasion” to get some loot for myself. But maybe even all my Mom wanted was just to be with me (or maybe she preferred the gifts which were more useful than the adult me , I never asked)

So between my Mother and my little daughter was I the one caught in the Hall Mark warp, totally discounting the actual essence of the day and concentrating on the screaming Mothers Day Sale banners instead.

To change my attitude this year I asked D to not get me a gift for Mother's Day, instead if the weather is good we will pack a lunch and have a "picnic" somewhere and enjoy the day as it comes
(D if you are reading this, you can give me gift on all other occasions, do not take this to your benefit. I am thinking of the child here remember !!!)

Happy Mother's Day to my Ma who has always been a good friend, has helped me through all my growing years including my studies, stood by me when I wanted to take up job in another city, stood by me in most of my life's decisions and done for me a lot more that I can ever imagine doing for her. I really feel bad that being far I am not really able to do for her as I should have as a grown up daughter in their day to day life. But she doesn't complain and neither expects anything from me. Hope to be a similar mother for S to be happy in her happiness and not expect much....

Happy Mothers Day to my Ma-in-law who has been very good to me

Happy Mothers Day to myself and to all you Moms
(This post shared with Bong Mom's CookBook)

Mom..........i luv u

(This post is from Ramya of Aromas of my food)
I am reproducing this post from my blog click here.
Every time i start writing a post i think a lot and put a little in the post in-order to make it short and simple.And sometimes i start eating up some words and other times my daughter just deletes the entire content i wrote.I will get very angry but when i look at her face which has a smile on it as the answer for my angry question i melt like ice.Though i am short tempered i make sure it doesn't hurt her.May be this is the motherly feeling i have deep inside me.But when it comes to my Mom i used to shout on top of the world Ooh.......yes now u r telling me what i should do or eat,How i should be.May be lot of girls do this at the young age when we r growing up and don't like their old stereotype lectures,or culture bothered discussions.whatever the reason may be i am sure once in a life we would have done that.But Moms r like ice who just try hard to make us understand what's good whats bad so that they can protect us as far as they can.which we r experiencing right now even my daughter is just 2 yr old i can understand my Moms feelings."ONLY A MOTHER CAN UNDERSTAND A MOTHER"--------This saying is 100% true.But when we get to know the value of moms in our life we r deep into ur relations and don't find time for them living so far from them.Is this stay here worth it.When the time is right we don't have them at ur side.We do call them and wish them but can't express our heart out what we feel or how we feel behind the conversations of our children, hubby dear and all comes over the phone and most of all these little kids occupy larger place than us,but not the actual thing we want to talk.I still remember the days when i am getting ready to school/college my mom and dad used to feed my breakfast doing rounds and pampering to eat little more.i can count n fingers the days i ate myself,the sleepless nights they have spent when we r ill.when we r in stage to help them we r so far away and can reach them in a instance.But hats-off to this technology which is far more better than their days.Now i just say why don't u both quit ur jobs as we both r settled but forget the fact if they do that they feel much lonely even they have their grand kids around the life they r leading from my birth will just be gone in 1sec.what is the tribute we r giving to them after the long journey.May be we r not understanding our parents.yha we can't help anything.
Happy Mother's Day Mom.................I love u........I want a bearhug from u.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Pioneers at the Breakfast Table

This post was sent to me by Moushumi Chakrabarty a very accomplished journalist, writer, anthologist and a poet based in Ontario, Canada. She is a mother of two girls whose anecdote she shares with us. Its a funny Motherhood moment and all of us with small kids, now we know what is coming.....

*************************************************************************************

Pioneers at the Breakfast Table



It's the gasp that gets your goat. The other day I was yawning down the stairs, yet to indulge in the first sip of Java, when I realized that my two daughters were whispering and snickering. One's a smart-alecky fourteen, the other, at ten, is just beginning to grow those claws.

"What?" I bark, weaving my way through the kitchen floor. Every morning, the coffee percolator seems to be moving further away from my grasping hands.

Another snigger, a snort of suppressed laughter and widely innocent eyes. I ran my hand over the remaining strands of hair. I was reasonably sure no horns were poking out through my scalp. I distinctly recall brushing, flossing and then rinsing out my mouth. Though my memory was not knife-sharp, some things couldn't be overlooked. I looked southwards quickly. Yes, thank God, I did remember to pull up my pj's before coming down to the kitchen.

With a sigh, I plugged in the joy-giving machine and leaned forward with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

"So, will you two tell me what's the big deal?"

The bubbling of the coffee always made me feel expansive. I could see myself sitting down with these two at the breakfast table and spending quality time with them. I read somewhere it's very important to do so. Otherwise they may, at some later stage in life when you've become famous, suddenly start giving interviews to the tabloids. A brief horrific vision flashed before my eyes: a tabloid screaming with "I was a lonely unloved child" headline.

Enid Blyton's children did it, as did a previous President's daughter. I'm not saying I could be either of the two. But in these decadent days, it's best to be prepared for any eventuality.

"Mom, were Barbies around when you were a child?"
I raised my eyebrows while pouring out the coffee. My favourite mug philosophically accepted another layer of the staining liquid.
I pondered a while, sipping and inhaling at the same time. Then I decided that honesty is the basis of all relationships that matter.
"Er no, not exactly. You see, Barbie dolls are a very recent phenomenon. We used to play with rag dolls…"
A shriek of laughter jolted me badly.
"Rag dolls, oh my God, you poor things!" Ritu, my youngest offspring splutters into her milk and cheerios.
A dim realization crept up on me that it wasn't sympathy she was offering.
"What's so funny about rag dolls?" I ask belligerently.

Sipping the Java gives me a shot that gallops through my sleepy synapses. Curling my lips in disdain, I elaborated, "You people can't even imagine how much fun rag dolls were. For one, you could bend them any way you wanted to. Even if your little brother decided he didn't think arms ought to fall straight, it was ok with the doll. She still smiled and accommodated him. Nowadays, these delicate dolls, one twist and a body part snaps. Pah!"

Mimi, the older one piped in, "We're, like, doing this Pioneer thing at school? It's really cool what you guys played with and stuff."
"Pioneers?" I screamed in horror. "You youngsters have no idea about history timelines. Pioneers were way back, don't you know that?"
My heart was exceeding the pace it raced by during a Richard Gere movie. Something fundamental in me had been touched.
"Aw, cool it, mom! Which year were you born anyway?"
This from the infant whose dirty diapers I willingly changed.
Taking a deep breath, I announced shyly, "It was…1966."
Like I told you, the gasp was the killer.

MOUSHUMI CHAKRABARTY
Bio - Moushumi Chakrabarty is the author of 'Fighting for Women's Rights: The Extraordinary Adventures of Anna Leonowens'. She lives with her family in Ontario, Canada, as well as on http://www.moushumichakrabarty.com/.
*************************************************

In Memories....

Memories are all I have left of my mother, we lost her at a very young age, when I was 13, and my brother was only 6. Not a single day goes by when I don't think of her. My day starts off by looking at her picture first thing in the morning. She gives me strength, though she is not with me physically.....and I know in my heart, that I am where I am today, just because of her. She was a talented individual, with a beautiful name- Shridevi and a Devi she was, indeed. When my father and I catch up over tea or lunch(he lives right up the street from me), there is never a day that we don't talk about her and our memories of her.....sometimes, she comes to us in our dreams, sometimes- I get a whiff of her signature perfume- Coco Chanel, other times we just look at old photographs..this is our way of coping with the greatest loss in our lives.

I don't want to say too much.....but for me, Mother's day didn't mean that much to me until I became one four years ago...and I have realized that the greatest and the purest love of all is between a parent and a child. Nothing else comes even close.

I wish you ALL a Happy Mother's day and especially to my Stepmother( I HATE that word)- Sudha, who is a Godsend,and treats my children as her own, my DaxaFoi- my aunt who was our pillar, she moved her family from England to take care of us all during our rough times,and of course, to my mother in law, Padma, who, treats me like a daughter than a "bahu" of the house.

Take care of yourselves for your children, and your mother figures in your lives. This life is too short for Petty differences- it really is.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

My Mom and my motherhood...

First of all , it is really hard to come up with something nice and clever to write about motherhood after all the wonderful things that have been said here already by all other members of the club. I am in deep awe reading all your thoughts with respect to what some of you have gone through personally with your own motherhood and the relationship with your mothers. Some amazing posts!

With respect to my own motherhood, I tried to do a bollywood style flashback and visualize if there were really any spectacular moments that stood out the last five years in fulfilling my role as a mother. I've been thinking about it REAL hard the last one week, and I should say there are hardly any that I can take any credit for in my role as a mother.

As a mother of two little girls , to me, I am taking baby steps with my own motherhood, and it is evolving at every stage - to learn to bring my family as the centerpiece of my attention and focus. As much as I enjoy the fact that I give my children my maximum time and attention, there are also moments when I feel anxious about a few issues and primarily these
1)not being able to pursue a career outside of home and do justice to my gradschool education, which I had pursued with so many dreams. Just a matter of time and taking it easy, but life takes interesting turns for a few and for me interesting moves - which have really helped my persepectives grow!
2) doing the mundane chores that don't involve spending time with my kids but nevertheless have to be done to run a family - that still is a real big challenge to me, and doesn't come naturally at all! ( I know I'm totally the minority club person here - there have been many a night I just walk out of the kitchen like a kid would do after dinner without loading up the dishwasher or cleaning up the floor/countertop - how gross is that - but hey - you are welcome to my swamp anytime unlike shrek's!! )
3) I may sound a little selfish here - to get time for myself to do little things alone- take a walk, read a book sitting alone, do yoga etc. etc. really some quiet time!

Anyways - those are my personal issues that I need to learn how to tackle better, and get clarity on. I am working hard at those. But there's something that I want to think about seriously this mother's day - as in - I want to make some vows this mother's day and keep 'em up, particularly after I move to my new place this summer - Here they are in general - Work toward serenity, and tranquility in mind and space!! (Please don't forget to remind me about this and I will get to it once I settle down - vows evaporate easy from memory,don't they?)

Coming to my mother's life and reflecting upon my relationship with her, there are so many, so many positive memories with her and I look forward to lot more of those. But having said that, there have also been tons of those "get irritated with your mother at the drop of a hat" kind of relationship with her and still is at times. Our relationship has evolved, and we don't judge each other as much as we used to before - like I would question every conservative tradition of hers, and she would look down upon me for NOT being a "stereotypical married woman who would wear mangalsutra, bindi etc.." ( she was never imposing - thanks to my dad's liberal outlook - but sometimes she can be really annoying with her "follow traditions" kind of thinking - she has changed a lot or rather washed her hands off me?...)

Coming to the positives, I have deeply admired my mother for her optimism, energy, and common sense. She is not that highly educated but she is such a confident woman and fun to be around! We discuss social issues, and poltiics and she will have some interesting points to make most of the time! We joke about relatives (:-))) and at times, gossip to the point that I start feeling disgusted with myself and my mother!! All this we got to do during her trips to the US - thanks to my staying at home last year - we caught up on SO many family stories that I would have never heard! Really those are the recent highlight moments for me with respect to my relationship with her mother! :-) She is so enterprising and creative in and out of the kitchen and just a lovely,lovely person with a gleaming smile!

After all those boring personal stories, here's something I wanted to share as a general point as to what I think about my own motherhood - I am sure I am going to ramble at explaining this and I don't know if I am going to make sense - here I go in any case -
I'm sure we all have seen those gifts that people pack in those nested boxes and bury the "real" gift in the smallest box where you have to keep unwrapping box after box, and you know, there's some box with the gift hiding in there - usually the last one - that has the real gift...You are excited about opening each box and keep working hard at it. It is fun, yet you also think "Why did they have to make it so hard ?" That's how I've been feeling about my own motherhood and parenting in general! Each stage is like opening a box (sometimes a pandora's box too hiding inside somewhere!) Lots of anxieties and hardwork at each step in the process, while at the same time knowing very well you're working toward something positive and meaningful. You know it is all for a good cause, and the gift of knowing in the end you've done a good job of raising good children is more precious than any gift you would ever receive in any box! (that doesn't mean I don't get gifts this mother's day - I actually got mine already!!! :-))

That's it from me! Have a great mother's day, and have a wonderful weekend!

Praba

A Special Day For Mommies

(This post is written by Meeta of The Daily Tiffin)

The family
is like a garden
with joy
for all to share,
With tender, growing blossoms
that thrive on love
and care,
And when
the flowers are gathered
for a very special day,
They make
a bright and beautiful
happiness bouquet.


by Mary Loberg

This is one of my favorite poems describing a family and what it means to have a family. I got it on a beautiful card last year from my son!

I'll be celebrating Mother's Day for a the fifth time this Sunday!

However, it is particularly this year that I am really taking this actively in. Why? Well probably this year my son is also old enough to understand what each individual parent can offer him. As a mommy my love, affection and provisions for my son are different as those to what his daddy gives him. Sure we both are very eager about his well being and welfare and always have his best interests in minds. But each parent provides differently for their child.

This year I too am also understanding what it meant for my mum to raise me. I may not have been the easiest of kids to raise but I think she did a wonderful job. I am seeing myself mirror in Soeren in so many situations, that makes me open my eyes as to the efforts my own mother put in raising me.

All this made me curious as to where Mother's Day tradition actually originated from. So, began my little research. I wanted to share this with you as I know there are many mommies out there reading this today. Instead of gift ideas and card ideas, I thought it would be nice to go back to the roots and see where this tradition came from.

There really is a history to Mother's Day and it is not something invented in the meeting rooms of card manufacturer's!

Tributes to mothers can be traced back to ancient Greek times when their annual spring festival dedicated to the mother of many deities, Rhea, was celebrated. The ancient Romans made offerings to their Great Mother of Gods, Cybele. In the 1600's, England celebrated a day called "Mothering Sunday", which is celebrated on the 4th Sunday of Lent and honored the mothers of England. Mother's Day in England today is still celebrated on this day.

In the United States, Mother's Day actually started approximately 150 years ago, when Anna Jarvis, an Appalachian homemaker, organized a day to raise awareness of poor health conditions in her community. She believed this cause would be best advocated by mothers and called it "Mother's Work Day."

When Anna Jarvis died in 1905, her daughter, Anna Marie Jarvis, began a campaign to memorialize the life work of her mother. Anna is said to have remembered a Sunday school lesson that her mother gave in which she said,
"I hope and pray that someone, sometime, will found a memorial mother's day. There are many days for men, but none for mothers."

Anna lobbied her cause to prominent businessmen and politicians including Presidents Taft and Roosevelt to support her campaign to create a special day to honor mothers. In 1908, one of the first services was organized to celebrate Anna's mother in her church in West Virginia. Anna handed out her mother's favorite flowers to the attending guests - white carnations. In 1914 Anna's hard work paid off when Woodrow Wilson signed a bill recognizing Mother's Day as a national holiday.

Initially, people celebrated Mother's Day by attending church, writing letters to their mothers, and eventually, by sending cards, presents, and flowers. With the increasing gift-giving activity associated with Mother's Day, Anna Jarvis became enraged. It was her belief that the day's sentiment was being sacrificed at the expense of greed and profit. She even filed a lawsuit to a Mother's Day festival. Before her death in 1948, Jarvis is said to have confessed that she regretted ever starting the mother's day tradition.

Today, Mother's Day has flourished all over the world. In fact, many countries have their own specific day where Mother's Day is celebrated. Sons and daughters take advantage of this day to honor and to express appreciation of their mothers.

You will find the original post with photo and resources here.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Happy Mothers Day Amma!!


"All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother"

- Abraham Lincoln quotes

Every mom is a super mom. My mom was there for me and my sis all the times. All that we are today is because of her. She is everything for us.

There are so many things to tell about her and to write, she is the best in everything and a role model for us. She is a wonderful writer (many of her articles and stories are published in magazines), also she writes articles for Bakthi Magazine (Devotional articles) an artist her paintings and sketches mesmerize us. My sis stored all them carefully. God has gifted her beautiful voice and she sang for AIR few times. She is soft spoken person and never hurts anyone. I have so many things to write about her but all that I can say is “MOM” you rock. She wrote lullabies for my lil one for cradle ceremony and poem on him.

"Happy Mothers Day to all the mom's".

Picture courtesy from Hallmark

M a hole Bujhbi (You have to be amother to understand)

Hi all,
Happy Mothers day to all of us!
All the posts related to this topic are so touching...actually we can relate to all the incidents...that makes it so much more touching...
my few lines on this.......

One thing which came to my mind immediately after "A" was born was "I will never ever say anything against my mother from now on!!"

My mom did not work..so we(me and my brother) had a "full time " mother. So when we came home , ma was always there. She scolded us quite often, even thrashings were not rare.
[she now admits that her patience level is low! ;-)) ]
She was very strict on things like playing outside in the evenings till dark.
1. "shondher aage bari ashbe..amake jeno daak te na hoy [come home before dark...dont let me call you]"
2. "Chitrahaar dekhar boyosh hole ami nijei tomader dakbo [when your age is right for watching chitrahaar, I will call you myself]"
3. "Thalay jeno khabar pore na thake [ no leftovers on the plate!!]"
...
.......
..........
These words are so deeply embedded in my head now...that even while I write them...i can almost HEAR them...believe me!!!
;-)
At that point of time...it was almost like having a "cruel" mother....especially when the next day at school quite a few of my friends started discussing the chitrahaar, I felt so stupid and dumb!!
always thought how "lucky"those friends were to have a mother like that!!

With age and maturity, I came to understand that all these things which appeared "cruel and unnecessary" at that point, made me what I am today...and I am thankful for that!

Today, specially after I became a mom:
I feel the closest to her!
I can justify every action of hers .
All those thrashings/scoldings make sense.
Can really feel the difficulties she faced bringing us up!
Can really recognise and relate to all she did/does!
Miss the "small" things like massaging oil in my hair every saturday night....
....the list can just go on and on and on......

One very very important thing which she said was,[I realised the meaning/importance much later ]
"if a child is good, everyone says its MR. X's son/daughter, if the child is bad its always Mrs. Y's fault"...

......which is so so very true....even to this day!

Happy mothers day!!
CHEERS!!!
DR

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Mother's Bond is Special...

My Mom
'Mom' the word is enough to invoke happiness. I was always close to my mom, I don't have sisters nor do I have cousin sisters my age, so my mom was also my friend. She gave me the courage to pursue and explore what I wanted. One thing that is a constant in my life is I know she will always be there for me. This thought is enough to sustain me through some trying times (real or imagined).

Now I look at my relationship with my daughters and hope they will feel the same way as I do. Here is an incident that gives me strong hope that it will be that way....

Me as a Mom
Reading posts by Saraswathi, Tharini and comment by Asha I am literally on the side of the fence your moms are meaning my daughter is very close to her dad. I can assure you that does not make me feel bad or sad it is special to watch that kind of bond from up close. From the moment she was born, he was the first one to hold her (see I had a C-Section) so it took me a full half-day before I could get anywhere near her (I started with a kind of disadvantage in the competition just kidding...), even from month one, when he came home from work he got a special smile from her. She shared and still does share her inner most thoughts with him. (His advice to me you should stop talking to make her talk to you!) On a whim they would grab their sleeping bags to go watch stars laying in the backyard. Tucking her in bed, Bed time stories were all things he does. They seem to be dancing to the same music. He is a lot more patient than I ever will be. Even when he is absolutely busy he finds time to play and spend time with her.

On the other hand me and her always have arguments for some strange reason we never seem eye to eye. Even simple things like choosing a short sleeve shirt or long sleeve shirt is a war in itself.

Anyway it is not Father's Day why am I singing Dad' praises? So one day I had to go on a trip to the West Coast for a week. My thoughts were the oldest will be fine, she is daddy's girl anyway and probably would be happy to get me of her case for a few days and I was worried about the younger one who still needed me. The first morning I get a phone call from dear daughter saying good morning and how much she missed me. It was about 4.30AM and did not give it much thought. The five days I was there I always got a wakeup call from DD.

I came home and was surprised to hear from Daddy dearest that every morning she got up she had tears in her eyes reciting how much she missed our morning routine of getting ready, eating breakfast and the other minute things I never pay attention to and she remembered and missed them and the phone calls were what made her happy. I was even more surprised to hear same thing from her friend's mom who said she had tears in her eyes when she left for school saying she missed MOM.

The warm fuzzy feeling that spread through me is hard to put into words. As for daddy dearest I thing he was kind of surprised by the whole thing but he won't openly admit it.

The bond that a child shares with MOM is always SPECIAL. You may never see eye to eye, the relationship is rocky and hard but that bond will be there no matter what and it is STRONG.

Happy Mother's Day Everybody!

Friday, May 4, 2007

My Mother...

I have not come across a more noble person than my mom. She is someone who never speaks bad of any person, even someone who she knows has been not too kind about her. She finds something positive about everyone & concentrates on that. It leaves me in awe how someone in this day and age could be not affected by all the negativity and unpleasantness that surrounds us and still manages to maintain serenity and inner peace.

She has been a homemaker and has not had the opportunity to work outside of home, even though she has a Bachelor's degree. I wish she had though, as it would have done wonders to her self-confidence. For purely selfish reasons, as a young kid I was glad that she did not go to work. She was always there when we came home from school, keeping a snack ready for us to eat. Since my school was two streets away from home, I used to come home for lunch too and therefore had fresh home made food at every meal time. She has been socially active though, being a member of various community clubs. She was also in the Governing Council of a college and has kept herself busy with various activities. She is always there when anyone needs advice or help. In fact, even after I moved out of the house, my friends would come over just to talk to her.

She is practical, sensible and has a purity of heart unmatched by anyone I personally know. She can sew, knit, crochet and cooks like a dream! In short, she is Super Mom and I could not be prouder!

Who taught my infant lips to pray,
To love God's holy word and day,
And walk in wisdom's pleasant way?
My Mother.

And can I ever cease to be
Affectionate and kind to thee
Who wast so very kind to me-
My Mother
(Excerpts from "My Mother", a beautiful poem by Jane Taylor)

Finding my Mother...

[This post is written by Tharini of Winkie's Way]


This Mother's Day, my mother is right here by my side. I don't know after how many years this has come about. I don't even remember the last time we spent this day together, simply because there was no special memory for it. In all the years that I spent with my parents, I never really knew of the tradition of Mother's Day. It came to my notice only the year that I was married, thanks to all the media hype. And even then, I haughtily brushed it off as a new fangled western notion. After all, I loved my mother, I cherished her and I certainly didn't need just one particular day earmarked for the purpose. So another couple of years went by unnoticed.

There were times when my mother would ask me on a long distance call..."Aren't you going to wish me for Mother's Day?" And I'd quickly mumble 'Happy Mother's Day' for her benefit and then proceed to expostulate on how it is not part of our culture and tradition etc. She'd quietly chuckle and leave it at that.

Now we all know what usually follows next; how your own metamorphosis into motherhood makes you look at everything in a new light. And especially at the person who brought you forth to this experience. Well...in my case, it wasn't quite like that. I loved my Mom just as much as I ever did but I don't particularly remember overflowing with sentiment after embracing my own role as one.

Its a little complicated. My relationship with her is complicated. We were never particularly close as I grew up. My father was the epicenter of my life and my affections. He is a vibrant, extroverted, extremely intelligent, ruthlessly honest man, with whom I had the most natural and effortless chemistry. And it was hard to compete with that I guess. And my mother never tried. She is too simple a person. And very complicated in all her simplicity. She is straight as an arrow and yet you cannot guess easily at her thoughts or sense her emotions.

Even now as I write this, I cannot quite put my finger on what it is about her that I still don't get. I guess her upbringing has a lot to do with it. She grew up in a very rigid atmosphere, with very little independence and scope for self confidence. As a result, she is always a little insecure. Nevertheless, she was a working woman all her life and bold in so many ways in stepping out into the world. And yet, she could never stand her own in the midst of the various in-laws who've given her a hard time, and has lived her life in constant fear of their approbation or otherwise. Now if there is one thing I'd wish for from God, it is for her to live for herself. Without worrying about what others are going to say and think. Yet, despite the hold all these external influences have on her state of mind, she remains a stoic. [I said she was complicated, didn't I? :-)]

There have been times...many a times...when I have wished for a different sort of package in my mother...the kind who could have been my best friend, who could have talked about books and music with me, and so many other things...but as I sit down today and consciously think about her in lieu of writing this post, I realise something. This one thing that I have missed all along. That its not important to have the perfect kind of mother...the mother of all ideals. The crux of the matter is this...the kind of mother you have is the kind of mother you need. She comes as a gift to you from the divine authority...exactly moulded to your true inner needs, to help you self-actualise in this given life. She cannot be perfect because you cannot be perfect. But together, along with all the stumbling mistakes, you will both do some form of justice to your roles.

" The real religion of the world comes from women – from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms."


Now I don't know if I ever will get around to sharing this with her, because I am not quite sure if she will understand this. What I know instead is...whether it is in the confines of my heart, or through a simple hug every now and then, or a special gift, I love her, and always will. And for the simple reason that however hyped it may seem...it is occasions like this that give you the chance to stop and think. And feel and do. And confer love and gladden a heart. I know this now, because it would make me happy to be thought of as a mother by my children and to be made to feel special by them. Its not just about one single day. Its about love. The love that is consistent and steady but needs some upliftment and richness every once in a while to stand out...to break the mould of routine and sameness and be elevated to the annals of cherished memories. I hope I can always give my mother that!

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Mom moments

(This post was written by Reena of Spices of Kerala)

I have so many things to say and so much to write. But sometimes it is not the length of the words but small and simple expressions which state your mind and thoughts.

On this week of celebrating motherhood I am expressing my thoughts through this picture from the book that my 3 year old daughter M gifted me last year (then 2 years).

Happy Mother's Day

The bliss of Motherhood

(This post is written by ramya of www.ramyascuisine.wordpress.com)
Amma.........Mommy.......Mama...Ma........whatever language it may be we hear the same sound.It's very rhythmic.

Motherhood is a blissful experience that god showered on me.What can i say it actually changed me from a carefree person to a responsible one.I feel being mother changes a lot in the way of thinking,behaving,taking the responsibilities and maybe everything in life revolves only around little one's.we think about them in whatever decision we make.
Ya when she was born we r so afraid to hold her in our hands as she is so tiny and i felt is this real or a dream and finally ya its not a dream.I forgot the pain of my stitches they didn't bother me allot in the hurry to take her near me.I wanted to be near her and just look at her.
she is cute,
she is brittle,
she is wonderful,
she is the little angel,
she just walked into my life,
spreading the brightness of her laugh all over .

This is what i feel after having a baby only a mother can know about a mother.
We sheid our children from all the evil.we stand before it.
Coming to my Mom:My momma is the best.
Coming from a small village.She is well educated she was the first one to go so far in that village and next my aunt(pinni) my mom's sis also graduated . I say both my parents worked hard to make me and my brother what we r now.Hats off mom and dad.
She is a school teacher who moulded me into this person if she is not there i am not.
I remember those days i used to quarrel with her regarding studies,food,hair do,clothing almost everything but when we look back we have a hearty laugh.My mom says u changed a lot.ya i am a stubborn,straight headed girl.who wants to decide what she wants to wear or do which my mom does that for so many years .i didn't like her involvement then.i used to ask now u tell me what i should do.Yes i do have changed a lot.After my daughter came into the world.
But now i consult her before doing most of the things.I am what i am because of my mom and dad.Even my daughter when i am pregnant she cared a lot.She was there in every moment of my life.But i am not there to care for her.Can i even do half of what she has done to me.i would say i don't know.But i will try.Even my mom says the same.
I describe my mom as self made,straight forward,independent lovely woman who makes her own decisions.Thanks to my dad.We had a sweet nice little home like we two we have two.

And i like to mention my ammamma(grandma),aunt(pinni).As these r also behind me my well wishers and my grandma raised me till i go to school,and my aunt helped her.I salute them and love them a lot.As i was the only girl in both the families i had the butter and cream.i was the most looked after one.For me my mom and aunt ,ammamma all r same.My aunt is also a teacher.
What can i say mom's r the best.The world is because of moms how ever they be what ever they may be.We the moms that make the world a happy place.
This is my post for my amma,ammamma,pinni and my daughter.