A breath of cold, fresh air.

I am an easy mark when it comes to interesting book titles. I am very likely to pick up books at random, if they have catchy titles. Even if I may not judge a book by its cover, I certainly give a lot of points for the title. It is very difficult to give a title to your work that embodies the spirit of what you have written and conveys its intensity. So when I heard about The Mighty Queens of Freeville by Amy Dickinson, it certainly topped my to-read list. It took me a few years to get to it, but it reaffirmed my hypothesis of judging books! It is the most beautiful collection of essays collected in the form of a memoir. Though not strictly chronological in its narrative, it draws on a time line that is easy to follow. It is a fine line that an author has to walk when writing about one's own life. The "story" has to be interesting enough to hold the reader's attention while the subject has to be examined in detail with objectivity. In this book, Ms.Dickinson chronicles her journey from and back to her hometown, physically and figuratively in a manner that is unassuming and honest. The parts dealing with her divorce and early struggles in establishing herself while raising her daughter are candidly funny yet poignant. The narrative feels like you are sitting across the table from your friend, chatting over a (few) cup(s) of coffee. Her experiences of parenting, "dorkitude", living with aging family members and pets while making a life on her own come across as life lessons without being pretentious. The central theme of resilience and strength that comes from family ties almost feels like fiction. The descriptions of life in a small town in New York are so appealing that it makes you want to map it out and drive down for the weekend. I can't wait to read what Amy Dickinson writes next. Two-thumbs up!

Padma Venkatraman's Book Tour at DMC

Padma Venkatraman's writing is as multifaceted as her life: an eventful life that included wonderful experiences such as diving in the Indian Ocean, backpacking across Europe, directing a school in England, and leading research cruises on the Baltic Sea. She has written novels, biographies, picture books, poetry, scientific journal articles, and over a hundred popular science articles for children and adults. Padma Venkatraman was born in India but is now a United States citizen.

It is an honor to have her with us at DMC for her Book Tour Stop for her new novel CLIMBING THE STAIRS. You must have already read the review of this book by our dear member Praba, today she shares her experience of juggling writing and being a Mom with all of us at DMC.

Over to Padma...

Finding time to write when you are a (sleepwalking) parent

Sandeepa, it’s great to be your guest blogger today! Thanks for hosting me on my 4th stop on my very first blog book tour!

And hello, desi moms! If there are any non-desi moms out there who are wondering who a desi mom is, desi is…well…anyone of Indian heritage…that’s pretty accurate, I think…and a mom is…well…what a mum is on the American side of the Atlantic.

A desi mom is one who most likely doesn’t need to have the words “Jai Hind” translated, and one who, when she reads The Protest March chapter of CLIMBING THE STAIRS, can hear the crowd singing Vande Mataram and Sare Jahan Se Acha.The first thing I want to say is Namaskaram, Namaste, and hats off to all of you parents – it takes a parent to really respect what a huge responsibility parenthood is and how much time it takes.

For a few years now, I’ve been juggling science and writing…but now, it’s science, writing and baby…and that really is a new skill. How does one write when a baby yells? Here are 3 tips for those of you with writing aspirations that interfere with yelling kids. Or it the other way around?

1. Write everyday, even if you don’t write everyday.Keep in touch with subject matter mentally on days when you aren’t able to write. Think about it – think actively and constructively about your manuscript – sometime every day – maybe not when you are driving to work, but perhaps at least when you brush your teeth at night. Why? It keeps the subject alive in you and makes it much easier when you finally do get time to sit and type at the computer. (Having lived in America for so many years, I feel almost compelled now, to add, WARNING – This tip is not to be practiced behind the wheel; dreaming about your book while driving can cause accident, serious injury or worse).

2. Don’t start at the very beginning. That’s a very bad place to start.Yes, despite that song about starting at the very beginning (is that from the Sound of Music, which even made its way into Arundathi Roy’s wonderful novel? I think so. If you are a desi mom, you probably know this non-desi movie and this desi book). Novels aren’t necessarily written in order. Some novelists do it, I’m sure, so if it works for you, then go ahead. However, especially after becoming a mom, I tend to just write whatever chapter I feel like when I finally get a moment. Whatever I can see most clearly that day. Then, I fill in the gaps. Does that work? I don’t know. I hope so. It has to work for me now, so I think it will. In 2010, when Island’s End is published, you can read it and compare it with CLIMBING THE STAIRS, and then you can tell me. Or maybe my editor (who says he is going to be reading these blog posts) will tell me long before that…

3. Don’t waste time worrying about rejection. You will get rejected. That’s part of being a writer. I mean, even after you are a published author, there will be rejections of different types. So, who cares? I try not to. Time is precious, especially when there’s a little baby around. And wasting it on the negatives isn’t a good idea. My editor thinks I’m a bit crazy, but after we got the first two reviews for CLIMBING THE STAIRS, both of which were starred, I told him I wasn’t going to read them. Well, recently, his assistant attended one of my readings and forced me to read another review which was also of the highest quality rating, in an important review journal. So I said okay, okay, and I finally read them. But I try hard not to let them get me too excited. Because in the end, if you are a writer, you need to derive your energy from the process of writing and the good that your books generate, not let yourself get too high or too low because of someone else’s critique.

My friend, writer Vijaya Bodach, who is also a writing desi mom had these words of wisdom: “Enjoy the kids. They grow up much too fast. Learn to write in-between the cracks. I started writing at the kitchen counter just 10-20 minutes a day, while my toddlers played on the floor and supper simmered on the stove. Although I started The Great American Novel, I put it away for smaller pursuits – magazine writing and short stories. I learned to write small things well and it has served me well for my bigger projects. One thing that helped me write *with* my kids was to include them in the writing. We’d all sit at the kitchen table for a few minutes writing stories quietly. Sometimes, I’d write a story and have them draw the pictures for it. Oh, take naps with the kids. It’s wonderful to drift off to sleep during the daytime, with ideas bubbling just under the surface. Then stay up late to write. Five years ago, this is how I carved out two hours of night-time writing. It sure beats writing in 15-min. chunks. Of course, all this changes once the children start school. Then you will have time during the day to write, when you’re actually awake and alert. So fret not when the children are little. Your time will come. After all, you can’t stop the children from growing up.”

She’s right. Holding a baby is even better than holding the very first copy of your debut novel in your hands. That’s saying a lot! Thanks for reading!

For those who want to look at the previous stops on this tour or the ones to come, the information is pasted below. And before I forget, if you want to look at reviews of CLIMBING THE STAIRS, here are some links:
http://www.padmasbooks.com/
http://padmasbooks.blogspot.com/http
http://www.projo.com/books/content/BOOK-CLIMBING-STAIRS_05-18-08_6HA2FQC_v7.b6a7bc.html
http://www.uri.edu/news/releases/index.php?id=4393

Climbing the Stairs

Author: Padma Venkatraman

Age group: Young Adult(teenage)/Adult novel

Publisher: Putnam Juvenile (May 1, 2008)

Not often do you get to read a novel set in historical, pre-independence India with a story so wonderful and riveting. Padma Venkatraman undoubtedly brings a wonderful and fresh voice to the world of young adult and adult English literature with her debut novel, Climbing The Stairs.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading the book and found the story very touching. The book appeals to both young adults and adults alike. For both the groups, the story's backdrop can offer interesting insights into India's political and social fabric during World War II and the independence struggle.

Please allow me to offer a little glimpse of the story's plot and the characters Hopefully, I am not giving away too much so you can go and find out for yourself how wonderful the book is.

Vidya and Kitta cruise their young adult/teenage years with their everyday lives filled with typical family and school related happenings when all of a sudden a bad event in the family forces them out of their homes into their uncle's home. In their new home, the two deal with clashes in values and judgements with members of the extended family. Kitta makes some important decisions for himself in line with his own ideals. And when it's Vidya's turn, the story's key focal point touches upon her personal struggles, and family and social pressures. Eventually, it boils down to how she makes some very important decisions for herself filled with determination, courage and hope.

A fascinating plot, and such interesting characterizations and text that kept me glued to the book cover to cover. With Padma's writing so lucid and well-structured, the book is a real treat and offers a multi-faceted experience. And for the teenage group, there are definitely lots of inspirations to draw from based on an interesting plot, and fascinating characters.

I should also mention that it was truly a pleasure to read the characterizations of both Kitta and Vidya. I would be missing the point if I didn't recoginize the fact they were both equally strong-willed and important characters.

Final Word: There are so many untold stories during World War II - societies and people in India already dealing with their own national political and social struggles. Thanks to Padma we got to hear one such story of young Vidya and Kitta whose personal challenges, and dreams many will find close to their hearts – a historical story so wonderfully told that it in fact is truly timeless in its appeal. Once again, many thanks to Padma Venkatraman for her fabulous new book, Climbing The Stairs.

Lastly, I think the book will be a neat pick for teenage book clubs, or for any bookclub reading for that matter. And if you are like me that enjoys reading juvenile/young adult fiction in order to compensate for those wasted teenage/high school years of limited non-academic reading... reading that came to a screeching halt (after Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys) during middle school, and later nothing-but-flirty-romance novels during college, I have to confess after a decade of being out of teenage, Ok...I will give it away - after 14 years of post-teen life, I am shamelessly going for young adult fiction with a vengeance...
I am not done yet - here's a little piece of advice for moms with pre-teens and teens - if you really want your children to read eclectically, and if you are involved in picking what they read, books such as these should be on top of your list! Books are indeed a great way to connect with our children and the world around us, isnt it?

Mama's Mojo

Cross posted by DotMom of Karma Calling

When I was pregnant, I poured over parenting books. How to put your babies in a feeding schedule, how to discipline them, how to encourage them to sleep on their own. Books that pigeon holed babies and children into neat categories and then gave advice on how to “deal” with them. Deal with them? Like they are some sort of a problem that got in our way? These books I felt, did not really acknowledge me as a parent who had feelings and instincts and did not acknowledge my child as one with a distinct and a unique personality. No, my child did not fall into Tracy Hogg’s six categories. And I thought the Ferber and the Brazelton method bordered on child abuse. What was missing in this advice? I asked myself. It was only later, many months later, I realized that the books had been written by nannies and pediatricians. Eminent, capable professionals. Not parents. That was the problem. You can be the world’s greatest nanny or the pediatrician, but you can’t remotely come close to becoming a parent. Parents are not only responsible for health and safety and education of their children, they are responsible in imparting values, a sense of moral code, ethics and a sense of spirituality. And I found the parenting books that I most identified with were on the ones written by parents. Like Dr.Sears and Marguerite Kelly. Who did not chastise you or brand you as a bad parent if your child did not sleep through out the night at six weeks of age. Who had been where I was right now, and they imparted parenting wisdom, not just advice.

Adding to this line of brilliant parenting wisdom is a book I read a few days ago. Mama Rock's Rules: Ten Lessons for Raising a Houseful of Successful Children. This is written by the star comedian Chris Rock’s mother, Rose Rock. She raised 10 children of her own and 17 foster children. She would know a thing or two about parenting now. Mama Rose, in a charmingly old-fashioned way, gives it to you as it is. She is not the kind who minces words. You know that kind, don’t you? And I like that. Too many too politically correct parenting books out there. Too many parenting books not quite in touch with reality. This one is refreshing. Written in an easy conversational style, Mama Rose narrates incidents from her children’s childhood and the lessons she learnt as a mother and the strategies that worked for her. She says she wanted to raise successful children. How does she define successful children? Those that turn into kind, responsible people. Not star basketball players or actors of surgeons. Everyday people that leave behind a trail of goodness. Although the book is aimed for parents of slightly older children than the almost-three year old Chip, I enjoyed it. It’s best to dig a well way before you are thirsty, no? The Rock family was not privileged. Money was tight, the family large. Living in a neighborhood where education was not quite a priority, teenage pregnancies and drugs a norm, all 10 of Mama Rose’s kid became successful. They stayed out of trouble, had successful careers and became good responsible adults. That says for something.

So all you moms out there, read the book, it’s an easy read. Peppered with tales and snippets of this mama’s wisdom you will be smile and marvel how this woman did it all. After all, we could all use a bit of her mojo.

Book Review: 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for 2-12 year olds

[This post is written by mummyjaan]

Hi, all, Desi Mommies.

January is nearly over, but Slowpoke Mummyjaan has finally had a chance to contribute to this months' theme. This handy little manual is one I like very much, and had wanted to write my review on it for some time. Many of you may be familiar with it - those who aren't might find it very useful. Here it is:

This is a highly successful book on parenting written by a clinical psychologist. It's a short and sweet book, under 200 pages and very easy to read. I was able to go through most of it in the course of a day, in between my various household chores.

The success of the 'program', (as the author calls it) is obvious from the book's cover: "875,000 copies sold", it screams. It also carries the testimonials of parents, teachers, counsellors, psychologists. All are unanimous in their praise of the effectiveness of the techniques that the book talks about.

I first came across this book about 2 years ago. I was working with a consultant who routinely saw children with behavioural problems and he would lend this book - and other similar books - to the parents. One of his assistants did a presentation about this book and the principles it advocates. It was attended by more than just the Paediatric Department - many nurses and office staff were curious to listen to it because they are all parents once they finish work and go home.

So I had read the book before Apya was even 2. She was too young then for me to apply any of this 'wisdom' - the key to dealing with younger children is being in tune with their wants and needs and being experts at distraction. However, as she grew up and became more vocal, more manipulative, more ... uh... more 'everything' and altogether too much to handle, I went back to this book to see what it could do for me. I haven't been disappointed.

With 4-year-old Apya, who has an extremely short attention span, but who can be singularly focussed on something she wants, I find the 1-2-3 counting-followed-by-time-out system highly effective. Apya has never had typical 'tantrums' - save an occasional one now and then. However, she is a whiner par excellence. She can repeat her request dozens of times until I stop what I am doing to give her what she wants. It is with this type of behaviour that the 1-2-3 tactic has been most helpful for me. I explain that she can't have what she's asking for because (insert fair and justified reason) and then I start 'counting' her. It has averted 70 percent of the headaches for me. (The other 30 % I'm working on....)

How does 1-2-3 Magic Work?

The book is divided into 3 sections:

Section 1 deals with techniques to stop 'obnoxious behaviour';
Section 2 offers tips to help youngsters develop healthy habits,
and Section 3 talks about building a loving, trusting relationship with your offspring.

In the introductory chapters, Dr. Phelan sets out explaining a few theories on which the rest of the book is based. The first thing he does is debunk the 'Little Adult' assumption. He argues that:

1. Children are not as reasonable as we expect them to be. Certainly not when we most want them to be.

2. They have short attention spans.

3. Which is why, arguments and explanations don't work. In fact, arguing with a child is a sure-fire way to lose!

And the most important concept:

4. The 'No-talking, no-emotion' rule.

No. 4. is, the author claims, the real secret behind the success of 1-2-3 Magic. Children apparently love the feeling of power that they get from seeing you riled up, and when they see that their bad behaviour is not in fact driving you up the wall and you are still in control, they check their bad behaviour quickly.

In a way, 1-2-3 Magic is a technique for the parent to keep his or her cool when faced with a child's disobedience or challenging behaviour. The author devotes a whole chapter to describing the half a dozen ways in which children try to get what they want (something the cruel parents are denying) and this is indeed a valuable read. The author calls these 'testing and manipulation tactics'.

I have not needed to apply the advice in Section 2 yet, but I think I will use the kitchen-timer idea (another favourite of parents) for some 'Start' behaviours of Apya's that are getting a bit difficult (preparing for bedtime, especially, always a big challenge in our house).

The book is simply written, and does not bore you with lots of theoretical stuff. Instead, the author uses common everyday scenarios to demonstrate the 1-2-3 'technique'. There are simple diagrams and summary boxes throughout, emphasizing the core points. All written in a pleasant, humorous way.

Overall, if you are a parent of a child over 3, you will find this book highly valuable, even if your child is easy to manage. There is nothing really 'magical' about it - time-outs are an age-old technique of successful, in-control, sensible parents. The only 'magic' about it is that as one parent claims, "Guess what, folks? It works!"

A couple of interesting books.

By Shruthi of Hallucinations.

The theme for January immediately reminded me of a book I had read a while ago - Allison Pearson's "I don't know how she does it."

It is the story of a working mother. It is funny, sad, and incredibly chaotic. Kate Reddy, the protagonist is highly likeable but at the same time insufferable. Kate is torn between love for her job and the desire to be with her kids. Add to this, a feeling of profound guilt, and a long-suffering husband, and there, you have the story.

The book is a very good read. It doesn't preach working motherhood, nor the opposite. It just tells a story, it just gives you the facts. It is up to you to pick what you want from it. It is very interestingly written. Full of laugh-out-loud similes, and spot-on behavioral observations.

I read this book much before I even thought of having a baby, so a second read should probably be of more relevance to my life now!

While we are on the subject of parenting and books, I cannot resist mentioning Bill Cosby's Fatherhood. It is absolutely hilarious. Here are a few quotes from the book - it should give you an idea of what to expect from it.

Happy reading, and a very happy new year to you all!

The Sneaky Chef - A review

You want your kids to grow healthy. But they aren't eating their daily veggies. They just give a blunt 'No!' or sometimes, 'I don't like it', or sometimes even 'I hate veggies' or just leave it in their plate for you to wonder and wonder 'how on earth am I going to get this inside them' .....

Sometimes they go through phases of eating just peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for every meal.. And sometimes this phase goes longer than what a mom can take. So, you swallow your disappointment and try to cook it differently, more interestingly. You put a plate of fancy cut sandwiches and cute looking veggies and dips in front of them - all very colorful and keep your fingers and toes crossed- Does that work? NO! You try to tell them - Veggies are good, darling... If you eat them, you can grow as tall as 'Barney' or 'Diego' or whomever your kid fancies at the time... and then hope and pray that this works... - does it work?

Well, With some kids, some of these ploys work, but with most, it doesn't. So, what does a mom do? Sneak them!!! Yep, Missy Chase Lapine says 'sneak those veggies in the foods kids love'.

Ms.Lapine, the author of the best-seller 'The Sneaky Chef' comes to the rescue. She takes a list of the kid's favorite foods and takes another list of super foods and finds a way to sneak in the stuff from the second list to the first.. How does she sneak it in? She purees the veggies and sneaks them into brownies and pasta sauces and mac and cheese and other stuff...... Well, This idea has been there for a long time. Think of zucchini breads and carrot muffins. But I'd say she takes this approach a step further and have used it in foods that kids usually don't mind eating. She also suggests ways to make ahead a few purees and store them in the freezer for quicker cooking..

Some of her free recipes found in the web and from the Author's website.

• Make-Ahead Recipe: Green Juice
• Make-Ahead Recipe: Purple Puree
• Make-Ahead Recipe: White Puree
• Make-Ahead Recipe - Orange Puree
• Sneaky Chef Brainy Brownies
• Earth Day Milk Shake
• Tomato Sauce
  
• Mac and Cheese
• Power Pizza
• Peanut butter & Jelly muffins

Some may disagree with this approach... This isn't the right way to get the kids to eat their veggies. I beg to differ.. What's stopping us from keep trying to get them eat their veggies in the usual way, while also sneaking it into stuff they like. And when they start eating their veggies, you can always stop your sneaking in.

While I haven't had the chance to try these stuff on my kiddo yet (She's just 9 mo and eating what I stuff in her mouth) but if she grows up into the kind of kid who hates veggies, I wouldn't hesitate to try this approach.

Again, you don't have to use the ideas given in the book only for the recipes mentioned in the book.. Similar approach can be used for Indian cooking too... Making green dosas or colorful idlis or colored rice and parathas or rotis... etc In addition to increasing the nutrition quotient, you can also use veggies into giving color for food stuff without using the harmful chemical food colors. Take this idea and get creative.

A mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do. ;)

P.s. Not affiliated or associated with 'The Sneaky Chef' or 'Amazon.com' or any other links mentioned above.

Mama's Saris

I hope I am not going overboard with my post on this to the desimomz group. I thought it would be great if you can visit Saffrontree to read two recent reviews that are up this week.

1)Mama's Saris by Pooja Makhijani - Pooja Makhijani is an Indian American author from New York. Her latest picture book, Mama's Saris is hitting the bookstores this month. May be, some of you have seen the book already at your local Borders store. It's a neat crosscultural book with a theme all of us can relate to, and more so if you have little girls at home. Beautiful text and gorgeous illustrations! I was thinking of recommending the title to my local library as well.

2) Sheela, our newest team member who also writes on Desimomzclub has written a wonderful review on a book titled, Alphabeasts. Do check it out! It's lot of fun!!

Thanks a ton! :-)

Praba