Sexism?

Hey, ladies. What do you think of this. Interesting that the jounalist (Harriet Rubin) had such a hard time getting people to talk to her:

http://www.portfolio.com/executives/features/2008/03/17/Sexism-in-the-Workplace

Would love to hear what you think?
Roopa
http://rooparecipes.blogspot.com

Testing Lead in Toys

How do you test for Lead in your kids' toys? I did see a few at home testers online. Has anyone used them ? Any recommendations ?

Choosing the Right School

A and I began thinking about playschool for Chubbocks when he was about 18 months old - just looking around at the options - even though we didn't plan to send him for another few months. I felt playschool was necessary for him as he was an extremely shy and sensitive child who refused to socialise with any other kids of his age in the park, and I also wanted to do something structured in terms of his learning but not too much so. A 5-day program would be too much, I felt. We looked around at 2 or 3 playschools which were in our neighbourhood but some we felt were too big in class size, some had too much of an 'admission-focussed' approach, like teaching kids alphabets, spelling, numbers and 'Interview techniques', which almost made me gag.

One of our friends happened to be working with a playschool group called Julia Gabriel. This is a Singapore-based chain of playschools and one of the first things that appealed to me was that their classes required the parent to accompany the child. There was no way I would have left Chubbocks alone anywhere at that age. We visited the school and spent nearly an hour observing the teachers, the classes and the school set-up. The school mission was to turn out 'confident communicators', and they explained they use the phonetic method to teach alphabets. Though the school was small, with a minuscule playground, they had a nice array of toys for kids including mock-hammers, a cookery counter and so on. The class-rooms were nice and roomy and each one had 3 teachers, along with one ayah on stand-by and they all had attached bathrooms which had been designed for little ones, with low-placed pots and steps leading up to the washbasins.

The teaching really caught our fancy, consisting of a lot of fun and games, some running around and the way the teachers encouraged the kids to speak was wonderful. Most of all, we fell in love with the teacher who headed the beginner's class - a man called Jimmy. He had the most incredible level of patience we have ever seen, and the way he coaxed even the shyest of kids to speak or perform was amazing. We felt that our kiddo would be in good hands if Jimmy was to be his first transition to a school environment.

JG had 2 hour classes thrice a week, so I used to go on weekdays and A would go on Saturdays. It was always great fun to go, and Chubbocks, even though he didn't participate much at first, always enjoyed going there. Kids were taught about clean-up time - cleaning away their own toys and setting the stage for the next activity, to take off and put on their own shoes and the school served them a healthy snack, with juice, and fruit and vegetables. The phonetic method, I honestly couldn't appreciate until recently, because I didn't see it translating into reading skills, for example.

But Jimmy really helped Chubbocks blossom from a shy kid who hung his head and clung to Mamma to one who fearlessly walks up to strangers and makes friends with them, be they kids or adults ( Come to think of it, Mamma now has to work to put a fear of strangers back), and has become an amazingly skillful communicator in three languages. When he graduated from his primary class to the next level, the first remark his new teacher made was about his communication skills. Granted some of that may be genetic, since not all the kids from Jimmy's class got that comment, but the ability to make him confident enough to state what he thinks is all thanks to Jimmy.

When it came to big school, I was so determined not to get all agitated and worked up like so many of our friends when it came to admissions that I became too laid-back and completely missed seeing the ads schools put out about admissions deadlines, and so did A. All of a sudden, we were on the backfoot and scrambling and worried. Then A found that the local Delhi Public School admissions deadline was not over and we sent our factotum to fetch the forms. Unfortunately, there are 2 DPSs in the neighbourhood, one good and the other terrible, and our Man Friday had got the wrong form which we never figured out until much too late.

A somewhat experimental school, called Shikshantar, had extended admissions for more entrants so we decided to find out more about it. Two of my friends who had kids there praised it highly, calling it a school which helped kids become self-motivated and so on. The thing that worried A no end was that they have a completely unstructured curriculum for the first few years - kids just study what they feel like studying, so if you want your kids to be reading by a certain age and writing by another, that wasn't the best option. I still thought it sounded good and we sent off our application which, by the way, asked us lots of searching questions about our goals for the child and so on.

DPS had a formal interview process but we didn't want to put Chubbocks under any pressure, so we frankly didn't bother to 'prepare' him. He sailed through on his own( including singing 'Where's the party tonight' when asked to recite a poem) and we had to fork out a fortune ( Rs. 60,000, most of it non-refundable!!!) for the admission. I thought that that was too much money to throw away and we should wait for Shikshantar's decision before paying up but the deadlines didn't match and A panicked at the thought of Chubbocks not getting into any school at all due to our carelessness. So we paid through the nose, though I had no intention of sending him to an academic factory known for putting kids to the grindstone.

Then Shriram school, which had been dithering on admissions due to the Delhi government changes of rules finally decided to begin the process in Gurgaon at least. Most of our friends have their kids in Shriram and all of them are all praise for it. They all said it was a good, well-rounded school in the way it went about things and that academic pressure was quite low and they focussed more on turning out kids who were well-rounded human beings. True, the average kid there is from an upscale family and I had serious doubts about how well our middle-class mindset would fit in, but given the rave reviews, we plunged ahead. Shriram thankfully didn't have an interview for kids. They like mixed-race or religion couples, so we were bang on. Plus they tend to like kids with working moms, so we got another bonus point. I seem to remember filling out a long and detailed form about our beliefs and so on, and we were on the list for the 'interaction'.

At Shikshantar, while they had called parents and kids together, they let the kids run around and play in the playground and conducted their chats with the parents there itself, in a corner, which was nice and low-pressure. At Shriram too, they had us in the same room, though a teacher led Chubbocks off to one corner where they had laid out all kinds of toys and pictures while A and I were being interviewed. We were happy to find a former colleague on the interview board too, and the questions were pretty innocuous, like how Chubbocks took to his sibling and so on. I was very confident afterwards that we would be in though A was still biting his nails until we got the letter confirming it. We were really happy about the way things had gone and felt we had had a really low pressure time of it, apart from losing some big bucks enroute.

A year down the line, and A and I still feel very happy and confident about our choice, the more so due to what the Director recently said about the competitive spirit. I think we got off pretty easy in the process of admissions, because I have known people who've gone round the bend running around to hundreds of schools. I'm relieved not only that Chubs got into a good school but that he got into a school which has the kind of mix of academics and other skills that I wanted for him and the right values ( E.g. they recently held a workshop on the right way to celebrate birthdays - much needed, IMHO), and hopefully Puddi will make it there too.

Long version cross-posted at Rainbow Days.

How to organize a play group ?

(posted by Pallavi)
Now that its going to be warm pretty soon, I am trying to think of exciting new activities for my 2 yr old. Taking him to the park and to the pool are a couple. I am considering a playset for the backyard too. Most kids in our friends circle are much older than him.. Right now he goes to an in-home babysitter(while I am at work) where all the other kids are younger than him and he plays all by himself. We are planning to find a good daycare for him pretty soon. But meanwhile, .. I want him to be able to play a lot more with his age group kids, learn to share etc.

I looked at some moms groups but none are for working moms. So, none of those are working out. There are many kids in my neighbourhood about his age. Ideally, it would be great if all of us get together and the kids can play. Since we live pretty close meeting on weekdays at parks or just at someone's house or backyard would be much easier I think. Also, the kids will grow up together and I think that will be great !

But the issue is that our subdivision is kind of new and every couple of months a new family is moving in. There has not been an opportunity to even meet and talk to everyone yet. So, I am not sure how to approach people and organize a playgroup. I wonder if anyone would even be interested or even care.. Has anyone been in similar situations before ? Ideas/ Suggestions please ?

Teaching kids about money

I remember the first time I got an allowance from my parents. It was Rs. 5 for a week, and I was 15! I have to admit that I was a real saver. No unnecessary ice-creams for me. I'm not sure what the going rate is in India these days, but I suspect it's pretty much the same as here in NYC...a LOT more than Rs. 5/ week!

Two articles (click on the links to see the whole articles from the wall street journal) that moms may want to take a look at as they help their children understand that value and issues associated with money.

Allowance 2.0
With kids spending billions online -- and charging it to mom and dad -- families are ditching the traditional weekly cash handout. Teaching the value of a buck in a cashless economy.

Making kids money savvy
Try These Four Financial Tricks
Give them a few dollars -- and some financial common sense.
Want to make sure your children grow up to be money-smart adults? Check out the four experiments below.
htpp://rooparecipes.blogspot.com

Difficult discussions

"So, what did spitter do?", asks K, my 4-year old son. The hazards of ubiquitous TV and passing grown-up conversations is that sometimes, the ugliness of public behavior is suddenly thrust on the consciousness of lil' ones. "A bad man", I said, then, "a man who did a bad thing"... clearly not thinking that one through. Of course, that meant that the kids followed up with, "what kind of bad thing." I was able to end the discussion by saying, "he made a lot of people feel bad that they trusted him", and then I challenged them to a race to the toy cupboard, and spent the next hour playing I Spy.

There are the giggles in staff meetings about what Specter paid for his trysts, but it's hard for me not to think about the awful stories of young girls plucked from their families and forced into prostitution. The horribleness of this upsets me, especially as it gets to be discussed more as some kind of antiseptic step in the political chess game. My years serving on the Sakhi board has sensitized me to the many ways that abuse happens. Some day, there's a conversation to be had with my twins, about right and wrong, about victims of crime who become part of the crime, and abuse. I don't want that day to come!
Roopa (http://rooparecipes.blogspot.com/)

God didn't make perfect mothers...

[This post was written by Tharini of Winkie's Way]

I received this mail today from Gauri, and just couldn't think of a better place to share it than here....and especially so in the warm aftermath of our February theme. Read on and enjoy...

"May I go now?" the almost completed, eager mother asked.

"Not yet. There are essential parts and finishing touches to be added," her Maker replied.

"I look pretty good to me," she said, peering into the crystal pool at her feet.

"True, you're looking better all the time. But bear with me."

"What does a mother have to do, God, besides wash, feed, and clothe little bodies?"

God only smiled and continued working.

"What are you doing now?" the curious mother-to-be questioned.

"Tightening your anger valve. If this doesn't work, everyone is in trouble."

She watched as He reached for the container marked patience.

"And what do I need patience for?" she asked as He poured in quite a supply.

"After a week you will know, my child."

"And whatever could that be?"

"This is your bypass mechanism. It enables a mother to operate efficiently for long periods of time without compliments from her children."

"I'm sure I won't need that."

"I'm sure you will."

Then God reached for a bundle labeled insulation against loud noises.

"You can skip that," she told him. "I don't mind a little noise."

"That's nice," He said.

Seeing all the energy He was preparing to give her, she shifted uneasily from one foot to the other. "I wouldn't need all that energy in a million years."

"Little you know. You will use all of this and be begging for more before long."

"I didn't know there was so much involved in being a mother. You're not just putting me on, are you?"

"No, little mother."

With much apprehension, "Are you sure I can handle the job?"

"Quite sure...with help. I'm always available when you need me."

"I'm glad to know that. What could I possible need all these for?"

"A certain amount of pain, so that you will be fully equipped to sympathize with and minister to the needs of your children when they feel pain; tears, so that you will be able to cry with them when they are hurt; and laughter to blend with theirs for happy times."

The mother-in-waiting fidgeted while God attached yes and no buttons. "Wouldn't it be nicer just to say yes to my children all the time?"

"Definitely not. Good mothers need to say no--and often. Say it with kindness and they will respect you for it."

"Have you equipped me with this thing called kindness, Lord?"

"I have indeed."

"And what about respect? Do I have to respect my children?"

"Absolutely."

The anxious mother tried to be patient as God installed a question answerer, advice giver, get along without sleep, and a pretender not to notice.

"I know I wouldn't use one of those!" she said, as God came toward her with a let-go lever.

"Sure you will, though it's hard. This is a vital piece of equipment. Until this little lever is released, your children will not have room to grow properly, make their own decisions, or develop their own personalities."

"I guess that is important."

God stood back a few steps to appraise His work, then reached for a coat of love and wrapped it around her. "Wear this at all times, and you'll be a good mother."

"Am I ready now, God, to get on with the mothering bit?"

"You can go now," God said gently. "You're not perfect, but you will do."