Rajasree sent a e-mail to Desi Momz Club after reading Ramya's post. She could not post a comment so she mailed.
It was so very kind of her to do so, that I am reproducing her mail as a post rather than a comment. Thank You Rajasree
Dear Administartors of Desi Momz Club
I could not post a comment to the post "Neo-natal teeth ? Do you knowanything"Even I couldnot find a email id in Ramya's blog,so writing here , sorry if Iam causing inconvinience.
Comment :My 3 year old was born with a tooth( the lower middle one ), even one of my cousin's son had a tooth since birth .I am in US , my paediatrician hadrecommended to remove it , beacuse of a possible choking hazard , but as thetooth was not loose , I didn't and the tooth is still there .My cousin's sonhad his tooth removed and there is a gap , doctor has told that he will gettooth at that place when the kid gets his permanent teeth .
So do not worry, its not very unusual.Hope this helps.Anyways do get it checked with a paediatric dentist.-
Rajasre eend comment
About me -I am a SAHM of two kids , i enjoy reading the posts at DMC.If itis ok , please send the comment to Ramya.Thanks
-Rajasree
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Working/ Not-Working moms
Hi all,
All the articles on this subject are so close to heart, you can relate to all of them. Yes, I can relate to one aspect of one, and then another of a second. What I mean is that, all these decisions are/were taken based on real life situations...most of which we are familiar with at some time or the other in our lives. Plus the fact that we are mothers , makes it easier to understand the feeling of the other, even if you have a different opinion.
My writing is again MY story, MY opinion..
I joined work first time after coming to Holland...I had just finished my Phd in Japan , came here to join my husband A+. We were miles apart after marriage (me in Japan, he in Netherlands) for more than a year. So as you know, the first 3 months were as colorful as the tulips here.[not that the colour is gone now!!;-) ]. I had left home for hostel when I was 19, and then left India alone when I was 25 for Japan....this made me a very independent woman...maybe this was the reason that I became very impatient to stay at home within the first 3 months [+ the weather here which is gloomy most of the time]...even though I was enjoying every bit of my new home. This impatience landed myself a job very soon but in a totally different field. I travelled a lot...learned a lot....mostly to cope with work atmosphere..was once again financially independent..made me happy.
The dizzy feeling came after 2 years!! ;-))
Travel was not possible due to pregnancy problems after 3 months.....but the medical insurance/working insurance took care of that...I stayed mostly at home..but got fully paid.
lucky me! A was born..... our lives changed...I DID NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK ANYMORE JUST THEN!!!
so I took unpaid leave for 9 months. At the end of it , the impatient me was winning again....I can blame it on my sun-sign [geminis want change.....]!! So I went back to work this time being thankfully transferred to a office close to home..
A was in a creche...by heart cried when I left him there every morning....the practical husband scolded me at times....however,things got better within a few weeks... the husband had a "I told you so" look in his eyes....
The work by this time however was SUPER BORING!!!!
So out came my resume....the search was on! Then I got this dream job as a research scientist...which was again far from home but too good (and finally in my own field) to let go.
A+ helped me to take a decision......at every step he encouraged me more.....we even decided to move houses.... I am really thankful to have him as my partner.[ have to give him this site so that he reads this !!;-)]
A was moved from one creche to another.....again a bit of getting-used-to problems...but he did fine! I work full time now....4 days in office..1 day from home when A stays at home too. i love this situation....A comes to office with me..his creche is 5 mins walk from my desk!
I did have my days of feeling-bad when I left him for the first time....but now its not that bad anymore.
And here comes a very honest sentence: "I have no guilty feeling...I dont miss A during my working hours".
Three main reasons which contribute to the above sentence are:::
1. This little person A also loves his creche now where he can play with other kids...when he gets home we(A+ and me) try to spend good time together. He does not cry when I say bye in the morning....occassionally makes unhappy faces....and and and sometimes refuses to go home in the evenings!!! can you imagine THAT??
2. I love my current work.
3. A+ encourages and supports me always. (lets say most of the times ;-))
THAT was a long post....................
;-)
cheers
DR.
All the articles on this subject are so close to heart, you can relate to all of them. Yes, I can relate to one aspect of one, and then another of a second. What I mean is that, all these decisions are/were taken based on real life situations...most of which we are familiar with at some time or the other in our lives. Plus the fact that we are mothers , makes it easier to understand the feeling of the other, even if you have a different opinion.
My writing is again MY story, MY opinion..
I joined work first time after coming to Holland...I had just finished my Phd in Japan , came here to join my husband A+. We were miles apart after marriage (me in Japan, he in Netherlands) for more than a year. So as you know, the first 3 months were as colorful as the tulips here.[not that the colour is gone now!!;-) ]. I had left home for hostel when I was 19, and then left India alone when I was 25 for Japan....this made me a very independent woman...maybe this was the reason that I became very impatient to stay at home within the first 3 months [+ the weather here which is gloomy most of the time]...even though I was enjoying every bit of my new home. This impatience landed myself a job very soon but in a totally different field. I travelled a lot...learned a lot....mostly to cope with work atmosphere..was once again financially independent..made me happy.
The dizzy feeling came after 2 years!! ;-))
Travel was not possible due to pregnancy problems after 3 months.....but the medical insurance/working insurance took care of that...I stayed mostly at home..but got fully paid.
lucky me! A was born..... our lives changed...I DID NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK ANYMORE JUST THEN!!!
so I took unpaid leave for 9 months. At the end of it , the impatient me was winning again....I can blame it on my sun-sign [geminis want change.....]!! So I went back to work this time being thankfully transferred to a office close to home..
A was in a creche...by heart cried when I left him there every morning....the practical husband scolded me at times....however,things got better within a few weeks... the husband had a "I told you so" look in his eyes....
The work by this time however was SUPER BORING!!!!
So out came my resume....the search was on! Then I got this dream job as a research scientist...which was again far from home but too good (and finally in my own field) to let go.
A+ helped me to take a decision......at every step he encouraged me more.....we even decided to move houses.... I am really thankful to have him as my partner.[ have to give him this site so that he reads this !!;-)]
A was moved from one creche to another.....again a bit of getting-used-to problems...but he did fine! I work full time now....4 days in office..1 day from home when A stays at home too. i love this situation....A comes to office with me..his creche is 5 mins walk from my desk!
I did have my days of feeling-bad when I left him for the first time....but now its not that bad anymore.
And here comes a very honest sentence: "I have no guilty feeling...I dont miss A during my working hours".
Three main reasons which contribute to the above sentence are:::
1. This little person A also loves his creche now where he can play with other kids...when he gets home we(A+ and me) try to spend good time together. He does not cry when I say bye in the morning....occassionally makes unhappy faces....and and and sometimes refuses to go home in the evenings!!! can you imagine THAT??
2. I love my current work.
3. A+ encourages and supports me always. (lets say most of the times ;-))
THAT was a long post....................
;-)
cheers
DR.
Working Mom by choice
Born a rebel perhaps, had a difficult childhood, gave quite a tough time to my mom I suppose. A board topper and post grad in Maths Mom with a range of extra curricular accomplishments, she had opted to become a SAH Mom, and perfectly raise her own two daughters. It was definitely a reflective decision as she lost her Mom at 4, and grew up in a home with an indifferent step mom. However, this increased pressure for performance on us across curricular as well as extra curricular disciplines
Me having a very strong mind since childhood, converted every non agreement into a huge war for independence.... and the war continues. As I grew up, one realisation was pretty brutally etched in my mind.... I will not sacrifice my work life and try to find personal success through that of my child.... in fact, funnily it was one of the pre-conditions for accepting D as my fiance and later hubby.
Lucky I am, as neither D nor my Dad ever encouraged my ' will leave job for my little one' blues. Had it not been for my father, I would have never even dreamt or achieved whatever little I have done so far. He was instrumental in sowing the seeds of unachievable ambitions, through my life. However, in this path, my Mom played the role of rationaliser, often too pessimistic to swallow.
Last year D was to take a seconment for 3 yrs to US and happily I quit to accompany him, for the first time. Excited, organised as ever, we had everything worked out while waiting for our L1/L2 for me visas for 4 months.... yah!!! thatz what we had to wait for a visa interview. We got our visa s in June, ready to board a flight in 10 days, when for some reason we called off the shifting project and D decided to go for a domestic role in the same company and not disturb our son with a coming back home at 13yrs.
All this while I was freaking as a SAH Mom. Initial 2 months, everyday I walked and window shopped for 2-3 hrs, till my feet ached. Then I started watching TV through the day.... till I started working part time teaching in some Mgt schools and doing work on project basis.
With D gone for his domestic posting, me and Reik tried hard to settle into a life. The three men in my life, Dad, D and Reik started pushing me hard to join work back. I had somehow got used to my lazy slowpaced life, but gathered and joined back work. Initial one month was painful. But thanks to my 9 yr old son and his immense cooperation I am back, running, happy, by God's grace.
So, I believe, motherhood is neither enhanced nor reduced, if Mom is not by the side of a child for 24 hrs. It is the bonding, the 'When' and ' How' we spend the shared time that matters rather than the ' How much'. Since I always fought for a recognition as an individual rather than a child, I have always tried to treat R, my son as an individual. This has empowered him ,with decision making ability on small little things in school or life at home.
It is our approach to raising a self reliant and resilient kid, who has feet on ground but eyes on the moon. If we succeed, he does, if we do not, yet he might in his own individual style and steam, and face the world
Me having a very strong mind since childhood, converted every non agreement into a huge war for independence.... and the war continues. As I grew up, one realisation was pretty brutally etched in my mind.... I will not sacrifice my work life and try to find personal success through that of my child.... in fact, funnily it was one of the pre-conditions for accepting D as my fiance and later hubby.
Lucky I am, as neither D nor my Dad ever encouraged my ' will leave job for my little one' blues. Had it not been for my father, I would have never even dreamt or achieved whatever little I have done so far. He was instrumental in sowing the seeds of unachievable ambitions, through my life. However, in this path, my Mom played the role of rationaliser, often too pessimistic to swallow.
Last year D was to take a seconment for 3 yrs to US and happily I quit to accompany him, for the first time. Excited, organised as ever, we had everything worked out while waiting for our L1/L2 for me visas for 4 months.... yah!!! thatz what we had to wait for a visa interview. We got our visa s in June, ready to board a flight in 10 days, when for some reason we called off the shifting project and D decided to go for a domestic role in the same company and not disturb our son with a coming back home at 13yrs.
All this while I was freaking as a SAH Mom. Initial 2 months, everyday I walked and window shopped for 2-3 hrs, till my feet ached. Then I started watching TV through the day.... till I started working part time teaching in some Mgt schools and doing work on project basis.
With D gone for his domestic posting, me and Reik tried hard to settle into a life. The three men in my life, Dad, D and Reik started pushing me hard to join work back. I had somehow got used to my lazy slowpaced life, but gathered and joined back work. Initial one month was painful. But thanks to my 9 yr old son and his immense cooperation I am back, running, happy, by God's grace.
So, I believe, motherhood is neither enhanced nor reduced, if Mom is not by the side of a child for 24 hrs. It is the bonding, the 'When' and ' How' we spend the shared time that matters rather than the ' How much'. Since I always fought for a recognition as an individual rather than a child, I have always tried to treat R, my son as an individual. This has empowered him ,with decision making ability on small little things in school or life at home.
It is our approach to raising a self reliant and resilient kid, who has feet on ground but eyes on the moon. If we succeed, he does, if we do not, yet he might in his own individual style and steam, and face the world
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Some more...
There are so many reasons why a Mom chooses to stay at home or go out side to work.
A particularly touching story, from a different angle here from On Balance
A particularly touching story, from a different angle here from On Balance
Monday, August 20, 2007
Piano lessons anyone ?
Quick question:
What is a good age to start piano lessons ?
How to get a teacher ?
What are the rates ? I found one who says $25 for 30 min, isn't that too expensive ?
Kay, I remember you had suggested a music class your daughter/friend's kid go to. Can you please post the URL.
What is a good age to start piano lessons ?
How to get a teacher ?
What are the rates ? I found one who says $25 for 30 min, isn't that too expensive ?
Kay, I remember you had suggested a music class your daughter/friend's kid go to. Can you please post the URL.
Neo-natal teeth? Do u know anything?
This post is written by Ramya of Aromas of My Food.
First Hi to All. It's been long i wrote a post here. These days i am a little busy with everything except blogging. Pleas forgive me. Coming to the post i am writing i don't know where to start.
Does Anyone know about Neonatal teeth? Have anyone experienced them (with ur kids or u or anyone u know) ? If u have any information please tell me.
This is all regarding my daughter. She got her first teeth which r considered as neonatal or natal teeth 9 days after her birth.The doc in India suggested to take them off. First i was reluctant to touch them thinking how can we do that to such a tiny little girl who is hardly 2kg (5lb) and so tiny to touch. And mostly we shouldnot give her pain poor little baby. Then after 4 or 5 days one tooth grew long and soft like gums moved a little resulting blood pouring out. Startled by the scene and not knowing what to do went to dentist and made the hanging teeth pulcked away (well after consulting pediatrician). They did it easily and my little one forgot very soon. Not even cried. She is happy. then to my nightmares came another one. it was there for 1 week. I thought this was ok so no need to bother her. then it sarted to hurt her tongue and she unable to drink her milk. The next morning i took her to dentist again he checked it and told it already moved half way and ready to comeout. findin no way out we even took that out. they were placed on top like some had glued them.Here plucking means not with tweesers but using cotton and hand itself as they moved already. After that my baby was happy.
Now After nearly 2 yrs she is not getting the teeth those r removed. What i learned from my own search for this is they r not sure that they r gonna come again. If u have 3 sets of teeth she may get or else she won't till she gets her permanent teeth. I am very much worried about this maybe this is taking a toll on her speaking skills. till now it's fine and she got all the other teeth. But i am not sure she is going to get her teeth until she reached 6 or 7 yrs. but i had no other chance.
Any dentists in this club or anyone experienced please help me out.
We r trying to take dental insurance here. so i can take her to a dentist. Till now we waited but no more.
Here u can find some info regarding this link. My daughters looked similar to the photo but they r mobile and sitting on the top.
First Hi to All. It's been long i wrote a post here. These days i am a little busy with everything except blogging. Pleas forgive me. Coming to the post i am writing i don't know where to start.
Does Anyone know about Neonatal teeth? Have anyone experienced them (with ur kids or u or anyone u know) ? If u have any information please tell me.
This is all regarding my daughter. She got her first teeth which r considered as neonatal or natal teeth 9 days after her birth.The doc in India suggested to take them off. First i was reluctant to touch them thinking how can we do that to such a tiny little girl who is hardly 2kg (5lb) and so tiny to touch. And mostly we shouldnot give her pain poor little baby. Then after 4 or 5 days one tooth grew long and soft like gums moved a little resulting blood pouring out. Startled by the scene and not knowing what to do went to dentist and made the hanging teeth pulcked away (well after consulting pediatrician). They did it easily and my little one forgot very soon. Not even cried. She is happy. then to my nightmares came another one. it was there for 1 week. I thought this was ok so no need to bother her. then it sarted to hurt her tongue and she unable to drink her milk. The next morning i took her to dentist again he checked it and told it already moved half way and ready to comeout. findin no way out we even took that out. they were placed on top like some had glued them.Here plucking means not with tweesers but using cotton and hand itself as they moved already. After that my baby was happy.
Now After nearly 2 yrs she is not getting the teeth those r removed. What i learned from my own search for this is they r not sure that they r gonna come again. If u have 3 sets of teeth she may get or else she won't till she gets her permanent teeth. I am very much worried about this maybe this is taking a toll on her speaking skills. till now it's fine and she got all the other teeth. But i am not sure she is going to get her teeth until she reached 6 or 7 yrs. but i had no other chance.
Any dentists in this club or anyone experienced please help me out.
We r trying to take dental insurance here. so i can take her to a dentist. Till now we waited but no more.
Here u can find some info regarding this link. My daughters looked similar to the photo but they r mobile and sitting on the top.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Lucky Me!
Posted by Saheli
Yes, I am very lucky. I had the opportunity to experience both as SAHM and WM. After going through all the ups and downs, I finally wanted a bit of both worlds so, I chose part time WM and major time SAHM. Currently, I work Mon-Thurs 9-3 for a very understanding and cooperative boss. After 3, I become the "bechari" with 2 demanding bosses. Nah, I should say 3 counting my husband P too. Well, I do fulfill some of his demands too. (well I try)
Well, here is how it all started...
I grew up in a middle class family in Bombay. My mom worked very hard to raise us 4 siblings she was the bread maker whereas my dad was the sole breadwinner. I always saw my mom working, always busy with cooking, cleaning, laundry and dishes. I think watching her work so hard every day, I had subconsciously made up my mind to become a working woman and be financially sufficient.
After graduating, I was all set to look for a nice stable govt job (well, thats what all middle class girls were doing at that time). But, God had different plans for me. A few of my friends from college were all going to attend the entrance exams for MCA (well, they had bigger plans). And since we did all masti together I was dragged into this too. Unfortunately, the ones that were most interested didn't get through and I the least interested got admitted. With my dad's encouragement and support and a long lecture on how fortunate I am to get into such a prestigious college and blah blah..., I started my masters degree. Well, here is where I met my husband. Destiny - thats all I can say. After 3 yrs of projects, assignments and ofcourse dhamaal and masti, both P and I got good jobs and finally my dream had come true.
No, not so soon... P got a good offer and an opportunity to go to US. That was his big dream. We got married and without thinking twice I gave up my dream and in an instance resigned from the wonderful job and set out to be with my new dream - my husband in his dreamland.
Now, in this wonderful country of opportunities, I was all set to start a career. I had prepared my resume and then of course God had yet another plan for me, we found out that I was pregnant...(damn those faulty condomns). We were happy and everything seemed right. Without second thoughts I decided to stay home till the baby was born.
From that time till my son was 1.5yrs old we moved to 4 different cities. P had a contract with his consulting co. and had to move wherever the project was. My mom couldn't come to help me during my delivery because she had medical problems, why my MIL didn't come is not even logical - just because. Well, with God's grace my whole pregnancy and delivery was normal (well other than the labor pain that was not normal, it was evil) Anyways, M started growing up I didn't miss going to work at all. I was happy taking care of my house and my family and I loved it.
Once M started going to preschool, I started getting more free time and then all those forgotten dreams started to surface. I remembered how thousands entered and only 30 were selected for MCA. I was feeling guilty that somebody more deserving could have got the spot and become a desi Bill Gates. I felt as if I wasted a spot which somebody else was dying for. Luckily, soon enough I got a good job. It was like "meri life meh char chand lag gaye". M is my easy child. We didn't have any issues with his eating or going to daycare. Parenting seemed so easy with him. Every thing was perfect, happy family, satisfying job what more could you ask for. Well, if you have a son you could ask for a daughter and God listened.
After two years of full time job and enjoying the WM part, I became pregnant with S. S is not my difficult child but, she sure makes my life difficult. I didn't have any complications but, had a huge tummy and had miserable back problems. Nobody came for this delivery too. Well, my mom had passed away and my MIL didn't want to come - just because. I cried so hard because maybe I missed my mom and all around me other girls had so much help from their moms or MIL, that I felt very unlucky. I was very depressed during my 2nd pregnancy and just was emotionally distressed. Somehow, I got my courage and continued to work. Before S came out, I made arrangement for her. A friend in our neighborhood agreed to look after her. Everything seemed fine till S was born. The 8 week period went in a blink of an eye. Just two days before I the day I had to resume to work I had these guilty feeling of leaving my baby with somebody else. I don't remember how but, I decided to quit my job. I am very grateful to P that he supported my decision and I am also grateful that I had the liberty to take that decision as P's income was enough for us.
Well, getting back to SAHM was easy and I was enjoying it till I got a call from my ex-boss asking if I would consider working parttime. First time in my life I felt very lucky. I got flexible time, same position and salary and flexibility of long vacations during summer. As if this was not enough for somebody as greedy as me, I asked if I could take Fridays off during summer and I got that too. I feel very blessed.
I am both SAHM and a WM. For me its just a matter of choice. There is no debate as what one should opt for. It matters only what works for you and your family. Its like whether you take up a job or start your own business. It all depends on your circumstances.
If it is still not clear please refer to the other wonderful posts under this theme...
Just kidding... read them anyways - they are all awesome!
Yes, I am very lucky. I had the opportunity to experience both as SAHM and WM. After going through all the ups and downs, I finally wanted a bit of both worlds so, I chose part time WM and major time SAHM. Currently, I work Mon-Thurs 9-3 for a very understanding and cooperative boss. After 3, I become the "bechari" with 2 demanding bosses. Nah, I should say 3 counting my husband P too. Well, I do fulfill some of his demands too. (well I try)
Well, here is how it all started...
I grew up in a middle class family in Bombay. My mom worked very hard to raise us 4 siblings she was the bread maker whereas my dad was the sole breadwinner. I always saw my mom working, always busy with cooking, cleaning, laundry and dishes. I think watching her work so hard every day, I had subconsciously made up my mind to become a working woman and be financially sufficient.
After graduating, I was all set to look for a nice stable govt job (well, thats what all middle class girls were doing at that time). But, God had different plans for me. A few of my friends from college were all going to attend the entrance exams for MCA (well, they had bigger plans). And since we did all masti together I was dragged into this too. Unfortunately, the ones that were most interested didn't get through and I the least interested got admitted. With my dad's encouragement and support and a long lecture on how fortunate I am to get into such a prestigious college and blah blah..., I started my masters degree. Well, here is where I met my husband. Destiny - thats all I can say. After 3 yrs of projects, assignments and ofcourse dhamaal and masti, both P and I got good jobs and finally my dream had come true.
No, not so soon... P got a good offer and an opportunity to go to US. That was his big dream. We got married and without thinking twice I gave up my dream and in an instance resigned from the wonderful job and set out to be with my new dream - my husband in his dreamland.
Now, in this wonderful country of opportunities, I was all set to start a career. I had prepared my resume and then of course God had yet another plan for me, we found out that I was pregnant...(damn those faulty condomns). We were happy and everything seemed right. Without second thoughts I decided to stay home till the baby was born.
From that time till my son was 1.5yrs old we moved to 4 different cities. P had a contract with his consulting co. and had to move wherever the project was. My mom couldn't come to help me during my delivery because she had medical problems, why my MIL didn't come is not even logical - just because. Well, with God's grace my whole pregnancy and delivery was normal (well other than the labor pain that was not normal, it was evil) Anyways, M started growing up I didn't miss going to work at all. I was happy taking care of my house and my family and I loved it.
Once M started going to preschool, I started getting more free time and then all those forgotten dreams started to surface. I remembered how thousands entered and only 30 were selected for MCA. I was feeling guilty that somebody more deserving could have got the spot and become a desi Bill Gates. I felt as if I wasted a spot which somebody else was dying for. Luckily, soon enough I got a good job. It was like "meri life meh char chand lag gaye". M is my easy child. We didn't have any issues with his eating or going to daycare. Parenting seemed so easy with him. Every thing was perfect, happy family, satisfying job what more could you ask for. Well, if you have a son you could ask for a daughter and God listened.
After two years of full time job and enjoying the WM part, I became pregnant with S. S is not my difficult child but, she sure makes my life difficult. I didn't have any complications but, had a huge tummy and had miserable back problems. Nobody came for this delivery too. Well, my mom had passed away and my MIL didn't want to come - just because. I cried so hard because maybe I missed my mom and all around me other girls had so much help from their moms or MIL, that I felt very unlucky. I was very depressed during my 2nd pregnancy and just was emotionally distressed. Somehow, I got my courage and continued to work. Before S came out, I made arrangement for her. A friend in our neighborhood agreed to look after her. Everything seemed fine till S was born. The 8 week period went in a blink of an eye. Just two days before I the day I had to resume to work I had these guilty feeling of leaving my baby with somebody else. I don't remember how but, I decided to quit my job. I am very grateful to P that he supported my decision and I am also grateful that I had the liberty to take that decision as P's income was enough for us.
Well, getting back to SAHM was easy and I was enjoying it till I got a call from my ex-boss asking if I would consider working parttime. First time in my life I felt very lucky. I got flexible time, same position and salary and flexibility of long vacations during summer. As if this was not enough for somebody as greedy as me, I asked if I could take Fridays off during summer and I got that too. I feel very blessed.
I am both SAHM and a WM. For me its just a matter of choice. There is no debate as what one should opt for. It matters only what works for you and your family. Its like whether you take up a job or start your own business. It all depends on your circumstances.
If it is still not clear please refer to the other wonderful posts under this theme...
Just kidding... read them anyways - they are all awesome!
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