Baby Photography

Posted by Kavitha

Ladies,

How/When do you capture those magical moments of your precious little ones ?
Which camera do you use, what kind of photography skills do you need ?
How to take family/home photos that look like they were taken by a professional ?

Whenever I try to take a shot of my son smiling/laughing/doing something that I want to capture in my camera, he would have turned his face to another direction or gotten bored looking into the camera etc.

Stumbled upon SJ's post where she talks about storing and organizing pics, but not about actual shooting though. Would love to hear from you all about how you shoot great pictures of your babies.

Potty Training

Hi Mommies ,
Chintu is getting close to turning 20 months old and I would like to start potty training him. Yes, I see the smiles in all your faces ;) . Can you give me simple tips as to how I can begin ? I have read a lot of articles , but I want to hear from real experiences ...

To be or not to be?

Long, long ago, long before Meera was born, long before Meera could be born, when me and my little sister were kids, we had talked about this question and sort of decided among ourselves (nope, our respective DH's didn't have ANY choice!) that we'll be home for our kids, at least for some time. Me, 2 years and my sister a little longer.. That was the plan. This was not influenced by our mom's work. This was influenced by mom's decision to take up work only after the youngest was at least 2 yrs old. We loved mom working... We were very proud of that. Though we had to eat our breakfast at 7.15 am everyday and wait outside for our auto till 8.30 am, so she could catch her 7.30 am bus; though we had to wait, eat tiffin, play at grandma's place after we came from school till she came back at 6.30 in the evening... we were still very proud of her going to work. You see, She was the only woman in our family circle to go to work. She had double masters degree and I don't think there were even any males in our family, with double graduation, at that time. She is a teacher by profession and one of the very best. We've seen her students come and visit her even after they had kids. Even with her soft voice and soft nature, She brought out and continues to bring out the best in each student. She is such an inspiration for us and her kids at school.

Dad was away most of the time - busy with his business. If we were lucky, we saw him twice/thrice a month, else it will be just once. So, She was almost like a single mom managing home, us and her children at school(that's what she called them, even though they were in XIIth). Since mom worked and did a damn good job managing her work and home, there was not a single question in our minds to go to work. We instinctively knew that we were going to work when we grew up. Amma had rejected many topnotch positions in the field of marine biology and fisheries department, she had rejected an offer to do Phd in her college with full aid from her university. All to be at home with her kids - till they were ready to goto school. Then She picked up the profession of teaching so that it wouldn't interfere/affect with her family and children. She gave up a lot, not because she had to, but because she wanted to. She made a conscious choice and took everything in her stride without any complaints.

Being Amma's daughter, I knew better to put family first. I'm not a very ambitious person. Though my colleagues might differ on that from the way I'm passionate about my work. I LOVE working outside home. And I like to do it really well. I don't care about becoming the next CEO or Director; I just like a job well done. Mine was an arranged marriage - arranged as in Appa found the 'varan' and was happy with the family and left it to me to decide. (Sometimes I think arranged marriage, these days and love marriages aren't very different, but that's totally another post!) I am of the opinion that, in an arranged marriage to work well, the couple should spend the the first year after the wedding together, esp the first six months where you argue and argue till there is nothing to argue about, anymore :) Of course you got to live together for all the years to come but very crucial especially for the first year for the couple to bond better. Since I worked a couple of years in US before my wedding, there was no question of me getting a job here... but it would have been difficult to get a job in the same city as my husband. So, I took a break (for those curious folks, yep! we did argue about almost everything in the first few months and settled down eventually!) and then we moved to Canada.

By this time, I was eager to go back to work. With the baby's arrival, me going back to work had been happily postponed. I wanted to be with her at least a year before I can get back to work. I couldn't have left her with anybody other than me. And we bonded beautifully. She's 11 months already. I might take a few more months before taking up a job. While I like being home and we have a great time, I'm not my happiest best at home. Some need caffeine. I need the stimulation that work provides and a life outside home and people (though sometimes not!!!) for me to function my best. I love the time I spend with my daughter and would do it all over again in a heartbeat.. but I think she'll have an even happier mom who can enjoy her even more when her mom starts working again. We would very much like a second child (not right now though) and I would love to stay at home for the next child too for at least year. It is going to be difficult initially for me to leave her at daycare when I go back to work, but I guess we'll manage somehow. Besides we need the extra money too. We want to take care of our kids' education and also have a safety net to fall back on. There won't be much guilt when I go back to work. I'll be much more happier.

Thanks everybody for sharing your thoughts... I could identify with at least one thing in every single post. Like our lovely Tharini who said so beautifully, we all look for happiness - for our family, for us and be at peace. May we all find that, in this life, without much heartache.

For if momma ain't happy, nobody is.

(There! If you read through my post carefully, you can even find my mother's day post in there somewhere embedded in this post. heheeeee!)

Rainy day activities...

[This post is written by Tharini of Winkie's Way.]

One of my fellow bloggers gave me the suggestion to put together a list of rainy day activities. And I had a pleasurable time recollecting all the little things me and Winkie have done so far, which gave us both many moments of absorption and harmony.

Cut-out sewing pieces

: I found these really interesting things at the Chalkboard

. Little cardboard cutout shapes, with little holes, and multi coloured laces. The idea is much like the basic running stitch. And it encourages the little ones to improve the dexterity in their fingers, which paves the way for beginner writing. This is one of the things Winkie did in school when he first joined Montessori at 2 and a 1/2. And he enjoyed it sooo much there, that I bought one for our home use, and it has filled many a lazy hour with purpose. Even now, he enjoys doing it from time to time whenever I remember to pull it out from the shelf. Another nice thing about it is that you can use these cutouts to trace figures with. And tracing is such fun and once again encourages the fine motor skills of the hands, and you can start off holding the shape, while your child traces, and then progress to letting him hold the shape himself while he traces.

Pasta painted necklace : This is another activity that they did in school. Simple pasta shells of assorted shapes, sizes and designs are coloured on with simple kid friendly paints, allowed to dry and then strung on a twine to make a necklace. It was quite a hands on project that you can do right away, without having to gather/buy too many materials. And with so many different pasta shapes out there....this is a fun project. Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures to show for it, for that necklace of mine has gone missing. :(

Flash cards :

I first bought flash cards when Winkie was close to 2 and 1/2 and we were travelling to India on vacation. This was a means to keep him busy onflight. And it kept him busy for a long long time. There are so many different types of flash cards out there....right from beginner stuff to school level concepts and at least 3 different types of games you can play with each set. And who's to stop you from coming up with more of your own! Definitely a rainy day pick!

Bubble baths :

I resort to this even on regular days, when I am busy and he wants some fun which I can't provide. Run a warm bath, and put in my favorite lavender scent, throw in all the rubber playmates and bubble blowers and he's floated off into his own world for the next 30 precious minutes.

Board games :

He's highly into this right now and up for a game of Boggle, Sequence, Memory or Brain Quest anytime. It takes a while in the beginning to establish an understanding of the game in his mind, but once that is done and we have a few games underway, he becomes quite a delightful playmate, with an attention span of 30 min or under.

Activity books :

You know....like the colouring books, connect the dots, find your way through the maze...that kind of thing.

Little sweeper :

I bought it more so because it was sooo cute but I think it holds good promise for the future. I am speaking of a small little kid sized broom to rope him in to help me sweep up the messy areas. Whenever I used to do it, he'd want to get his hands on the big broom and it was too long to be wieldy enough for him. So this was perfect. I am yet to see him help me properly in the task, but I think we'll get there!

The Cooker :

When he was younger....in that cuddly old age of 2 and thereabouts, he would just loooove to cook. He'd ask for a little pan, a spatula, some dried beans, a glass of water and a little bowl and he would happily absorb himself for a good 1/2 hour. Those were the days! Of course there was a bit of mess to wipe off, and he'd always love to help! Nowadays though, the attention span for the same activity is greatly reduced, he makes a greater mess and refuses to help clean up. But for what its worth, this little activity was a big favorite of his in those days and he'd cook everyday.

Baking :

This is still a hit with Winkie. He loves to help

me bake. Right from measuring and pouring the ingredients, breaking the eggs, whipping it all together, spooning lumps for cookies and being the official taster, he was wholly involved.

Sticker books :

He got the stickers fascination when he was gifted a sticker book by his teacher for his 3rd birthday. We used to work on it almost every evening, little at a time. It is pretty laborious finding the right stickers to stick on each page...and even now we still have many pages we haven't fully finished.

Well, that's it for now. Hoping to hear more suggestions from you guys and add them to the list so its gets more comprehensive for future use. So....write in! :)

Edited to add more activities based on your feedbacks:

Legos: A perennial hit and something that can grow with your child.

Foam Stickers : A very versatile activity, and tons you can do with it.

Indoor Camping :

This is sure to be a hit. Maybe the tents could be brought out only for these special wet days. This also reminds me of those cute tunnels that you get in Ikea. Pretty cheap, and nice to have in the basement, and Winkie can spend endless time inside it with all his favorite toys for company.

Some wonderful websites to look into:

http://www.kneebouncers.com/

http://www.teletubbies.com/

http://www.noggin.com/

http://familyfun.go.com/arts-and-crafts/season/tool/craftfinder_tlp/

http://crafts.kaboose.com/index.html

http://www.highlightskids.com/

http://www.preschooleducation.com/

http://www.enchantedlearning.com/crafts/

http://www.angelfire.com/dc/childsplay/Themes.htm

http://www.dltk-kids.com/

http://www.hitentertainment.com/artattack/menu_artattacks.html

http://fun.familyeducation.com/crafts/games/32870.html

http://www.gulf-shores-alabama-condo-rentals.com/free-printable-travel-games.html

http://www.momsminivan.com/bigkids.html

Pro Choice: In a different sense

[Also posted by Cee Kay at her other blog]

When it comes to a mother's working outside of home or staying at home, I am strictly pro-choice. I believe it should be the woman's choice, and hers alone. After all, it is she who will be juggling home and career and family more than anyone else in the family because, unfortunately, even today our social system is male friendly and doesn't put the responsibility for "balancing" things on men. But that is matter for another post. I shouldn't digress.

Another thing - I never say "Working Moms" because I firmly believe ALL moms work (I have mentioned this in another post of mine - I think). I always say "Working Outside of Home Moms". That's just me :)

For me there never was a question. I grew up watching my mom balance work with home perfectly. I learnt from her that it is possible. And she brought me up believing that I MUST have a career. In our family it was a given that both, my brother and I will study, get a job and get married IN THAT ORDER. My parents taught me from the beginning that the most important thing for me to do was to be financially independent. If I ever showed signs of not taking my studies seriously, my mom would threaten me that she'd marry me off :D And it worked! I took my studies and persuit for a career seriously.

For reasons I have discussed in another post, my career stalled when I got married. But that didn't change my views on this matter. I still believed that a woman should work outside of home even after having children if she wanted to.

I have discussed my views on this in another post on the same debate. But that was in response to a post by MadMomma which, in turn, was in response to a comment of mine (and other similar comments). This time, I will just list my reasons for my choice without getting defensive or offensive. And my views in this matter are solely based on my personal experience and observations.

I work outside of home because I want to. And because I am not stay-at-home material. I believe a happy mother makes a happy family. For a long time I was not a happy mother. Because I had to stay at home. Not by choice. I have seen the effect a woman's unhappiness can have on her entire family - firsthand. I was that woman. There is a marked difference in my home's environment since I started working. But that is a choice that works for me and my family. My husband and I make it work. We work really hard at it so that my working outside of home affects S (and now M) in the least possible way. Because he knows how important it is for me.

I work for intellectual fulfillment. Yes. I need it. I want it. Nothing wrong in that. (I remember reading another post where the tone insinuated it is). When I was home with my daughter, I could feel my intellect stagnating. It doesn't happen to everyone. It happened to me because we were new to this country, with no friends. And later the friends that I did make were moms of my daughter's preschool buddies. We connected because our kids liked each other. There was no other reason. No other connection at an intellectual level. I am not saying that these moms weren't capable of carrying on an intelligent conversation. They were. Many of them were very accomplished in their own fields. But when we met, our conversations revolved around our kids and their needs and our dreams for them and such. I wanted a break from that.

I wanted to work outside of home because I wanted to utilize my skills for something extra. I wasn't content just teaching my child math, and colors and alphabet. I didn't need the whole day to do that. I still teach her a million things in the time that I do get with her. I desparately wanted to be "needed" for my skills. And now, when I am on my maternity leave, I can tell from personal experience that it is a good feeling. When I get calls from my colleagues asking me to help them fix things that no one else can, I feel validated. I feel satisfied that I am making a difference that reaches far outside my home.

I wanted to work outside of home because I firmly believe that will make my daughters more confident and self-dependent. No - I take that back. I am not working to achieve this, but I am sure as a result of my working outside of home, this will happen. Working moms need every family member to pitch in to keep every thing going smoothly. The more things my daughters tackle in their day-to-day routine, the more independent they get, and confident too.

I work to bring in the extra paycheck. Because, like every other parent, I want to give my daughters a better life. I don't want them to have to take out loans to study. Granted it is easy to get student loans in this country but I am an old-fashioned Indian that way. I'll pay for my kids' education like my parents did for me. When I was in college, it was really a comfort to know that my parents would pay for my studies as long as I wanted to continue. On the other hand, J had to work full-time to put himself through graduate school. He would leave for work at 9:30 in the morning and return at 11 in night after classes. I believe he could have worked much harder at his studies if he didn't need to work full time to pay for it. And we are both sure we don't want to put our children through that kind of struggle.

I work outside of home because I worked very hard to get to this point. I didn't bear shitty behaviour from my uncle and aunt (yes I did) and still continue my studies for three long years to sit at home. I did it because I wanted to get somewhere. I went through that hardship to make a career for myself.

I don't believe that my kids will miss out on life if I work out of home. I don't think they will come to harm either. Of course, if I am going to work, I am going to make sure that I find good care for them. It will be criminal on my part if I don't do that. I will make sure that the care available to them is the best possible and will keep an eye on things to make sure everything remains the way I want it to.

I also work outside of home because I worry about the future. If something were to happen to J, I want to be able to provide for my kids without having to depend on anyone - even family. I have thought a lot about what I will do if worse came to worst. What if I cannot pay the mortgage on the house or save for the girls' future? I have even made plans in my mind(like moving to a low-cost-of-living state, or to a smaller house) and we are also looking into Life Insurance to make sure that the girls will be least affected should something happen to either or both of us. Recently a dear friend had emergency surgery and then later found out he has B-cell Lymphoma (cancer of the Lymphatic system). He has already been at home for a month. His wife had to take two weeks off to take care of him. His mom came here from India as soon as she heard about his surgery. This all involved expenses. If they didn't have any savings, they would have been in a serious jam right now. If his wife didn't work, she would have one more worry of finances on top of everything else that is going on. One has to be capable of and prepared for anything that life throws at them. It is easier to think that one can find a job if the need arises than to find an actual job. If, God forbid, the need arises there are going to be a lot of things clamoring for my attention and at that time looking for a job might be impossible for me even if my survival depended on it. In such a situation, I will have to accept the first job that comes my way instead of holding out for one that suits my qualifications and needs better. Of course, this is "galss half empty" kind of mentality but I always believed in hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.

This is not a complete list of my reasons to work outside of home in any way. I have too many things going on right now to sit down and compile an exhaustive list. And the haze of sleep deprivation often obscures any rational thought I get in my mind. This is what came to my mind just as I was typing this post. I have been delaying the posting of it because I wanted to complete the list but now I can't think anymore. So... much... thinking... my... head... hurts...

Home is where the heart is....and my heart is lodged deep within my home. :)

[This post is written by Tharini of Winkie's Way.]

I never knew much about or thought too much about the terms SAHM and WM, before I came into the blogging world. And never have I thought so deeply about my own choices in this matter until I started to understand what a complicated decision it tends to be in many of our minds.

I love being at home. I l.o.v.e it. It is really as simple as that. I am qualified as an accountant, and have worked in consulting before I was married, and after coming here, I was lucky enough to secure a job with a small business firm, as a full time staff accountant. I worked full time, until Akhil was born. That was 4 years ago. And then, predictably, I took the next year and 1/2 off. I took a long holiday to India, and just generally got into the groove of being a mother. And I didn't miss my job one bit. That's when my boss called and asked me to come back. I wanted to work only part-time. He was ok with that. If my son was sick, I wanted days off. Fine, he said. And so I started working again. And Akhil started part-time babysitting. It was the perfect age for him too. At close to 2 years, he needed little periods of separation from me and interaction with the outside world. He got a bit of both, in a home environment. His babysitter even potty trained him for me, as a bonus. :)

When he was 2 and 1/2, he started Montessori, again part-time. It was the perfect arrangement for us. I had some time away from home and kid and got to use my mind in a professional capacity, and then I got the remainder of the time to spend like I wanted catching up with my son and his life. But even thru all this, there was always this yearning to be at home (sounds crazy I know!) and just be in my own space and do my own thing. That's just how I am. I love to just be. By myself. Being alone with my own thoughts does not bore or frighten me. I don't crave for external stimulation. I can always find loads of things to keep me busy in my space. So many new things to learn and discover....for instance...I took up sewing on my own once I had a chance to be home, I learnt a lot of new softwares, photo editing, home video editing, dabbled in a bit of craft work, began to write (my biggest love), caught up on my reading (second only to writing), and ultimately discovered that I have a interest in children's books and would love to try my hand at it. So even when I went to work and enjoyed it, I always looked forward to the times I could be home and do all these things that kept me happy.

So when I got pregnant with Sathya, it was the perfect opportunity to once again break free from those obligations and commit myself to a home life once more. I worked until my 8th month and then enjoyed my 4 walls the rest of the time. Now, he's 6 months old and I am still riding on that high wave of being free to be. I love having the time to actually go to the gym and allow myself a peaceful workout, rather than cramming it into an already packed day. I love cooking fresh meals 3 times a day and feeling satisfied that I am doing something that nurtures my family. I love trying to get better organised in keeping house, and having a clean home at any given point of time, such that if a guest were to drop in unexpectedly I wudnt have to scramble to tidy up. I love having a few uninterrupted hours with Sathya in the mornings, the way I used to with his brother. I would have hated to miss any chunk of his baby days. They're too precious, this is my last baby and time is flying already. I love making myself a hot cup of tea on a rainy day and just watch the raindrops, if I feel like it. And I love that I can just switch on the TV and watch a movie if that's what I felt like doing.

In essence, I just love these little freedoms that you have when you are on your own turf. I think its part of my Saggitarian tendency to not feel bound to anything, else there is the violent need to break free. Work always felt like a restriction of my impulses. I know that sounds utterly selfish, but this is what I have figured out to be the reasons why I do what I do. Sure, the money is tight on a single income. And with 2 home loans to support (here and back in India), we barely manage to get substantial savings. Perhaps that ought to bother me more, but somehow it doesn't. We live simply. As simply as we can and try everyday to be even more basic. Its like what Sheela said in her post....we curtail containable expenses like not subscribing to cable TV, having a very basic phone connection with no extra services, buy only the seasonal veggies and fruits which happen to be cheaper, don't go overboard buying things to do up the house, but instead work towards keeping it clean and clutter free, and in loads of other ways.

My husband is very very supportive. He is not an ambitious person either. In that way we have found ourselves very compatible. We like to drift along with the current, putting our trust in nature and our faith in our spiritual quest. And for my part, since I have learnt to be more and more organised with more and more time at home, he doesn't have much household duties. I see to that. But he is still a very involved and hands on father. And when I ask for help, he gives it without question. And I try to keep things stress free and pleasant for him at home. This works for both of us. I am happy in my element, and he is happy when I am happy, and when he can relax at home. Of course, the day he feels that he would find it helpful if I worked too, I will jump in to help. It will require a lot of sacrifice on my part but I will do it.

In any case, I don't see my SAH position as a permanent one. It is just something that I want to do right now. As time goes by and should my needs change, I would love to take up something of my own. Maybe a home business, or working in the non-profit sector, or getting involved in a cause, I would love to give my time and effort to something that I see would make a tangible difference to things that matter on this earth. I don't know what those things are yet for me....but I have faith that when the time comes, I will recognise my calling. Right now, I am cherishing this time I have for myself, this time to dedicate to nurturing my family in full...and to just be within, in peace.

On a final note...I think what is of value is to be happy today...whether we work outside for a pay or work at home for ourselves. Find contentment....find bliss. And learn to empathise sincerely with all other women and people. As women, we are amazingly resilient and when I see the sheer diversity of all the various choices we make in our lives, and try and balance everything to the best of our human abilities, I feel s.o i.m.m.e.n.s.e.l.y p.r.o.u.d of all of us. I read all the posts on this topic and just marvel at what a range of thoughts there is, and how they all lead ultimately, to the same simple end.....to find happiness, to do our best by our children and family, to be at peace. May we all get there, in this life, without too much heartache....bless everyone!

Inputs requested for Project YehiSahi

A mail I received yesterday. Haven't checked out the site yet but intend to do so soon. I think we at Desi Momz Club can help by giving inputs, what say ? Looks like an interesting project, if you think so please give your inputs at their site.



Dear ...,



We, at the Incubation Centre of SP Jain Institute of Management and Research, Mumbai, are working on a project to help young parents create a stimulating and fun home environment for their children and help them spend quality time with their children.



For this purpose, we have 2 things line up (So Far).



1. An interactive session on "How to spend quality time with your children?". This is specially designed for young working couples. The tone of the session has been kept very empathetic. Its along the lines of "how to make the most of what you get?"



2. A service to help parents obtain age appropriate toys, books, cds etc. ( http://www.yehisahi.com )



What we need right now is feedback from parents about our offerings and what else would they like to see from us.



It would be really great if desimomz could contribute to this project by giving their inputs.In return, we can link your blogs to our website and drive more traffic to your blogs.Also if (and after) you find our attempt honest, we would be glad to put paid links on your blogs.



Giving feedback would be very easy, as we have a "we are listening" section on our website.Please let me know if you can think of someway of working together. (For your reference, i am also sending a brief about our team)



Look forward to your response



Regards,

Arpit Agrawal,

Founder-Director, YehiSahi.