Theme For September

ISG chose a *hot* theme for August -- SAHM or WM?
That was a great topic and a tough act to follow!
What better than to take ISG's weather idea and run with it?

With autumn advancing, little chill in the mornings and maple trees just beginning to turn, I thought about this for a theme:

Back To School!

Do you have school-aged kids?

I sent my baby girl to her sophomore year of high school today, and on Monday will send my firstborn off to sophomore year of college; where has the time gone?!? As many Septembers as we’ve done this, I still feel that tiny twinge of bittersweet tugging at my heart… nostalgic longing for the little ones they once were, but more, immense pride in the young adults they have become.

One thing we moms all have in common -- sending our children to school can be a little traumatic for everyone involved — the young scholar, Mom and Dad, even a younger sibling left at home. This is especially true if we're sending our baby off for the first time! As a veteran of many “back-to-school” days, I can tell you that no matter how frightening it may seem to watch your little one toddle out into the big wide world, their joy in sharing their accomplishments with you, and your delight in them will soon erase any fears. It gets easier as time goes on, but you, too, may feel that little twinge tugging at your heart.

Feel free to share your thoughts, feelings, fears, hopes and aspirations for your kids as we send them “back to school”.

Also, if you take photos of the ‘first day’ like I always do, feel free to share those as well, if you’re comfortable with that! (Photos are ok with the administrators — I already checked with Sandeepa although I think she wanted me to post a pic of my classic PB-and-J sandwich!).

Here are my kids on their respective 'first days', way back when they were just babies, "toddling off" :)





If your kids aren't yet school-aged, or if they're grown and gone, feel free to share your thoughts regardless. Likewise, if you home-school, please share that with us as well. Or perhaps we have some teachers among us... everyone's thoughts are welcome! No hard and fast rules -- it's all about learning and watching our little ones grow :)

I look forward to reading your ideas, and thanks Sandeepa, for the chance to post a Theme of the Month :)

Introduction and my thoughts on WAHM/WOHM

Hello to all you wonderful Mums out there,

I'm a new member here. Thank you, Sandeepa, for adding me to the group.

Originally from Hyderabad, I now live in Europe - so I miss the sunshine! That says it all about the weather here, I guess :-)

I am a mother of 2 girls, and currently a SAHM (stay-at-home Mum). My girls are both under 4 years of age. I have grown to define myself first and most as a mother, and I marvel at this fact and wonder at the change in myself that motherhood has wrought.

It took me a while to understand this - that being a Mum deserves to be called a 'career' in it's own right - it's a job that requires endless patience and inventiveness. So now when somebody asks me what I'm doing about my 'career', I ask, "which one? I have 2. I'm concentrating on the first one. The second career is temporarily on hold. I'll go back to it when these 2 little critters don't need me as much as they do now".

I have keenly followed the topic of SAHM/WOHM on this forum. Many of you have written your views eloquently. They've all been interesting. You've mostly said it all, and I don't think there is much to add.

You know, it's not a 'this-versus-that' thing at all. It's not a question of which do you think is better, it's a question of what you want for your children/family and how you decide to reach that goal. It's a question of priorities. And it's unique to every situation, every family.

I think there are many people here who've worked and stayed at home at various times in their life. All parents would agree on one point - you do what you have to do to give your family the best chance in life. (Applies as much to me and you as to the poor women leaving their families and going abroad to do domestic duties. As far as this point is concerned, it's all down to our primal instinct to do what we think will be best for our kids.)

At the moment, I have decided to not work for as long as is necessary for my girls and family. I realize that as they grow older and spend more time at school, I will have plenty of time at my disposal.

I'll work again -later - because it's unfair to not use my professional talent and expertise. It took about 12 years to acquire it, so it would not be right to waste it away. As a medical professional, I can do immense good for the society I live in. So I will......just as soon as both my kiddies are in school for the greater part of the day.

On my first break, after working for 10 years, I was pretty much enslaved by my firstborn (she was demanding, temperamental, spirited and one step ahead of me - still is ). I had become a real homebody, when a very good job offer came my way. After a lot of thought, I started working again full-time. It was tough for all three of us. I worked till she was nearly 3, when I took another break for my second child.

This time, I had learnt enough from experience to make the decision to stay at home for at least 2 years after the birth.

Although some days they drive me crazy and make me admit that practicing medicine was a lot easier, on the whole I cherish the time I have with them. Their childhood won't come back.

I want to say that our children are not the only ones growing - so are we. We grow and learn from our experiences every day.

So I've changed from a staunch career-woman ("I want to be Head of the Dept before 35") to a 'working Mum' (oxymoron isn't it - who works harder than Mums?) who was willing to accept 'some' compromises("okay, okay, I'll get there before 45"), to a now mostly SAHM who won't even consider working till her child is at least 2 years ("I'll settle for doing something good for society while looking after my precious girls - somebody else can be the HOD").

That's how kids change you. And it's good that they do. I have accepted this change with happiness.

For now, I'm not in a rush to get anywhere further career-wise. At my own pace, I'll get there :-).

When there is no Choice....

Last week while I was driving back home from work, I heard an interview with Nisha Varia on NPR. Nisha Varia is a researcher with the Human Rights watch and I was not able to get the transcript of the interview on NPR, but her talk was centered around the abuse of Domestic Workers. This article, though not from NPR is on the same lines of her talk.

What touched me most was when asked why do these women workers choose to work abroad(in this case they were talking of Saudi Arabia which is a large employer of domestic workers) inspite of knowing the horror stories, she said that many of them cry to leave behind their children and family whom they might not see again for a long time but they do it to provide their children with food and basic amenities.

And I thought while we discuss our choices of staying at home or working outside let us take a glance at those millions of female migrant workers, many of whom are mothers, who work not because they have a choice but because they want to bring food to the table


"Human Rights Watch said that the numbers of women migrants has increased significantly over the last three decades, and they now comprise approximately half of the estimated 200 million migrants worldwide. The feminization of labor migration is particularly pronounced in the Philippines, Indonesia and Sri Lanka, where national-level estimates indicate that women comprise 60-75 percent of legal migrants, many of whom are employed as domestic workers in the Middle East and Asia. " (Source here)

Inspite of the abuse these women turn to work as domestic help to earn money and to provide their children with a better life


“Millions of women and girls turn to domestic work as one of the few economic opportunities available to them,” said Varia. “Abuses often take place in private homes and are totally hidden from the public eye.”

This is just an example, there are millions of mothers out there who work not to buy a BMW but to buy basic food for their children.

Do you think we as a community could do anything for them ? Please drop in your suggestions or if you are associated with any such organisation and have a clue as how someone could help let us know.

We at least have a choice and let's be grateful for that.

Baby Photography

Posted by Kavitha

Ladies,

How/When do you capture those magical moments of your precious little ones ?
Which camera do you use, what kind of photography skills do you need ?
How to take family/home photos that look like they were taken by a professional ?

Whenever I try to take a shot of my son smiling/laughing/doing something that I want to capture in my camera, he would have turned his face to another direction or gotten bored looking into the camera etc.

Stumbled upon SJ's post where she talks about storing and organizing pics, but not about actual shooting though. Would love to hear from you all about how you shoot great pictures of your babies.

Potty Training

Hi Mommies ,
Chintu is getting close to turning 20 months old and I would like to start potty training him. Yes, I see the smiles in all your faces ;) . Can you give me simple tips as to how I can begin ? I have read a lot of articles , but I want to hear from real experiences ...

To be or not to be?

Long, long ago, long before Meera was born, long before Meera could be born, when me and my little sister were kids, we had talked about this question and sort of decided among ourselves (nope, our respective DH's didn't have ANY choice!) that we'll be home for our kids, at least for some time. Me, 2 years and my sister a little longer.. That was the plan. This was not influenced by our mom's work. This was influenced by mom's decision to take up work only after the youngest was at least 2 yrs old. We loved mom working... We were very proud of that. Though we had to eat our breakfast at 7.15 am everyday and wait outside for our auto till 8.30 am, so she could catch her 7.30 am bus; though we had to wait, eat tiffin, play at grandma's place after we came from school till she came back at 6.30 in the evening... we were still very proud of her going to work. You see, She was the only woman in our family circle to go to work. She had double masters degree and I don't think there were even any males in our family, with double graduation, at that time. She is a teacher by profession and one of the very best. We've seen her students come and visit her even after they had kids. Even with her soft voice and soft nature, She brought out and continues to bring out the best in each student. She is such an inspiration for us and her kids at school.

Dad was away most of the time - busy with his business. If we were lucky, we saw him twice/thrice a month, else it will be just once. So, She was almost like a single mom managing home, us and her children at school(that's what she called them, even though they were in XIIth). Since mom worked and did a damn good job managing her work and home, there was not a single question in our minds to go to work. We instinctively knew that we were going to work when we grew up. Amma had rejected many topnotch positions in the field of marine biology and fisheries department, she had rejected an offer to do Phd in her college with full aid from her university. All to be at home with her kids - till they were ready to goto school. Then She picked up the profession of teaching so that it wouldn't interfere/affect with her family and children. She gave up a lot, not because she had to, but because she wanted to. She made a conscious choice and took everything in her stride without any complaints.

Being Amma's daughter, I knew better to put family first. I'm not a very ambitious person. Though my colleagues might differ on that from the way I'm passionate about my work. I LOVE working outside home. And I like to do it really well. I don't care about becoming the next CEO or Director; I just like a job well done. Mine was an arranged marriage - arranged as in Appa found the 'varan' and was happy with the family and left it to me to decide. (Sometimes I think arranged marriage, these days and love marriages aren't very different, but that's totally another post!) I am of the opinion that, in an arranged marriage to work well, the couple should spend the the first year after the wedding together, esp the first six months where you argue and argue till there is nothing to argue about, anymore :) Of course you got to live together for all the years to come but very crucial especially for the first year for the couple to bond better. Since I worked a couple of years in US before my wedding, there was no question of me getting a job here... but it would have been difficult to get a job in the same city as my husband. So, I took a break (for those curious folks, yep! we did argue about almost everything in the first few months and settled down eventually!) and then we moved to Canada.

By this time, I was eager to go back to work. With the baby's arrival, me going back to work had been happily postponed. I wanted to be with her at least a year before I can get back to work. I couldn't have left her with anybody other than me. And we bonded beautifully. She's 11 months already. I might take a few more months before taking up a job. While I like being home and we have a great time, I'm not my happiest best at home. Some need caffeine. I need the stimulation that work provides and a life outside home and people (though sometimes not!!!) for me to function my best. I love the time I spend with my daughter and would do it all over again in a heartbeat.. but I think she'll have an even happier mom who can enjoy her even more when her mom starts working again. We would very much like a second child (not right now though) and I would love to stay at home for the next child too for at least year. It is going to be difficult initially for me to leave her at daycare when I go back to work, but I guess we'll manage somehow. Besides we need the extra money too. We want to take care of our kids' education and also have a safety net to fall back on. There won't be much guilt when I go back to work. I'll be much more happier.

Thanks everybody for sharing your thoughts... I could identify with at least one thing in every single post. Like our lovely Tharini who said so beautifully, we all look for happiness - for our family, for us and be at peace. May we all find that, in this life, without much heartache.

For if momma ain't happy, nobody is.

(There! If you read through my post carefully, you can even find my mother's day post in there somewhere embedded in this post. heheeeee!)

Rainy day activities...

[This post is written by Tharini of Winkie's Way.]

One of my fellow bloggers gave me the suggestion to put together a list of rainy day activities. And I had a pleasurable time recollecting all the little things me and Winkie have done so far, which gave us both many moments of absorption and harmony.

Cut-out sewing pieces

: I found these really interesting things at the Chalkboard

. Little cardboard cutout shapes, with little holes, and multi coloured laces. The idea is much like the basic running stitch. And it encourages the little ones to improve the dexterity in their fingers, which paves the way for beginner writing. This is one of the things Winkie did in school when he first joined Montessori at 2 and a 1/2. And he enjoyed it sooo much there, that I bought one for our home use, and it has filled many a lazy hour with purpose. Even now, he enjoys doing it from time to time whenever I remember to pull it out from the shelf. Another nice thing about it is that you can use these cutouts to trace figures with. And tracing is such fun and once again encourages the fine motor skills of the hands, and you can start off holding the shape, while your child traces, and then progress to letting him hold the shape himself while he traces.

Pasta painted necklace : This is another activity that they did in school. Simple pasta shells of assorted shapes, sizes and designs are coloured on with simple kid friendly paints, allowed to dry and then strung on a twine to make a necklace. It was quite a hands on project that you can do right away, without having to gather/buy too many materials. And with so many different pasta shapes out there....this is a fun project. Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures to show for it, for that necklace of mine has gone missing. :(

Flash cards :

I first bought flash cards when Winkie was close to 2 and 1/2 and we were travelling to India on vacation. This was a means to keep him busy onflight. And it kept him busy for a long long time. There are so many different types of flash cards out there....right from beginner stuff to school level concepts and at least 3 different types of games you can play with each set. And who's to stop you from coming up with more of your own! Definitely a rainy day pick!

Bubble baths :

I resort to this even on regular days, when I am busy and he wants some fun which I can't provide. Run a warm bath, and put in my favorite lavender scent, throw in all the rubber playmates and bubble blowers and he's floated off into his own world for the next 30 precious minutes.

Board games :

He's highly into this right now and up for a game of Boggle, Sequence, Memory or Brain Quest anytime. It takes a while in the beginning to establish an understanding of the game in his mind, but once that is done and we have a few games underway, he becomes quite a delightful playmate, with an attention span of 30 min or under.

Activity books :

You know....like the colouring books, connect the dots, find your way through the maze...that kind of thing.

Little sweeper :

I bought it more so because it was sooo cute but I think it holds good promise for the future. I am speaking of a small little kid sized broom to rope him in to help me sweep up the messy areas. Whenever I used to do it, he'd want to get his hands on the big broom and it was too long to be wieldy enough for him. So this was perfect. I am yet to see him help me properly in the task, but I think we'll get there!

The Cooker :

When he was younger....in that cuddly old age of 2 and thereabouts, he would just loooove to cook. He'd ask for a little pan, a spatula, some dried beans, a glass of water and a little bowl and he would happily absorb himself for a good 1/2 hour. Those were the days! Of course there was a bit of mess to wipe off, and he'd always love to help! Nowadays though, the attention span for the same activity is greatly reduced, he makes a greater mess and refuses to help clean up. But for what its worth, this little activity was a big favorite of his in those days and he'd cook everyday.

Baking :

This is still a hit with Winkie. He loves to help

me bake. Right from measuring and pouring the ingredients, breaking the eggs, whipping it all together, spooning lumps for cookies and being the official taster, he was wholly involved.

Sticker books :

He got the stickers fascination when he was gifted a sticker book by his teacher for his 3rd birthday. We used to work on it almost every evening, little at a time. It is pretty laborious finding the right stickers to stick on each page...and even now we still have many pages we haven't fully finished.

Well, that's it for now. Hoping to hear more suggestions from you guys and add them to the list so its gets more comprehensive for future use. So....write in! :)

Edited to add more activities based on your feedbacks:

Legos: A perennial hit and something that can grow with your child.

Foam Stickers : A very versatile activity, and tons you can do with it.

Indoor Camping :

This is sure to be a hit. Maybe the tents could be brought out only for these special wet days. This also reminds me of those cute tunnels that you get in Ikea. Pretty cheap, and nice to have in the basement, and Winkie can spend endless time inside it with all his favorite toys for company.

Some wonderful websites to look into:

http://www.kneebouncers.com/

http://www.teletubbies.com/

http://www.noggin.com/

http://familyfun.go.com/arts-and-crafts/season/tool/craftfinder_tlp/

http://crafts.kaboose.com/index.html

http://www.highlightskids.com/

http://www.preschooleducation.com/

http://www.enchantedlearning.com/crafts/

http://www.angelfire.com/dc/childsplay/Themes.htm

http://www.dltk-kids.com/

http://www.hitentertainment.com/artattack/menu_artattacks.html

http://fun.familyeducation.com/crafts/games/32870.html

http://www.gulf-shores-alabama-condo-rentals.com/free-printable-travel-games.html

http://www.momsminivan.com/bigkids.html