Pat a cake, pat a cake

Pat a cake, Pat a cake
Bakers man
Bake me a cake as fast as you can
Pat it and Prick it and mark it with a T
Then put it in the oven for Teddy and ...

“Chip!” Chip completes the rhyme excitedly. And then asks, “Does that cake have egg in it?” “No sweetie.”, I reply. “That’s a special cake. No eggs.”

Chip is allergic to egg. Both yolks and whites. It means that his body does not recognize the egg protein as a harmless food. It attacks the egg protein by releasing immunoglobulinE that cause certain histamines to be released in his blood, causing a severe reaction. He gets hives, his face and ears inflame, he itches, gets unbelievable stomach cramps and finally his body tries to get rid of the offensive substance by making him violently sick. When Chip was younger, he would also wheeze – his airways would get inflamed as well. Fortunately egg allergies rarely result in an anaphylactic shock – something that nut allergies can snowball into.

For Chip, the tiniest amount of egg causes a severe reaction. (For differences between intolerance and allergy refer to Tara and PG’s posts). Pastas made on equipment shared with products that have egg in them. A bite of a bread brushed with egg whites. A tiny dot of ice-cream containing egg yolks. When he was younger, even touching egg products would bring on a dermatological reaction – the site of contact would get itchy and he would develop rash or hives. As he has grown older, the response has toned down in its ferocity. Instead of suffering for a few hours, he suffers for one. His pediatrician thinks he might outgrow the allergy by the time he is 5 or 6, and even if he doesn’t, it would downgrade to an intolerance level- he should be able to enjoy a small slice of cake or half a muffin by the time he reaches adulthood. He might not be able to eat a plate of eggs all his life.

Chip was diagnosed with egg allergy when he was 10mo old. The allergy had manifested itself once before, when I gave him a dot of peach ice-cream, he grew red instantly and howled and vomited multiple times. But he suffered from colitis as a baby and we attributed it to that fact. When he started flailing his hands and turning red and having severe bouts of vomiting, twice, when I fed him french toast, I suspected an allergy and the doctor confirmed it. Chip also has eczema and asthma, which put him in the high-risk group for food allergies as is.

Having an egg allergy is difficult. A lot of foods have egg or egg derivatives in them. Baked goods, salad dressings, battered foods, ice-creams, chocolates, potato chips, corn chips can have egg in them. So do influenza vaccines (which Chip does not get). The first few months after the diagnosis were hard. Two years ago, many foods did not list egg as an allergen 9many still don't), so before buying every processed product I had to learn to read labels. Before buying every ice-cream at the concession stand I would have to ask to see the list of ingredients. Before buying every pizza, I would ask the restaurant to provide me with a list of ingredients. Often we would turn back with Chip not getting the ice-cream, pizza or chicken nuggets. Baked goodies were avoided like the plague. The nanny was taught to spot an allergic reaction and dispense Benadryl. Then the same process repeated when he started daycare.

The first thing we realized in dealing with Chip’s allergy was that we had to make him aware and educate him. By the time he was two, we taught him to ask “Does this have egg?” when offered a new food. And to decline if it did. He did admirably, most of the times, but sometimes it was hard for him, especially when a plate of birthday cake with colorful icing was offered to him, and on many occasions he ended up having a meltdown and refused to accept substitutes. But he learnt. We reminded him of what an allergic reaction would do to him. It was not the world’s most pleasant experiences. He also learnt to identify when he was having an allergic reaction and alert a grown up.

He did me proud a few weeks ago. We had carried chocolates for our family when we visited India. Twix and mars bars and three musketeers, that sort of thing. Someone offered Chip a chocolate and he ate it –nobody thought chocolates had egg in them. A few seconds later, Chip ran into the kitchen proclaiming he was having an allergic reaction. “To what?” I asked. He said he had eating a piece of candy and it had egg in it. The signs were all there. He was itching, his face had inflamed. I gave him ½ tsp of Benadryl, but it was too late. His stomach started to growl and he started to howl in pain as cramps twisted inside his little tummy and a minute later, he violently threw up. This was not the first time Chip had eaten candy. He ate lollipops and gold coins all the time – it was just luck that he had never consumed candy with egg in it – I really had no idea candy would have egg.

It’s hard for Chip at birthday parties. And other social occasions. And it’s hard for us. I wish people were a little more sensitive to his allergies. Especially in the desi circles. I remember an incident a few weeks ago in India. We were visiting some family and they had bread (the paav, not the sliced bread) for dinner. It came from a small bakery, with no nutritional information anywhere. A similar paav had caused an allergic reaction in Chip once and I was cautious. I asked Chip’s aunt if there were any rotis for Chip or rice. The paav might have an egg glaze. She said she could make rotis, no problem, but could he not “try” the bread and see if it had egg in it? I did not know whether to laugh or beat my head against the wall.

Parents whose kids have allergies are most understanding. I have two such friends (one of them is gnd) who will always have a ready substitute on hand for Chip. And for that I am grateful to them. Another friend is also very understanding. Her child has no food allergies, but knowing how hard it would be on Chip, she asked me before her daughter’s 1st birthday party if it was OK for them to cut cake in front of Chip. I thanked her for her consideration and quietly took Chip away to the garden while cake was served. Most people don’t realize what it is to have a food allergy, in a social sense, for a young child. To be “different” like this. It’s not easy for a child. So, I have taken the liberty of compiling a list of dos and don’ts for all of you out there that are fortunate to not suffer food allergies.

Don’t feed my child without asking me first.
Although Chip will ask if a food has egg in it, he is only three and very often he will forget. Check with me or his father before you feed him anything. For parents of young children who are allergic, there is a good selection of tees and onesies at cafrepress.com. Just search for 'allergy' and you will get results for tees with things like “Don’t feed me, I am allergic to XYZ.” It’s great if you are attending large parties or if your child is starting a new daycare.

Do inform the parents which foods with common allergens will be served at a party
While your menu should be allergen-free when a child with severe allergies (like nuts) is invited, for most other non-anaphalytic shock causing allergies (like egg), a warning will be appreciated. The parents can then decide how best to handle the situation.

Do serve alternate foods
Don’t make it a party where the child can only eat potato chips and nothing else. Children are very sensitive. Do offer some, other non-allergic foods.

Don’t pity my child
Not to his face, at least. Admire his courage instead, when he declines a piece of most yummy looking cake. I have had friends exclaim loudly to me at parties “This is such a pity. So sad he can’t eat the cake.” To Chip’s face. Don’t rub it in.

Don’t thrust a cake in my face when I am shaking my head to a “no”
This does not mean I am disrespecting your party/guest of honor. It only means I am going to give my son some company while he sits by himself, unable to enjoy the goodies. And yes, please refrain from asking things like “Even if Chip can’t eat, you can eat, na?” in Chip’s presence. Especially when he is whining for that item. The child is old enough to understand. And if you do ask, don’t be offended by what I answer.

Do educate your own child about food allergies even if your child doesn’t have them
No parent wants their child to be weird of different. In the US at least, there is a growing allergy awareness and kids are understanding. In India, even adults think allergies is a firang disorder and will tell you so. No idea what their kids will do.

This post is a part of an allergy awareness month started by Tara. Please share your stories and comments and help spread the word around.

Cross posted on : http://thekarmacallingblog.blogspot.com/2008/11/pat-cake-pat-cake.html

(This post is written by swapna susarla)

Hi Everybody..

Do any body know about "Monoamniotic twins"?Have anyone of u experienced this type of situation(Monoamniotic pregnancy)?What special care one should take if they are having this type of twins?I really need ur suggestions ..

Thanku .

To Homeschool or not to homeschool?

I have had issues with the education system in this country and the sheer pace at which it forces children through a fixed curriculum. You put in your child into playschool in this country when he or she is still in diapers, still unable to speak, still to develop their gross motor skills to perfection, forget the fine motor skills. And then, the syllabus. And the speed at which it is rushed through before the child is even able to grasp or comprehend what is being taught to him or her.
But yes, the children cope. Or rather, we force them to cope. My son, as you might know from my blog, is struggling. He has issues with attention, with hyperactivity, and I am fully aware of his issues and working with him.
The entire rush at which we start morphing our children into pressurised little studious robots has always had me wondering if there was an option. If there was a method by which I could take his unique interests and integrate them into his studies, considering he was lagging behind awfully in class, despite the fact that he does, blasphemy, go for tuitions after school, and I sit with him and do his school and tuition homework with him every single day.
My search for options lead me to google baba and to Homeschooling. The premise is interesting. I could draw up age appropriate syllabus according to the class my son is in and work on it with him at home. And I discovered on Wikipedia that it is legal in India.
But do I have the courage to withdraw him from organised school and go through the homeschooling experiment, especially in this competitive world where a piece of paper from an educational institution can make all the difference between a career and stagnation? I dont. Honestly, I dont. So I will opt for the happy compromise of having him go to regular school. And working with him at home with a syllabus more suited to his level of comprehension and understanding and willingness to grasp. Without pressurising him as much as I can manage it.
Research conducted by Raymond S Moore in the 1970s revealed that putting children into the education system too early was detrimental to their self esteem. The resultant book, Better Late than Early has a self explanatory title.
What are the advantages of homeschooling? The child gets one on one attention from the parent or the primary care give who is involved as much emotionally as is mentally in the process of educating the child. The syllabus can be tailored to the individual interest of the child and the parent will move up the syllabus is consonance with the speed with which the child assimilates what is being taught.
A group of parents can get together to form a core homeschooling team with each parent taking on a single subject and preparing lessons accordingly, if parents are able to find likeminded parents who share the desire to homeschool their children.
As to the syllabus, it can be developed through interenet downloaded resources, through books and educational DVDs, and text books meant for the level of class the child would be in should the child be in regular school. The flexibility of homeschooling is that, you can take lessons at your convenience. You can speed up or slow down according to the child's mastery of the subject, and you can devote one on one attention to the child.
There are plenty of parents out here who are homeschooling their children as an option to the standardised Brick in the Wall education system we follow. Their children are as intelligent, informed and capable or even better than those who go to regular school.
But homeschooling is not the rosy picture it seems. For one, the parent must have the ability to teach. And that is a natural ability that makes imparting knowledge interesting and fun for the child. The Good Lord knows I have to work really hard on that part. For another, the parent has to be disciplined enough to ensure that they have their study sessions every day regardless of distractions. For another, there is always the fear that the child is not upto snuff when compared with other children their age. The assumption is that school learning is the norm and is therefore better for the child.
The debate includes whether the child will be deprived of peer socialisation, and fail to develop adequate social skills in such a homeschooling setting. And also, when is the child ready and able to join institutionalised education and will the child then feel a misfit. All these questions still are under debate. But the bottom line is that homeschooling is an idea whose time has come, especially with all the parents out here, dismayed with the sheer insensitivity and overload the education system is putting on our precious little children.
I am going to try it out, in my own form, while staying put in the school. Any resources that would help, would be welcome. And any opinions too!
Would you homeschool your child, if you could?
Notable homeschooled individuals?
Numerous historical and current public figures were home-educated[2][56][57]. Some examples include:
Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) the 16th President of the United States, received very little schooling, but was an avid reader and taught himself how to read, write, and do arithmetic.[56][58]
Andrew Wyeth (1917), an American realist painter, was taken out of school at young age because of illness, he then received education on art and other subjects from his parents.[59][56]
Bode Miller (1977), an American alpine skier, was homeschooled by his parents until he was ten. [60]
Che Guevara (1928), left-wing guerrilla leader in Cuba, Africa, and Bolivia, and prison commandant and national bank president in Cuba, born in Argentina, was educated at home, mainly by his mother, until the age of 13.[61]
Ernst Mach, Austria, Physicist. Homeschooled until highschool by his parents.[62]
Erwin Schrödinger, Austria, Nobel Prize-winning physicist. Homeschooled until age 10[63]
Elizabeth II (1926), the queen of the United Kingdom, received early education at home, later she attended lessons in constitutional history at Eton College.[64]
George Washington, United States, First United States President[56]
Rosa Parks, United States, civil rights activist, homeschooled until age 11[65]
Sho Yano, United States, child prodigy
Susan La Flesche Picotte, United States, first American Indian woman physician
Thomas Edison (1847-1931) an American inventor and businessman, was taught reading, writing and arithmetic by his mother. Before that he left school after only three months, as he had trouble following the lessons. Most of his other education he received from reading books on his own.[66]
Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924) the 28th President of the United States, was home educated by his father because of the Civil War. When he was nineteen he entered the Princeton University.[56]

Resources: http://www.alternativeeducationindia.net/

Our Journey of the Lost Pound

Inspired by Kay, my friend and myself have started a similar blog.

We have been struggling for quite sometime to lose the weight piled up during pregnancy. We have had enough of wearing of shapeless, over sized clothes. So we have decided to 'Work It Out, Live It Up'.

This blog is our attempt to keep track of our efforts in burning up calories. We will also be sharing health food recipes, health tips, etc that will help lose extra pound.

If anyone is interested in joining us, you are most welcome. Drop in a line on the 'About Us' page and we will get in touch with you.

Cheers
Batul (http://scribblermom.wordpress.com)

Bullying the bully

Its the start of school season and going back to school is probably peppered with a little trepidation for some of our little ones. Trepidation at the impending prospect of dealing with the officially designated bully in school. I know. My son has had a bitter experience with a friend turned bully last week, which has terrorised him so intensely that he is now refusing to go to school. (Details on my blog) Its been over a week now and thankfully, the rains have been bad enough to keep him at home. But it is scaring me. How do I bolster my child's selfconfidence enough to enable him to deal with bullying and teasing on his own, without me being around to defend him or give him security? I am sure many of us parents grapple with these questions everyday.
According to recent studies,about 50 percent of children and adolescents are the victims of some form of bullying during some point in their educational life. According to statistic, one of five children is being bullied regularly by either a single other child or a group of other children who gang up on the victim. Bullying takes various forms from the mild form of teasing, jibes, derogatory comments, threats, to physical aggresion and intimidation. And research does show that contrary to our expectations, bullying does exist in preschool and day care facilities, populated primarily by children under the age of five.
What are the signs by which you know your child is being a victim of bullying in school? A child who earlier loved to go to school but now refuses to go to school is one clear indication that something is drastically wrong at school. A child who clams up when you ask him what happened at school is another indication. A child who pulls out all stops at pretending to be ill with a tummy ache or another excuse to continuously avoid going to school is another. My son has all these. I am terrified because more than the physical scars of bullying, I hate seeing my happy go lucky cheerful son being morose and terrified of going into school. What sort of emotional scars has he received already before I have even become aware of it?
For my son, the bullying has progressed from verbal teasing and physical intimidation to actual pushing and shoving. Pushing down a flight of stairs is terrifying for anyone, adult or child. Not to mention the grave physical danger it presents to the child. It scares me as a mother. No, it terrifies me. Not only is this physically dangerous to my child. It is also affecting him emotionally and psychologically. And short of keeping him at home, there seems to be at the outset, little I can do to protect him.
Over the past week I have been thinking a lot about how I can help my child deal with bullying appropriately, without it progressing to physical harassment and pushing, shoving and such violent behavior. Can I try to keep my child safe from a distance? Short of actually morphing into a fly on the wall ready to grow a sting and bite the child harassing my child? I can only try from the outside to make a difference and this is what I have been doing:

Encourage my child to talk about the bullying experience with me. And getting him to understand why it is happening, and that it is not his fault. In my son's case, it is because he is tinier and quite clueless about what is going on in class thanks to his hyperactivity and attention issues that makes him a soft target for some other children to pick on.

Insist that my son immediately bring instances of bullying to the notice of the classteacher who will deal with it appropriately.

Remove himself from the situation immediately if the bully gets aggressive or call for help loudly.

On no account is he to hit back, or get aggressive with the aggressor.That would be just the trigger needed to put the aggressor on overdrive.

He is to stay out of the path of the bully, and as far as possible remain within sight of an authority figure in class.

He is not to go to the toilet alone. He is to ask to be accompanied by an ayah or an assistant teacher.

Develop a friendship and bonding with other children in the class to enable him to have a support group should he be picked on. This I will encourage and nurture by organising playdates with some other children in the class with whom he gets along well.

Another important thing I have started with him is practicing possible situations with the bully and getting him trained in possible responses. While he is not to fight back or be his "mard ka bachcha' self, he is to make sure the bully knows that the behaviour will be reported to the authorities (aka the classteacher and me) and that the bully can get duly punished for the same. I am trying to build up his self confidence so he can intimidate the bully without getting into the vicious cycle of rewarding aggression with aggression.

If the bully's parents are reasonable people, you could meet up with them to explain your concerns and ask them to speak to their child to desist from such behaviour. In my case, the mother is in complete denial that her son could cause another child any harm deliberately, and so I have not pursued the matter further.

Talk to the classteacher as well as the school coordinator about the issue and your fears. Sometimes, since bullying happens away from the gaze of the teacher, the teacher might not even be aware that this is happening.

Dont make your complaints personal against another child. When you speak, put your concern for the physical and emotional wellbeing of your child over everything.

And finally, I have told my child that he is to come to me with everything that happens in school. I am not judging him. I am not going to ask him what he could have done to provoke the situation. I want him to know that his parents are rocks of support who will do all they can to smooth out the wrinkles in his school life.

What are your suggestions? Have you ever faced such a situation with your child? How did you deal with it? How did your child deal with it? I would love to hear them and try and implement them. Right now, my son needs all the help he can get.

Journey for some weight loss and getting fit - want to join in?

[Posted by Kay of http://towardsabettertomorrow.blogspot.com/]

I realized it's high time that I got rid of those extra pounds in my hips and elsewhere and have started working out. I am not dieting - just eating healthy and working out and avoiding junk food.
I have started recording what I eat and workout in an online journal (aka blog!).

http://liveloveworkout.blogspot.com/

A friend of mine in Toronto is my partner. she has her own blog too.

If anybody is interested in joining us, you are most welcome. Let's cheer and motivate each other.

[P.s: Sandeepa, I hope it's okay to post this here. If not, let me know. I'll delete the post.]

Raising Chip

A while ago, I had written a post about the spirited child Chip is. I refuse to call him difficult and while it is vexing to get my point across to him at times, I admire his resolve and determination. He also tends to get frustrated easily and can fly into what I call nuclear tantrums. Change is hard on him. He is a slow adapter. Traditional child rearing advice is lost on him. Never works. He is only three and as he grows up, his temperament may change little or not at all, but I sure hope to teach him how to change the way he expresses his thoughts and emotions. A few weeks ago I bought a book- Raising your Spirited Child by Mary Kurcinka. While I have yet to read it, I thought it might be a good idea to put into writing my own strategies and later compare them to those in the book.

Be very specific
While this is true of most toddlers, for spirited children, this is a life saving technique. “Don’t touch that”, “Sit here” doesn’t quite cut it. Even if you tell Chip the dire consequences of his actions, his impulse doesn’t go away. For e.g. if I tell Chip to put the fork down when he is running around the kitchen with it, he won’t listen. He wants to do “something” with the fork, and running around with it is the only thing that comes to his mind. Instead I tell him to put it in the sink or put it back in the flatware drawer. That satisfies his urge, I get a chore done and he is out of trouble.

A few months ago Chip and I visited a friend and her new baby. Chip was very excited and in his excitement pulled the little baby’s hand. Instead of telling him to not touch the baby or play with other things which would have resulted in a tantrum, I channeled his urge. He wanted to connect to the baby. So I allowed him a gentle pat on the blanket by the foot and told him to sing songs and recite the alphabet. He does that to all babies he sees now. The parents are amused and the babies gurgle and laugh which delights him.

Let them know what to expect
Even if it is trip to the tot lot or a dinner with friends or a doctor’s visit, I always tell him what to expect of the place and event and of him. I tell him names of all the friends we are visiting and what we plan to do. I also tell him what I expect of him – he has to share, no whining, no fuss when its time to go home. Or if we are going to the doctor, what will happen (stethoscope, look in your ear etc). This way he is prepared and does not get caught with surprises. For the past few days, he has gotten into the habit of asking a grown up what their name is. I personally feel this is rude, so I have told him he has to ask me softly (or I have to tell him the name of the person we are meeting before hand). I have also told him I will remember to introduce him to people. He is a young boy now. Stop the whine with shock and awe Chip whines. And he is persistent. I need to stop the whine before it turns into a tantrum. And like most kids, Chip’s whine does not go away when you ignore it. It gets worse. So instead of telling him again that he cannot have jelly beans today, I sit down with him and tell him jelly beans have artificial colors and preservatives and that will make holes in his brain.

Shock and awe.
Since he has learnt something new here, his attention gets diverted to the artificial colors and preservatives instead of the jelly beans. Give them something to do I give mine chores. He sets the table every night. He helps himself to cereal and snacks from the pantry. He helps me unload the dishwasher. He puts his diaper in the bin every morning and his clothes in the hamper. It gives him a sense of importance and a comforting routine and giving him safe activities puts him out of trouble for at least 10-15 minutes a day.

Teach them to identify their emotions and triggers
This is very useful. Chip has a temper that can quickly get out of hand. A few months ago, I tried this trick. Every time he would get angry and thre a tantrum, I would tell him to tell me when he realized he was getting angry and that I would help him. It took a few months and he needs a reminder every now and then, but he does come and tell me to help him because he is angry or feels like a tantrum. We sit down and we “search and pluck” all the tantrums from his head. There are usually ten – so he has learnt to count till 10 when he gets angry. He also identifies when he is sad and tells me and we deal with it. Or when he is scared or happy. Down time and quiet time They need this more than the other kids, I suspect. I know kids who would cry way after midnight at their own 1st birthday parties. Chip cried in the first five minutes because he wanted everyone to go home and leave him alone.

Even know, he needs some quiet and one-on-one time every day with me in the evening. Undivided attention. He is much better behaved that way. Many times, when we have company over, he tells me he wants to go to bed way before his expected bedtime. I take the cue. He is overwhelmed and 20 minutes by ourselves upstairs usually recharges him and he much better behaved when we come back down. On busy days when he tends to be a bit tantrummy, we have a quiet time. Where he can do what he wants without walking/running/climbing/not leaving the room. He can lie down, draw, read books.

Sugar and physical activity
Limiting sugar does help. He is less tantrummy, more even tempered. Juice is no more than 6oz a day or not at all. No sugar in milk. Sweet cereals in limited quantities. No sugary stuff when he is tired. Or sugar combined with protein only (like peanuts and jaggery). Increasing protein intake helps him manage his temper. He also needs a lot of physical activity. He walked a mile and half yesterday and played in the water for 30 mins. in the evening and only then was he tired. I’ll post a review of the book as soon as I am done reading it. Until then, do share your tactics too if you have a spirited child.

*Cross posted on my blog here.