When A was born(2004), along with the super-duper happy feeling, there was also a feeling of uncertainty of "Am I doing the things correctly? ".
Is the room temperature ok?
is he sweating?
Should I bathe him today in this cold weather?
Is the bottle nipple the right size??
I hope I am not hurting his neck if I carry him this way....
and so on and so forth...
the list goes on....
I used to call my mom quite often with these questions and most of the times she had the answer and at the end of it she said , "YOU will KNOW the right thing to do...if YOU feel its safe..its ok..thats the mothers instinct".
Most of the times I thought that its the "old school of thought". Offcourse, the doctor and the internet(you can find almost everything on the net these days) gives you the most scientific answers! A is almost 3 now...and the last 3 years have changed my outlook quite a bit. I have started believing strongly in my mothers words..there is a thing called MOTHERS INSTINCT!
Last week A got hurt in the creche..a heavy thing fell on his finger and he got a bruise. The creche people called me and informed me about the incident, but they also added that he was playing now normally with just a black mark and a bit of a swell...not much. I went to pick him up and he started crying. Indeed the thumb had a swell...a blue bruise...nothing spectacular. I came home and started observing that he was not using that finger at all...he was playing..happy..but not using the thumb. A+ said that its a simple bruise (like most fathers say) and I should stop worrying about it UNNECESSARILY! Upon my insisting that we take him to the emergency I was also informed that MOTHERS dont allow the son to grow up, etc etc!
But something was just not correct....and finally the practical father gave in to the over-reacting mother...
A was x-rayed and his thumb was found to be broken..............
Poor thing is in plaster now till the elbow.....
The practical A+ admitted that mothers just FEEL the thing....
We all call it MOTHERS INSTINCT.....it EXISTS...believe me.
SO, if you are a mother , your instinct will always show you the right way.......follow it..it never goes wrong.
cheers!
DR
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
My career as a mom : For Mother's May
This post is by Poppins of http://babiesanon.blogspot.com
This post, while late is for Mother's May. It is a story of my growth as a mom. My own tribute to my wonderful mother is here...
DH loves kids and has always loved them. I never noticed them until I had my own. When I got married I declared to DH that I would never want to have a baby. Now that I read so many mommy bloggers, I find a lot of folks felt the same way.
But of course, as time went by and my biological clock ticked louder and louder, I decided to give in and have a baby. And once I made up my mind, I wanted to do it oh-so-perfectly. How naive of me to think that there was only one 'perfect' way to raise a child.
I decided to start with having a perfect pregnancy, which did not quite happen. Due to complications, poppin was premature, and overnight I was a mother to a frail 3.5 lb baby. And if you have never seen a baby that small, let me tell you - it can freak you out. Especially since no one I knew personally had ever had such a small baby.
I loved poppin from the start. I know that some moms will disagree that it happens, but it does. Maybe it was because she was so frail and did not even have the energy to cry but I felt fiercely protective and crazily in love with her from the moment she took to my breast.
I was a crazy sort of mom those first few months, feeding her round the clock, never letting her cry. I also got obsessive about milestones, always on the lookout for problems. That phase ended when at 4 months, poppin topped her weight charts and looked all set to meet the milestones of her peers.
So far it had been easy because all I had to do was stuff poppin's mouth. It was after this that I became an insecure mom. Because around this time, poppin was more interested in the world around her and she was responding to people. All people, especially DH and my mom. But not me. Having had no interest in babies before, I did not know how to coo or do baby talk. I always felt silly doing it and mostly tried to imitate my mom in the privacy of my feeding sessions.
My mom and DH were both naturals at it and managed to get poppin's first laughs, babbling, chortles, coos and smiles. I got nothing except spit up and tears. The tears were mostly mine. I did not love my baby any less but I felt more and more worthless as a mom.
I did not know how to pat her to sleep, it was my mom who did that. I never knew how to comfort her when she cried (without using the breast), DH knew it instinctively. I think that was a low point in my career as a mom. Sometime around that time, my mother went on a month long vacation to the sibling's house. And then it was just me and poppin during the day. I read tonnes of books on parenting and nervously, somehow I found my groove as a mom.
My own style, different from mom's and DH. That was when I became a condescending know-it-all mom. I was like 'My way or the highway'. When my mom came back from vacation, she was harassed by me for patting poppin to sleep. Or for carrying her a lot. Or for putting her to sleep at 6 pm in the evening. Or for asking me to feed her when poppin woke up at 2 AM. I has just gained confidence as a mom and there was no way I was giving in an inch !
This phase continued for the longest time - between poppin's 5 months to getting a year old. Sometimes, I think that there are still remnants :) Around the time poppin was 10 months old, I went back to work and was a nervous wreck when I was in office. What if my mom didn't do it exactly the way I did it? Slowly I realised that there were many other, completely acceptable ways to do it. And my mom with her years of experience, has solved many a problem that I couldn't.
And I like to think that I am now a confident, happy mom. I love poppin, I face challenges with her which I solve with the help of my mom, DH, mother-in-law and with all the advice of co-bloggers. I learnt that it really does take a village to raise a child. I think poppin senses my laid back confidence and, ahem, I have uprooted DH as the most favourite person in her world. yay !
I find it strangely appropriate that I was disappointed when I did not get a Mother's day cheesy card last year, but did not even remember Mother's day this year. When you're blessed with a loving mother and are comfortable in your own identity as a mom, it is truly Mother's day every day.
This post, while late is for Mother's May. It is a story of my growth as a mom. My own tribute to my wonderful mother is here...
DH loves kids and has always loved them. I never noticed them until I had my own. When I got married I declared to DH that I would never want to have a baby. Now that I read so many mommy bloggers, I find a lot of folks felt the same way.
But of course, as time went by and my biological clock ticked louder and louder, I decided to give in and have a baby. And once I made up my mind, I wanted to do it oh-so-perfectly. How naive of me to think that there was only one 'perfect' way to raise a child.
I decided to start with having a perfect pregnancy, which did not quite happen. Due to complications, poppin was premature, and overnight I was a mother to a frail 3.5 lb baby. And if you have never seen a baby that small, let me tell you - it can freak you out. Especially since no one I knew personally had ever had such a small baby.
I loved poppin from the start. I know that some moms will disagree that it happens, but it does. Maybe it was because she was so frail and did not even have the energy to cry but I felt fiercely protective and crazily in love with her from the moment she took to my breast.
I was a crazy sort of mom those first few months, feeding her round the clock, never letting her cry. I also got obsessive about milestones, always on the lookout for problems. That phase ended when at 4 months, poppin topped her weight charts and looked all set to meet the milestones of her peers.
So far it had been easy because all I had to do was stuff poppin's mouth. It was after this that I became an insecure mom. Because around this time, poppin was more interested in the world around her and she was responding to people. All people, especially DH and my mom. But not me. Having had no interest in babies before, I did not know how to coo or do baby talk. I always felt silly doing it and mostly tried to imitate my mom in the privacy of my feeding sessions.
My mom and DH were both naturals at it and managed to get poppin's first laughs, babbling, chortles, coos and smiles. I got nothing except spit up and tears. The tears were mostly mine. I did not love my baby any less but I felt more and more worthless as a mom.
I did not know how to pat her to sleep, it was my mom who did that. I never knew how to comfort her when she cried (without using the breast), DH knew it instinctively. I think that was a low point in my career as a mom. Sometime around that time, my mother went on a month long vacation to the sibling's house. And then it was just me and poppin during the day. I read tonnes of books on parenting and nervously, somehow I found my groove as a mom.
My own style, different from mom's and DH. That was when I became a condescending know-it-all mom. I was like 'My way or the highway'. When my mom came back from vacation, she was harassed by me for patting poppin to sleep. Or for carrying her a lot. Or for putting her to sleep at 6 pm in the evening. Or for asking me to feed her when poppin woke up at 2 AM. I has just gained confidence as a mom and there was no way I was giving in an inch !
This phase continued for the longest time - between poppin's 5 months to getting a year old. Sometimes, I think that there are still remnants :) Around the time poppin was 10 months old, I went back to work and was a nervous wreck when I was in office. What if my mom didn't do it exactly the way I did it? Slowly I realised that there were many other, completely acceptable ways to do it. And my mom with her years of experience, has solved many a problem that I couldn't.
And I like to think that I am now a confident, happy mom. I love poppin, I face challenges with her which I solve with the help of my mom, DH, mother-in-law and with all the advice of co-bloggers. I learnt that it really does take a village to raise a child. I think poppin senses my laid back confidence and, ahem, I have uprooted DH as the most favourite person in her world. yay !
I find it strangely appropriate that I was disappointed when I did not get a Mother's day cheesy card last year, but did not even remember Mother's day this year. When you're blessed with a loving mother and are comfortable in your own identity as a mom, it is truly Mother's day every day.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
How do you get it all DONE?
I have been a mom for a mere 13 months and its exhausting! I am currently a stay at home mom to twins and I am finding that if I excel in one aspect of life one week, something else gets neglected. I feel like I am in a constant battle of trying to get it all done. I have already resolved that I cannot keep the house as neat and tidy as when I didn't have kids and I would rather play with the kids than fold 4 loads of laundry in one day but what I would love to hear from other moms here is what is your secret to having a somewhat sane life managing home and possibly work if you work outside the home? Do you have a routine for cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry that you want to share? Do you have short cuts for getting your errands and chores done around the house? Do you have some favorite websites or organizers that help you get through your week more efficiently? I will be happy to compile your responses back into this post. Do share. I need new ideas to live more efficiently and do more!
Edited: I thought I would add this based on the current comments - My husband helps me a ton, he comes home by 5:30 even though he has a software job to help me with bed time for our kids. He watches them on the weekends for hours on end so I can run errands, groceries, so on. We also have a gardener to do mowing and weeding and we have a housecleaner every 2 weeks to help. Starting this week my husband is watching the twins in the morning before he goes to work so I can work out at 6 a.m.
I love the feedback I already received would love to hear more about "things" people do that are shortcuts. I guess I want more personal time with family on the weekend than just doing chores and like suggestions for other ideas. Thanks to all for sharing!
Edited: I thought I would add this based on the current comments - My husband helps me a ton, he comes home by 5:30 even though he has a software job to help me with bed time for our kids. He watches them on the weekends for hours on end so I can run errands, groceries, so on. We also have a gardener to do mowing and weeding and we have a housecleaner every 2 weeks to help. Starting this week my husband is watching the twins in the morning before he goes to work so I can work out at 6 a.m.
I love the feedback I already received would love to hear more about "things" people do that are shortcuts. I guess I want more personal time with family on the weekend than just doing chores and like suggestions for other ideas. Thanks to all for sharing!
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Feeding
Chintu has come down with a runny nose (like he does once in 3 months :) ). I give him slightly warm milk, bread soaked in milk and such things...but I would like to get suggestions on what to feed a 16 month old with a blocked nose ?
sigh..
Today I realized how Ive lost track of time after Ive started full-time work again. For the past few summers, Ive prided myself in being home with the kids and summers have always been organized and perfect. At least that's what I think. The kids would rather sleep through brunch and feast on junk all afternoon, but I kept them on their toes half the time with some crazy summer camp schedule.
As organized as I am [or thought i was] I'd made a note of all the good [and quickly filling] camps around the area, created reminders for the start of registration at my home computer and armed myself with all paperwork necessary in a binder.
You'd think with such precision I'd put the staff secretary at the White Hosue to shame, but no, right there I made a huge mistake. How good is a home computer when you don't use it?! I don't pour over it anymore checking mails, doing my documents, or browsing happy sites or shopping online . All those exciting tasks have now been shifted to the system at work. So yes, whats the point in having a reminder when it's blinking away to glory, and no one notices it?
And thats the short version of how I missed all deadlines.
Ive been kicking myself ever since I realized over the weekend, that I may for all you know be booted out of the 2 main camps that I so badly want my tweens to go. Not just coz it's good for them, but it would solve my anxiety on leaving them alone at home while I schlep myself off 20 miles to 'work' !
As if I am not miserable enough, one nice mom calls me up to say " so did you get the confirmation yet? I got mine last evening. Boy, they get filled so quickly don't they? Hope you get yours, you sent it only on Friday. Maybe in the next couple of days. Hopefully. "
Sure. I feel like a complete bumpkin now.
As organized as I am [or thought i was] I'd made a note of all the good [and quickly filling] camps around the area, created reminders for the start of registration at my home computer and armed myself with all paperwork necessary in a binder.
You'd think with such precision I'd put the staff secretary at the White Hosue to shame, but no, right there I made a huge mistake. How good is a home computer when you don't use it?! I don't pour over it anymore checking mails, doing my documents, or browsing happy sites or shopping online . All those exciting tasks have now been shifted to the system at work. So yes, whats the point in having a reminder when it's blinking away to glory, and no one notices it?
And thats the short version of how I missed all deadlines.
Ive been kicking myself ever since I realized over the weekend, that I may for all you know be booted out of the 2 main camps that I so badly want my tweens to go. Not just coz it's good for them, but it would solve my anxiety on leaving them alone at home while I schlep myself off 20 miles to 'work' !
As if I am not miserable enough, one nice mom calls me up to say " so did you get the confirmation yet? I got mine last evening. Boy, they get filled so quickly don't they? Hope you get yours, you sent it only on Friday. Maybe in the next couple of days. Hopefully. "
Sure. I feel like a complete bumpkin now.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Hello, Hello from mom of twins!
Hi there everyone!
Thanks Sandeepa for re-inviting me to DMC. Hotmail didn’t like the invite but GMAIL did! go figure.
I have been lurking around and commenting for a little while but here is my official intro: I am Archana from Seattle, stay home mom of almost 13 month old boy and girl twins - N & A. I used to have a public blog but I got a little more personal on my blog (I didn’t blog anon) and went private! Some of you are on my private blog already and I can thank you all (Kay, Boo, Tharini) for introducing me to this wonderful space!
I went from a very busy software DINK lifestyle (dual income no kids) to this newly transformed world of motherhood. I love being a mother and it has been more enriching than anything else I have done in my life but at the same token it is the hardest undertaking of my life. I was a total spoilt brat before the babies arrived and now they are teaching a lesson or two on life! :)
I hope to contribute when I can. I do have a newbie food blog http://archanacooks.blogspot.com as I like to cook but I don't know how often I will be keeping that up! My other interests include traveling, reading, and sporting stuff. I am a certified scuba diver, love to hike, bike and even attempted surfing and skydiving in my lifetime!
Thanks Sandeepa for re-inviting me to DMC. Hotmail didn’t like the invite but GMAIL did! go figure.
I have been lurking around and commenting for a little while but here is my official intro: I am Archana from Seattle, stay home mom of almost 13 month old boy and girl twins - N & A. I used to have a public blog but I got a little more personal on my blog (I didn’t blog anon) and went private! Some of you are on my private blog already and I can thank you all (Kay, Boo, Tharini) for introducing me to this wonderful space!
I went from a very busy software DINK lifestyle (dual income no kids) to this newly transformed world of motherhood. I love being a mother and it has been more enriching than anything else I have done in my life but at the same token it is the hardest undertaking of my life. I was a total spoilt brat before the babies arrived and now they are teaching a lesson or two on life! :)
I hope to contribute when I can. I do have a newbie food blog http://archanacooks.blogspot.com as I like to cook but I don't know how often I will be keeping that up! My other interests include traveling, reading, and sporting stuff. I am a certified scuba diver, love to hike, bike and even attempted surfing and skydiving in my lifetime!
Another Mom member of DMC
Hello to all the moms in DMC!
This is my first post on this awesome community. We (my honey P, my 2 & 1/2 yr old boy, E and I) returned to India this February after 9 years in the US, mostly in SoCal. We are in Hyderabad for a year( at least) and while P pursues his dream of getting an MBA, I am thoroughly enjoying being at home with my bundle of joy! Working full-time all these years didn't give me a chance to fully appreciate the daily, tiny miracles that my baby comes up with and I plan to make up for all those days.I love to cook and I have visited some of the other moms' blogs and boy! am I on hallowed ground here!! I am really happy to be part of this community. See you all around!
You can visit my other world at My Taki.
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