Check this On Balance -- Are you the Other Mother by Gwendolen Gros
I liked this part best
"My 5-year-old daughter recently interrupted her litany of what-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up ("a writer, a doctor, a vet, a singer, an artist,") with this question: "But Mommy, will I have time to have all my jobs before my babies come?"
I can't wait to see how she answers it."
Except from one more article On Balance by By Leslie Morgan Steiner
"Yesterday's Washington Post Outlook section carried a smart article called The Mommy War Machine that argued that much of the so-called "mommy wars" between working and at-home moms doesn't exist except in the media and among writers trying to promote their books. I don't disagree that media stories often oversimplify and sensationalize the problems facing American mothers -- but I also cannot deny that I see lots of evidence that women experience a "mommy war" driven by guilt, tension and understandable jealousy on both sides. There's another, even more debilitating war inside moms' heads as we struggle to come to peace with our choices, or lack of choices, about how we combine work and raising kids. This inner mommy war too often spills out in public disparagement of moms who've made different choices."
This article by Leslie Morgan Steiner discusses why more new mothers opt to stay at home (I guess its from the perspective of Americans), but the reasons were pretty strong and so I am reproducing a part
Here's what Shellenbarger found:
* The trend of moms staying home is more widespread than articles like the New York Times Opt-Out Revolution suggest, with women at all income levels taking job breaks.
* More mothers of infants (less than 12 months old) are staying home (48 percent in 2004 vs. 41 percent in 1997) than mothers of older children.
* Well-educated mothers with bachelor's degrees and above, and women with husbands in the top 20 percent of earners, have shown the biggest dip in employment.
Shellenbarger listed the following six reasons women drop out of the work force after childbirth:
1) Desire to nurture babies in their first years
2) Poor quality of available child care
3) High cost of acceptable child care
4) Lack of extended maternity leave
5) Lack of flexible return-to-work options
6) Decision to switch to a more family-friendly career
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
That question from the little girl scares me really! Even my daughter thinks kids are a hassle to have when you have a career and she expects me to take care of them if and when she has them!She says she would rather keep two dogs instead!
That last list are all valid points to think for a working who wants to quit,imagine the struggle having to choose betn motherhood and career.That is so sad.
I see many moms staying at home with kids now in my neighborhood and they were all working full time jobs/careers before!They get frustrated after sometime. I mean staying home is a full time job too ,don't get me wrong but it's a thankless job!If somebody LOVES their career,they should have at least have part time job.I am a homebird,I can happily live at home without stepping out for weeks!It's not possible for every woman.
It is specially hard to maintain kids and career without any other family support living in a nuclear family as we do these days!
World is changing and so rapidly.We are not happy anymore just to be mommies and work outside without over thinking about everything!!
Okay,I thinking too much now Sandeepa! Let me go and feed my kids some milk and cookies!!:D
Nice article Sandeepa! Like Asha points out it is going to be even tougher choices for our kids! It is all about finding the ever-elusive balance.
MY sister already feels this way and she's the same generation as me. Looking at my struggles to bring up two boys, she'd like to swear off kids....!
"Mommy Wars" sure has generated lot of revenue for the magazines no doubt.
When we talk about choices we are clearly talking about Mom who belong to the higher income groups. When a mom has to work to feed her kids she does not have even one choice. mnmamma touched on that a liitle bit in her post.
Well a friend who had grownup kids at my work when I had DD1 offered me her advice. "When the kids are very young all they need is clean safe environment, food and constant attention. But when they are older in their pre teens and teens is when they need you and your support the most."
I have not forgotten that and I kind of agree with her, teen age years are the most difficult and that is when a lot happens that determines which way they choose to go in life. Physically they are independent but in other ways they are still kids.
For moms who are planning to go back to work when the kids are older here is something to think about.
Post a Comment