This post is by Ranjani of EAT AND TALK.
My daughter is 3 . She used to sleep in the crib the first 6 months( in our room). Then she started sleeping with us . So we attached the crib to our bed( removed one side of the railing) . SO she used to sleep till around 2 am in the crib & then crawl & come to our bed . No problem cos she didnt disturb us . Now also she does the same thing . But can she do it without the whining ..NO !! she will whine every 2 hrs after 2am in the morning, catch hold of my hair or hand to go to sleep..
She never got up so much at night when she was teething !. She is not teething , she is not hungry , thirsty . I read that if they whine at night it could be that they want to do pee pee. I ask her but she does not want to. As soon as she gets a hold of my hand , she goes back to sleep..
Its me & hubby who are wide awake.
Is it bcos she is getting dreams? I feel its just seperation anxiety at night .
If you see her during the day , you will not believe its the same kid i'm talking abt . She is not clingy , whiny during the day , plays with other kids nicely , does not have seperation anxiety during the day , polite, etc..But takes a whole new avtaar at night .
I dont know whether i will get a solution for this . Just feels good to vent out here :))
My hubby says its just a phase & will go away .
Thanx for reading if you came this far ..lol..
Please do not bash me for deciding to cosleep. If u have decided to let ur kids sleep in another room , i respect that decision too.
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17 comments:
Hee, hee let me hug you as we have almost the same problem
My 3 yr old co-sleeps, no crib nothing, she is right there at the centre. We had to get a King Bed to let her in :)
She initially starts off by sleeping in the nook of my arm and then gradually rolls over but fidgets a lot at night. Since I have to leave early for work sometimes I get my sleeping bag or go the other bedroom and sleep out of sheer frustration :) Then she gets to bother her dad solely
The major problem in my case is --putting her to bed is a huge chore. It takes up to one hour. She just does not want to go to bed if I am not going with her. I don't mind her co-sleeping I love it actually , but I somehow want to teach her to atleast sleep on her own once I have tucked her in.
I have tried tucking her in in her own bed too, but then I have to sit in that room for an hour almost with my laptop until she sleeps and then middle of the night she is back Wham !!
oh mu God..these two stories are scaring me already. My son is 14 months old and is doing most of the stuff that yoyu guys are talking about...I thought it will fade away in the coming months...but look slike not!..eeeeks ;)
-Dee
Ranjani,
My son is 2 1/2 yrs old and he does what your daughter does, but only in winter. Even with the heater and comforter on, he feels the chill and wants the warmth by either holding on to my hand or cuddling up to me. He doesn't do it in the summer :D . I have also noticed that if I just place my hand on him as soon as gets into that whiny mode, he quietens down and goes to sleep. However, if I acknowledge his cry or god forbid talk to him, thats a good hour gone to calm him down again.
Even if that is not the case with your daughter, hold on there and know that things can only get better. Hope that your daughter outgrows it soon.
Hi Ranjani,
could to try telling some stories or playing some good songs and listening to it with her?sometimes that has worked,from my experience.
i meant before going to bed and not in the wee hours!they may sometimes want more of us!!
i meant before going to bed and not in the wee hours!they may sometimes want more of us!!
What Vee says works at times. Placing a hand on thir chest reassures them, try that
Guess what Ranjani! What I am going to say is going to get all westerners chaddis in a twist!!
Both my kids slept in my bed as infants every day from birth to the first two years although we had a crib.Then they asked me to buy them colorful kiddie beds and moved to another room on their own!!It was easy with Trisha and easier with Tushar bcos he wanted a separate bed and share the room with his sister!
Did I sleep well in those two years? No, but that's motherhood for ya and your hubby is right,they will grow out of it.Just humor them when you can, and sooner than later,they will lock "their" rooms and keep you OUT anyway! ;P
asha, lol@that last line.
ranjani, you don't need 8 hours sleep:)):)):)). just kidding!
each kid is different and if you have tried everything and R is still waking up every hour then it is just a phase and she will soon snap out of it. do you have a regular nightime routine? like giving warm bath with some soothing baby wash, reading stories? if not then start that. also in thte morning ask her if she sees anything in sleep like few times M told me that she saw puppy while sleeping and she was scared thought it was hilarious for me:)):))
no one is going to judge you. it is upto us to put kids in separate rooms or co-sleep with them. as you already know M used to sleep in a crib during daytime and at night with us. when she turned 2 i got her toddler bed and put that in her room. never forced her. she used to go, sit on it but still would come back and sleep with us or as sandeepa mentioned right in the centre:)):)):)).
now that she is 3 sometimes she asks us to read her bedtime story in her room and then she would sleep in her room. but still most of the times she wants to sleep with us and i am fine too. don't fret over it and for that 8 hours sleep...don't worry now that you are a parent you will never get that. woh gujra zamana hai:)):))
@sandeepa- lucky you , u get to sit on a laptop when you put her to sleep:))i have to lie down with her
@dee--all the best ( with a evil laughter)
@veekay - funny abt summer/winter patterns..i'll try not to acknowledge her crying.I sometimes do.
@gayathri- telling stories/hearing songs in the middle of the night!! just kidding , i knew u meant before sleeping ..we do that..(typed it before i read ur 2nd comment)
@asha - U kannadigas think alike:)) even hubby says pretty soon she will lock us out of her room.
@reena- i actually need 10 hrs sleep , but thought u guys will laugh , so said 8 hrs:)) today she hasn't taken a nap , so she will sleep by 7:30pm ..hooray !
Hi Ranjani..
I can understand your frustration completely. Does your daughter take an afternoon nap usually? Do you think she'd do better without it? As in go to sleep faster at night? In that case, maybe she might even stay asleep a little longer.
Co-sleeping is really fun and I know the pleasures of it. But I am fast coming to the conclusion that as a result, a child does not always learn to put themselves back to sleep, and gets used to night wakings and that's where it gets hard.
I think the best thing you can do at this point, is to gently reassure her, as wordlessly as possible, like dee suggested. I feel that it will fade away and she will sleep better.
Also if she has a really active day with some physical exertions thrown in, she might sleep more fitfully at night.
I am saying this because I have made Akhil (my 4 yr old) run up and down the living room a 100 times, on some days so he has a workout for sleep. :)
I was about to do a post of my kids' sleeping stories...will share it here once I do.
I think
Hi Ranjani, haha, sorry but I couldn't help laughing about how she catches your hair or hand to go to sleep, so adorable!
Yes, I do believe it has to do with dreams, and it should be a phase, unfortunately, one that can last quite long! My son was like that, too, even though he has his own room. He'd climb out to come sleep with us, but kicks a lot, so while he dozes off against one of us, his daddy and I are wide awake. Grrr.. :) It took him about a month to stop "visiting" us!
HI Ranjani,
I feel for you girl...my 1.5 yr sleeps beside me and the 3 yr old beside his dad in Separate rooms....I am trying slowly to break them into their own rooms...but in the middle of the night, one screams "mummy" and the other "daddy", so we end up bringing them back in each of our 2 different bedrooms....still, I am trying, it just might work someday!
Wow! I have the same problem, it's almost like I did this post!!!!
Anyway, most of my desi friends have their kids in a separate room before 2, mine is not even out of my bed! Anyway, I would love tips from those of you have had success with this.. what's the least painful way for parents and child to get the child into their own bedroom? My daughetr has a bed in her room which she loves to sit on, read on, etc but come bedtime she needs to be right next to me.
Asha, how did you get Trisha into her own room? How old was she at that time?
@ tharini -- the thing is i dont have a problem with how much time she takes to sleep..But once she is asleep , i dont want her to keep fidgeting in the middle of the night. She mostly takes a nap , if not she gets really tired by evening ..so right now , she naps for an hr.
@trupti ..one of my friend who has 2 kids does the exact same thing as u...all sleep in different rooms:)
@shilpa..i cant wait to get the bed to my own..
@sj..my kid is going backwards ..slept in crib initially , then halfway ..now fultime in our bed ..sheesh..
ranjani, 10 hrs sleep!!!!!!!!!! kuch sapne ab poore nahin honge:))
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